Steph S:
how deeply absorbed into the intellectual activity are you getting? or how much exclusion of "background/other" is there?
Just lately not so much, because I've grown increasingly aware of the anxiety and tension it was producing. I'd been wondering for a while why I always had a headache and my teeth hurt after a long bout of work. Turned out I was clenching my jaw.

Steph S:
this much exclusion doesn't really occur anymore, likely as a result of practice and so i can't get very deeply absorbed into one segregated thing much.
Has this had any impact on your creativity and problem solving abilities? I must admit, I strongly identify with these capabilities as I see them in my own life. Surely a big part of the problem.
Steph S:
what types of activities are you talking about? are these tasks that are enjoyable, not enjoyable, something else? what are the processes associated with it, or learning types & cognitive functions involved? lately i've been trying to look more at sensations along those lines.
I think those would be good questions to hold while I do this work. Thanks. These are very simple arithmetic exercises. In the previous thread, I was doing multiplication of three-digit numbers by two-digit numbers. In this thread, it was counting the seconds in an hour. (Though in that case, I stopped after 12 minutes when I hit Fear.)
Enjoyable/not enjoyable is complicated. Using Math/programming to help someone solve a problem is still a joy, though at the same time the anxiety about making a mistake or running up against something I don't understand and looking like an idiot is extremely uncomfortable.
There's a broad range of processes involved. Many of them run out of habit for no good reason at odd times. For the counting, it's extremely simple of course. I am thinking I should start with something so simple that I can't get caught up in the intellectual content, then expanding the repertoire gradually as my concentration in this domain improves.