Thanks for the replies.
A few things keep bugging me.
Can you dispel these and set my mind at ease so I can get back to productive practice when the mind brings these up?
* I settled about a week ago into Kenneth Folk's suggested technique of noting all four foundations of mindfulness, aloud until you see it's not needed, once per second. No longer worrying about 3C's, annata, center point, et al. I've found this to be really good for this time, very useful. And yet my mind keeps going "this isn't it! It won't take you to stream entry!"
* I've noticed that when doing Kenneth's technique, I don't get total coverage of the body when I sit. My mind tends to be drawn most sensations on the legs, bits of the arms, and a lot to chest, where I experience emotions. Head and back and such are infrequent. Is this a problem?
* Is there something wrong with me if I've been going repeatedly to retreats and hitting low equanimity (unknowingly) and not penetrating to stream entry? I have this nagging doubt that it must mean I lack something key that I don't know about, that I should have hit stream entry long ago. Again, if you can dispell this doubt.
* when I'm on the computer, typing or reading, I have real difficulty noting. I'll try to do just awareness of sensations, but I have big gaps (which I beat myself up over). Any advice on this?
Thanks for the advice about valuing concentration. I've never really understood it's true importance, since it often sounds like "access concentration is all that's needed, you'll get jhana access at path." I recently experimented with chilling out in anapana for periods, just focusing on bringing the mind back to the breath, not worrying about the length of time it was there, and found it to be much less straining, so I think I'll do some of that during the 7 days, to rejuvenate as well as build up the skill. I have worn myself out and rejuvenation is going to be key.
The advice about taking breaks and not burning out is so appropriate for me.
Here's my recent experience, perhaps an object lesson to others who follow, who like me, may have a hidden volcano of desire for deliverance just waiting to bust in the 11th nana.
Like many Goenka students, I suspect, due to lack of teacher interviews or any published path during the 10 days, I've been cycling between 10th and 11th for over a year. (Disclaimer: I am a BIG FAN of the Goenka program, this is not bashing on it, just an observation--every program has strengths and weaknesses, and every student has different experiences.) I just thought it was me and tried to deal with my depression as best I could, kept going to retreats where my meditation would be so good (probably because I had the time to get through the tough practice of dukka nanas to equanimity). Then I would come out of retreat, go through a crash, my practice would get hard and I would do it, but it didn't feel like progress and it probably wasn't the way I was practicing. I had no idea that what I was feeling was normal or that in fact it might be a sign of preparation, progress, and insights. I can relate to people like Daniel who are frustrated with the time they spent (needlessly?) in a drawn out first path dark night.
I realized a month ago for certain "the goal was within grasp." I had a period of equaminity, probably not my first, but I recognized it. For a while I didn't even read the details of it. I just enjoyed it, and noticed in walking I'd have a direct experience of my thoughts like "semi-transparent sensations" that kind of stuff. Then...
All my longing and desire to get out of what was at least a year of cycling came up violently. I put myself on a meditation plan, so excited. I started meditating more and saw the state deepen. I could feel my mind getting ready for something (altough I wasn't yet in high equanimity). I kept at it, expecting good things any day. Then I woke up one day and distinctly felt the morning anxiety of reobservation. Fear! Fear! Fear. I came up with another plan that would eliminate all my attachments, worked it, got back to equanimity, had a nice day and a half of that, and fell back to reobservation the next morning. And that was when I started realizing the deepness of my attachments. And I think those are really the only thing holding me back. I've had a very strong in-day and cushion practice, and many retreats. So I'm surrendering to my attachments as we speak. Examining my behavior around meditation for signs of attachment to goal, and seeing a lot of signs to think about and tweak.
I'm currently in Reobservation as I type this, and I'm finally feeling like I understand Dark Night. I have spent the whole morning doing what I think of as "surrender noting" sometimes once every four seconds, sometimes not able to form vocabulary in my mind and just noting "stuck" but really surrendering to stuck. I think I really get a lot of things this morning. I feel like a big weight is lifting off me, and it's not just the normal weight of Dark Night -> Equaminity. I think I'm starting to get it now. Not just the approach to stream entry. But maybe to the whole insight journey. Or maybe bigger than that. The approach to life?