black siddhi:
Hi,
Long time practictioner, but first time poster.
Welcome to the DhO.
Thank you. I'll do my best to answer your questions. Hopefully we can learn from eachothers experiences.
What are you a long time practitioner of, bs?
It began with chaos magick, but I was soon called to Sufism. After a series of visions typical of the path my personality and energy changed radically. I trained intensely in reiki and other forms of energy healing which led to me developing my own style of healing in cooperartion with a host of spirits.
I don't want to go too much into my story. I'm posting because I want to reach out to those who may have encountered any trickster spirits of a very heavy vibration. Perhaps you were decieved by this spirit and found yourself in hell. In addition to the agony of the knowledge you now possess you also have crazy powers. Hopefully, you didn't end up in the hospital as I did, but somehow you managed to get on living something like a normal life.
How did you end up in a hospital? What went wrong? What was happening before in your 'longterm' practice all of what you say happened?
What went wrong is that I encountered a maeolevalent spirit of very heavy vibration. Essentially my practice was surrender to the Light. This left me an empty vessel. Additionally, my arrogance and foolishness left me vulnerable to become possessed by this entity and others. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and committed to a mental hospital.
Have you seen the pit of despair?
Describe the 'pit of despair' phenomenologically please. What sensations, mental imagery , thoughts etc were associated with this concept?
Idk. I call it that because a voice once said, "it is a pit of despair, don't you forget it!" as I saw myself above a swirling black blackness. I wrote this about it: http://cllct.com/release/animpossibledarkness
Does infinite evil peer out from behind your eyes?
Describe this phenomenologically? Sensations? mental imagery? Thoughts? Beliefs?
Hmmm... It's like I am empty and have no feelings of my own. I peer into the souls of others and feel their feelings, think their thoughts, live their memories, and while gazing into this mirror I see only the worst of them which in turn they begin to see and believe. I have seen countless souls fall into the blackness, their gaurdian angels leaving them, their faces contorting in agony as they shift from red to black.
At some point in your life your only motiviation was the liberation of all beings from suffering and now you find yourself transformed into a dark wizard?
Are you, bs, a dark wizard? What is a 'dark wizard'? What tradition is this idea based in?
I guess so although if I were it would seem like I should have a will of my own instead of mindlessly giving incarnation to the serpent and his minions. I just picked the word- no tradition. It's kind of a fun way to describe my prediciment.
Yeah, it sucks, but it's fate, I guess, right?
If you can relate to this please send me a message.
I cannot relate to any of this and would be interested to know if anyone does and what practice they are immersed in.
Nick