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JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM

JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/15/12 7:02 AM
G'day to Everyone!

I am very happy to announce this.

Within another 48 hours, my New Book, 'JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM' will be posted here, in DhO,

as well as in Scrbd.com., Google, etc.

Thanks for your hearty welcome for my previous book ACTUAL FREEDOM MADE EASY.

May All Auspiciousness come to us all.

Good Luck!

JUSTINE


G'day to Everyone!
I am happy to announce that I am launching today a new book by name 'JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM'. This I do as per the request of many friends who requested me to share my thoughts with all. For example like this

...thank you justine for making it public. any and all info you wish to share about your life, your ideas, your practice will be enthusiastically read by yours truly.

peace.

jon T.



I hereby furnish the downloading links for my E-book :

1. Scribd:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/89160012/Justine-s-Memoirs-on-Actual-Freedom-Part-I

2. Google docs:

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-B_O_ms6bsYMkt2TWVVbTAxNHM


Regards,
JUSTINE.

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/11/12 8:23 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
Why not now?
Get it? emoticon

replying so I'll get updated when you post it

AUSPICIOUSNESS INDEED

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/11/12 8:27 AM as a reply to m m a.
Thanks!

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 2:34 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
G'day to Everyone!

I am happy to announce that I am launching today a new book by name 'JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM'. This I do as per the request of many friends who requested me to share my thoughts with all. For example like this

....thank you justine for making it public. any and all info you wish to share about your life, your ideas, your practice will be enthusiastically read by yours truly.

peace.

jon T.


I hereby furnish the downloading links for my E-book :

1. Scribd:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/89160012/Justine-s-Memoirs-on-Actual-Freedom-Part-I

2. Google docs:

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-B_O_ms6bsYMkt2TWVVbTAxNHM


Regards,
JUSTINE.

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 3:40 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
Hi justine,

Are the journal entries random or are they in successive order time-wise? Are they a journal of AFTER you became actually free or before, or a mix? This is unclear.

Nick

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 4:56 AM as a reply to Nikolai ..
Are the journal entries random or are they in successive order time-wise? Are they a journal of AFTER you became actually free or before, or a mix? This is unclear.


Hi Nick,

The journal entries are random. No successive order time-wise. It is journal written after I became actually free, and the
reports are an inevitable mix. These pages were written by me, with a pen and papers, 15 days back, in a single sitting of 120 minutes. For me chronological time has lost all its significance.

Regards and best wishes,

Justine

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 4:27 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
Hi Justine,

if you don't mind I'd like to ask for some clarifications about some of the things you wrote about. Maybe you could clarify where journal entires are pre and post actually free. Some things seem to contradict much of what has been sold as 'actually free'. And if these contradictions are true, then I personally can relate to much of what is said by you of your ongoing experience.

When I go to buy something in a mall full of crowd I become jittery. In India it is very bad with unruly behaviour of people though my calmness is stable, it is highly distracting, all the meanness and silliness of the crowd makes me uncomfortable and I want to quit that place as quickly as possible.’ Actually free’, doesn’t mean I’m a macho to impinge a mad crowd and rule the roost of it all. Or to stoically tolerate the suffocation of an unruly mass. Page 20


How did the experience of 'becoming jittery' arise? How did it manifest? How was it not experienced as agitation or fear, both of which have been said to be eradicated at AF?

My wife, as if thinking that she is helping me, she totally jammed the desktop wires. When I started correcting it, tension mounted upon tension. I started feeling almost as I was going mad. I chanted my mantra, ‘Actual has no vibes’, silently, and vigorously. My focus got recovered. A startling clarity got opened. I took one wire at a time. The next wire, next wire etc. In ten minutes, I decorated my table in a neat way. I was sweating. I took some cool water, accompanied by an ahimsa enema. I became all cool. I played a DVD on my PC with some drinks. Heaven returned to me. Page 23


How does the experience of 'going mad' manifest in the mind/body? How is it not affective? So it seems that the AF state you claim is not always the same and that it can be shaken by situations? How is this not affective?

It is 1A.M. My sleep is disturbed.I find I have to go for a pee.I feel lazy to get up.The comfort of sleep is so obsessive. But now it has to be broken. My body felt heavy. First, there were no thoughts at all. Suddenly two three major thoughts entered my brain. They were connected to my previous day’s incidents. They made me somewhat unpleasant. There was uncomfortable sensation.

After peeing, as usual all the time having automatic chanting of my mantra, ‘Actual has no vibes’, vigorously, I was still feeling like a punctured tyre. I put off the bath room light and hastened to my bed. For more than 20 minutes, I could not sleep. There were more than 10 or 20 major thoughts struggling for attention. All the while I was at ease and undisturbed. To be actually free, doesn’t mean you are not porous to thoughts. The secret is they are there without affecting you.
Page 24


How were 'thoughts' seen as unpleasant? How did you know they were 'unpleasant? What was the uncomfortable sensation? How was it not seen as residual 'affect' and 'being'? If 'they are there without affecting you', then why the need for a mantra (Actual has no vibes). Is this pre or post AF?

One day I asked him, ‘are you an idiot savant?’ (meaning, a genius in a particular area of brain and otherwise a total fool). He was all cool. He looked sharply at me and started giving a mini-lecture that lasted more than 30 minutes. He said, he read a lot, experienced a lot, he has a successful website with a daily visit of 2000 guests, etc.
It was all unemotional delivery of words, but in a strange way full of life. Slowly I grew nervous and a strange dread began to set on me. All the while I was looking at his guileless form. It ended with my mummy calling us for supper. On the dining table, he was an enthusiastic eater, while I was uneasy with some absorbed thoughts. Page 30


How does 'growing nervous' not be experienced as affect and pertaining to 'being' feeling nervous? A strange dread sounds like 'fear'. How is this not affective when one claims to be free of affect?

As the bus runs, my stomach churns with different emotions. All the vibes of the people run through me, though nothing affects me. This is the strangeness of being actually free, for me. I don’t know about others. Their experiences may be altogether different in every way. Page 33


Your stomach churns with 'emotions'? Does this mean there is still some residual affect in your ongoing experience? What is different from before AF and now with 'emotions"? How are they experienced differently?

Thanks for taking the time to answer all these queries.

Much obliged,

Nick

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 6:46 AM as a reply to Nikolai ..
Thanks for taking the time to answer all these queries.

Much obliged,


Hi Nick,

1) I am pleased to answer your queries, as they show your genuine and brimming anguish for freedom.

2) Many things are bound to contradict with what had been sold as 'actually free'. Same freedom will be experienced uniquely by each person. Buddhas of yore, and even Richard has not spoken over it yet. But I dare to speak on it. Enjoy freedom as it comes to you. As Andrew Jones recently wrote for Ed C. take a pliable course and results are sure to come.

3) Becoming jittery belongs to our 50,000 years of neuronal conditioning. It is not fear. These are not eradicated in AF, (at least for me). I wrote I am not a macho.

4) 'Going mad', is an apparent event, which is inevitable too. Getting balanced into your poise of freedom is REAL AF. If you squeal, break mirrors, throw glasses, gnash your teeth (I did all these things when I was a spiritual giant -a giant indeed- when I was not actually free, and now I don't do them), that means you are still under the grip of instinctual passions. We can do something easy Nick, and AF is so simple.

5) Thoughts certainly affect us. It is an energy. Won't you get a mild electric shock if you touch an earthing plug? We are surrounded by a criss-cross of 'thought field' that is flooding us all every minute, day and night. Don't imagine actually free means you start living in a world of 'lotus eating heaven'. The actual freedom experience is million times powerful than anything 'unpleasant', but if someone artfully breaks wind (farts) straight on your nostril knowingly or unknowingly, you will hold your nose and feel chagrin for a minute. An actually free person has more chagrins than normal people each day.

6) Don't take things literally, Nick. We should grow. Life is full of unnerving things. That's why Richard demands nerves of steel to be actually free. Still one may go nervous. But they won't have power to rule you. That's all the present earth can permit.
Just yesterday the town Trichy where I am sitting now, shook terribly with earth quake. Everyone ran out to the street, including me. Don't dream too much. 'Free of affect' means, you are not a slave to it.

7) Yes. My stomach churns with emotions some times. If I happen to see a nasty vomit on my bike seat, or a blood-curdling scene of an accident, where I see a headless body twitches in a pool of blood, won't my normalcy be affected? Psychically there are more horrible things one may encounter even after becoming actually free. Why I wrote Richard wears invisible blinkers? He saves energy that way. The fact is these things don't rule you. But we have to shiver for a while with certain things Nick - because we are still human beings made up of flesh and blood, balanced by the neuronal activities of our mysterious thing called brain - and we are not made up of nuts, bolts and screws.

Thanks for your interest in my writings, Nick.

Good Luck to you.

Regards,

JUSTINE

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 7:29 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
1) I am pleased to answer your queries, as they show your genuine and brimming anguish for freedom.


I ask because in July last year, 'being' dropped away in the ongoing experience. I had a couple more shifts later on yet I have experienced (a since greatly diminished) array of residual phenomena that you seem to be talking about in your own experience. It is interesting to note that in all my conversations and readings of trent, jill, and tarin, who have had their 'attainments' of 'actually free' questioned by Richard himself, that they never talked of such 'residual' phenomena lasting more than a month post 1st 'AF' shift. I have had it since July, with certain phenomena ceasing for good since then.

2) Many things are bound to contradict with what had been sold as 'actually free'. Same freedom will be experienced uniquely by each person. Buddhas of yore, and even Richard has not spoken over it yet. But I dare to speak on it. Enjoy freedom as it comes to you. As Andrew Jones recently wrote for Ed C. take a pliable course and results are sure to come.


I see. It is interesting to see different personalties and different conditioning still supposedly operating in those who profess to being 'actually free'.

3) Becoming jittery belongs to our 50,000 years of neuronal conditioning. It is not fear. These are not eradicated in AF, (at least for me). I wrote I am not a macho.


I have called this 'shadow being' in my own experience.

4) 'Going mad', is an apparent event, which is inevitable too. Getting balanced into your poise of freedom is REAL AF. If you squeal, break mirrors, throw glasses, gnash your teeth (I did all these things when I was a spiritual giant -a giant indeed- when I was not actually free, and now I don't do them), that means you are still under the grip of instinctual passions. We can do something easy Nick, and AF is so simple.


So you are not at 'REAL AF'? What was the phenomenological experience of 'going mad'? Is it simply a sensation in a localised area of the body? The chest for example? I'd call this 'shadow being' in my own experiecne.

5) Thoughts certainly affect us. It is an energy. Won't you get a mild electric shock if you touch an earthing plug? We are surrounded by a criss-cross of 'thought field' that is flooding us all every minute, day and night. Don't imagine actually free means you start living in a world of 'lotus eating heaven'. The actual freedom experience is million times powerful than anything 'unpleasant', but if someone artfully breaks wind (farts) straight on your nostril knowingly or unknowingly, you will hold your nose and feel chagrin for a minute. An actually free person has more chagrins than normal people each day.


"lotus eating heaven' sounds like the locked in paradise tarin talked of, and the azul and verdant paradise Richard talks of. Interesting to see you have quite a different view.

cha·grin (sh-grn)
n.
A keen feeling of mental unease, as of annoyance or embarrassment, caused by failure, disappointment, or a disconcerting event: To her chagrin, the party ended just as she arrived.

So you feel chagrins? How does this manifest phenomenologically? More localised sensations and no mental movement? Or some sort of mental movement unrecognized as 'affect' or manifesting as 'being'?

6) Don't take things literally, Nick. We should grow. Life is full of unnerving things. That's why Richard demands nerves of steel to be actually free. Still one may go nervous. But they won't have power to rule you. That's all the present earth can permit.
Just yesterday the town Trichy where I am sitting now, shook terribly with earth quake. Everyone ran out to the street, including me. Don't dream too much. 'Free of affect' means, you are not a slave to it.



How do you experience these nervousness? Physical sensations only? A slight mental movement? Free of affect means you are not a slave to it means affect still arises yet, it does not 'stick'? Or it does not sway the mind? So affect is still present to some degree?

7) Yes. My stomach churns with emotions some times. If I happen to see a nasty vomit on my bike seat, or a blood-curdling scene of an accident, where I see a headless body twitches in a pool of blood, won't my normalcy be affected? Psychically there are more horrible things one may encounter even after becoming actually free. Why I wrote Richard wears invisible blinkers? He saves energy that way. The fact is these things don't rule you. But we have to shiver for a while with certain things Nick - because we are still human beings made up of flesh and blood, balanced by the neuronal activities of our mysterious thing called brain - and we are not made up of nuts, bolts and screws.


So there is still residual affect felt as sensations experienced physically. Shadow being indeed. Even after a couple of years. Interesting. You are presenting quite a different picture of 'actually free' than those who have in the past.

Interesting times.

Thanks for your honesty, Justine. Much appreciated. Much of what seems to go on out of public view (and sometimes in it) seems motivated more for political reasons, maintaining the status quo, keeping authority localized, keeping 'things' in control and 'pure', maintaining status as this originator or that founder.

The more people talk openly and honestly free of such political maneuvering, about what is possible for all humans and the manifold ways that they can go about changing their brains for good, the more people will have access to such freedom, not the other way around. The more one holds on to one's dogmatic context for practice and selling of such a practice, the more it keeps others who object to such dogmatic contexts at bay. The more variety of contexts for the practice of 'apperception' or 'pre-symbolic awareness', the more people will have their means to freedom.

Wouldn't you say?

Nick

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 8:23 AM as a reply to Nikolai ..
So you are not at 'REAL AF'? What was the phenomenological experience of 'going mad'? Is it simply a sensation in a localised area of the body? The chest for example? I'd call this 'shadow being' in my own experiecne.


Please read it well. I mean, I AM at REAL AF. I mean by 'going mad', a temporary loss of SERENITY. It is in the head, not at chest.
An involuntary excitement of the brain neurons.

some sort of mental movement unrecognized as 'affect' or manifesting as 'being'?


Yes.

it does not 'stick'?


Yes.

So there is still residual affect felt as sensations experienced physically.


Yes.

Thanks for your honesty, Justine. Much appreciated.


Welcome, Nick.

The more variety of contexts for the practice of 'apperception' or 'pre-symbolic awareness', the more people will have their means to freedom.

Wouldn't you say?


Exactly! Double exactly!!

Thanks, Nick

Justine

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 8:36 AM as a reply to Nikolai ..
cha·grin (sh-grn)
n.
A keen feeling of mental unease, as of annoyance or embarrassment, caused by failure, disappointment, or a disconcerting event: To her chagrin, the party ended just as she arrived.

So you feel chagrins? How does this manifest phenomenologically? More localised sensations and no mental movement? Or some sort of mental movement unrecognized as 'affect' or manifesting as 'being'?


From where do you get such precise meaning for words, Nick?

I thought Richard was expert at that. Now you too?!

Wonderful and precise! I am with you always.

Regards,

Justine

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 11:53 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
Hi, Justine

Your account of experiences with Richard gives the impression of him constantly changing his mood.

For example, you wrote:

On another day Richard showed suddenly an altogether different personality. He seemed to be fully displeased with me and went on a lecture for more than an hour how he is deeply read, and he has a successful website visited by 2000 persons a day. It was an unpleasant experience for me.


How would you interpret those changes? Considering your perception of him during that time, would you say he's actually free of all affective activity (feelings, emotions, moods)? If those changes were not caused by affective activity, then why/how did they manifest?

Thanks for your new book!

EDIT. Strikethroughed a word

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 11:37 AM as a reply to Felipe C..
My spiritual Guru Sri La Sri Pandrimalai Swamikal used to perform many miracles.

One day I took Dr. Rupert Sheldrake, who is now a world famous scientist, author of the

famous book 'A New Science of Life'. My Guru turned ordinary water into Rose Water.

My scientist friend exclaimed ‘amazing!’


Did he add roses?

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 1:25 PM as a reply to m m a.
m m a:
My spiritual Guru Sri La Sri Pandrimalai Swamikal used to perform many miracles.

One day I took Dr. Rupert Sheldrake, who is now a world famous scientist, author of the

famous book 'A New Science of Life'. My Guru turned ordinary water into Rose Water.

My scientist friend exclaimed ‘amazing!’


Did he add roses?


That actually made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

Simon

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 4:29 PM as a reply to D. Justine J.
I am very interested in whether Justine's experiences match Tarin's, Trent's, and Tommy's (during his long PCE). Justine's seems to have too much affect to be AF.

About Richard changing personality. Maybe he was just testing? Was the purpose of the trip to see whether Justine was AF?

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/13/12 7:59 PM as a reply to Felipe C..
Felipe C.:
Hi, Justine

Your account of experiences with Richard gives the impression of him constantly changing his mood.

For example, you wrote:

On another day Richard showed suddenly an altogether different personality. He seemed to be fully displeased with me and went on a lecture for more than an hour how he is deeply read, and he has a successful website visited by 2000 persons a day. It was an unpleasant experience for me.


How would you interpret those changes? Considering your perception of him during that time, would you say he's actually free of all affective activity (feelings, emotions, moods)? If those changes were not caused by affective activity, then why/how did they manifest?

Thanks for your new book!

EDIT. Strikethroughed a word


Hi Felipe C.,

Richard does not undergo mood-swings. At that time, it was my neophyte state, I had that experience. Though Richard was quite calm and serene, always there was a subtle force-field around him. I called it 'Richard's energy'. Though it was harmless and benign, I was nervous of my corrupt state (transition from i.p. to AF). In 9 days, I felt that change in him only on two occasions, each lasting around 15 to 20 minutes. Otherwise, all along I found him mellow and sweet. There was a sternness in that change. (It was a subjective experience of mine). It seemed to be a strictness to which he himself has submitted his own life. It scared me. Also I found that it was a more benign change, and not rudeness which also made me more perplexed. I assure you Richard is not constantly changing his mood. It will be the very opposite statement of his real condition. If Richard changes something in himself, it must be the exact need of that moment, his perfection and balance unmarred.

Regards,

Justine

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/15/12 2:31 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
Justine had some problems posting this on this forum, so asked me to "do the needful" (gotta' love the King's English) and post it here, so here goes:

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/15/12 7:25 AM as a reply to Daniel M. Ingram.
Daniel M. Ingram:
Justine had some problems posting this on this forum, so asked me to "do the needful" (gotta' love the King's English) and post it here, so here goes:


One of my friends, who assisted me technically, wrote this mail to my greatly admired and respected Daniel sir,a living Buddha, using my name, and again he has faltered in his supply of data, and this won't work. I ask apology with the great genitor of this great DhO, the Universal meeting place. May all auspiciousness happen to you Daniel sir, and your sublime endeavor of DhO. Thanks. Justine

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/15/12 7:54 AM as a reply to D. Justine J.
Justine:

I was hoping you could share your thoughts on the Buddhist teaching Upaya, and possible the role of upaya in your life.

RE: JUSTINE'S MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM
Answer
4/15/12 8:51 AM as a reply to m m a.
m m a:
Justine:

I was hoping you could share your thoughts on the Buddhist teaching Upaya, and possible the role of upaya in your life.


Upaya indicates, 'Expedient Means'. It is prajna, wisdom. Wisdom of Sunyata. Upaya is the activity of prajna. It is also 'karuna'. compassion. Zen koans too are upaya.

In my spiritual years, my 'guru mantra', was my chief upaya. That brought me wealth, health, prosperity etc. But it did not give me the much sought after PEACE. I was not free. I found myself bound by myriad things. Only when I gave up all upaya, by the insightful wisdom of Richard, and became actually free, I had the great sigh of RELIEF!!!!!. IT IS WONDERFUL!

AF is a great thing m m a.

May all auspiciousness come to us all!

Regards,

Justine