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Don't know what to do
Answer
10/12/12 7:27 PM
It took me quite a while, but I think I finally got to the point a while back where I understood how to practice this noting/noticing type of meditation. It seems that when I practice sincerely, and with some energy behind it, I make progress along the axis of insight. I think this is true because it seems clear that awareness increases, more thing are seen clearly for what they are, delusions are seen through. This is progress in terms of general insight into the nature of experience (The 3 characteristics).

It seems that the practice follows down this path further and further. I could imagine an end to this path at some point where all phenomena are seen clearly in this way, which might require a lifetime of work. From my current viewpoint, it is a vast project which will require a tremendous amount of time and energy.

I find this path to be fascinating and somewhat inherently valuable for the insight itself. I also find that over the last few years I have become much more sensitive and aware of the different subtler qualities of experience. I think there is also something somewhat liberating about the freedom of not being bound to certain delusions.

Along with the sensitivity, I've found at times very strong emotional and energetic swings. These are often quite painful, dramatic, intense, irrational, and debilitating - among other things. It seems that the more I practice this meditation, the more unpredictable and erratic the energy can be. Perhaps, to some extent, my response to these various energetic swings also improves with practice. This is beneficial because although it may be more intense or more out of control, at least I am doing less to perpetuate it.

At times, I've had some experiences which match up with some of the maps and some descriptions of what other people experience, but I think mostly my experiences don't seem to follow the patterns, maps, or strata which other people describe. At the least, I am still unable to recognize such patterns after a lot of effort in that pursuit.

My "First Training" life of everyday affairs is quite up in the air. I quit my career two years ago to pursue meditation full time. While at times this seems to fit the model of the Dark Night, it also still seems like the most rational, ethical, and intelligent thing I could have done in the situation.

After exhausting my financial reserves and exploring the option of monkhood, I am now decided that I want to rebuild a householder's life. I experience many cravings when I think about this, and the strongest of those cravings may be for the seemingly "noble" pursuits of a householder's life. For example, the idea of a career which helps change humanity for the better is something I may even crave more than sex. At the same time, a career founded on craving seems uninspiring.

While I enjoy this project of the second and third trainings, it seems that they are very large projects to undertake for my current mental capacity. In other words, it seems it could potentially take years on retreat, or maybe an entire lifetime. And, this time and energy obviously draws from the amount of time and energy that can be dedicated to the first training.

In terms of insight, it is often like walking into the darkness because I don't know what I will encounter until I get there, but it seems like there is probably quite a large territory yet to be explored.

In terms of concentration, I think the most clean and quiet my mind has ever been was after 6 weeks on retreat. It was a wonderful state of clarity and tranquility, with a mind that was able to penetrate easily into any object. It was generally quite pleasant. I currently don't know any way to attain such a state without long retreat.

And then there is Actualism. I remember having great results with this practice when I was really practicing it, but now it seems mostly like a memory. Richard's commentary about Tarin's claim (and retracted claim) to actual freedom, and Tarin's subsequent disappearance from this board have left me somewhat confused, and perhaps also doubting. In some way, it seems like even a larger undertaking, and perhaps even more nebulous in the nature, direction, and length of the path (after all, it is wide and wondrous). I don't know if this practice is compatible with any of the three trainings, or perhaps even all of them. Most practitioners seem to claim that it is compatible with a householder's lifestyle.

At the heart of it, I have trouble remembering why I'm doing any of this. Right now, I think it is mostly motivated by this:
1. Life is some kind of precious and unique opportunity
2. If this is true, then it follows that the best course of action would be to make best use of such a precious opportunity.
3. What is the best way to make use of this opportunity of being alive right now as a human being?

This is a question which I don't have an answer to. (I'm also somewhat uncertain about the question itself.)

I have been suffering a lot lately.

I would love to get any feedback or responses or questions to this post.

Thanks for reading emoticon

- Daniel

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/12/12 9:49 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
I don't have much advice to provide but I share many of those feelings. It's not an easy ride but what else there is to do down here but pay attention? Here is my skype if you want to drop by: jackinbox78

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/12/12 10:14 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:
At the heart of it, I have trouble remembering why I'm doing any of this.


Daniel Johnson:
I have been suffering a lot lately.


I practice so that it reduces suffering in my life which it has to an extremely large extent which I wouldn't have thought to even be possible when I first started (2007).

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/12/12 10:06 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
My advice is to get a teacher if you are serious about getting this done. It can be done, and fairly quickly. Reach out to other people that have been through this as well, it helps tremendously to just talk. I would suggest getting a very pragmatic, practical teacher such as those listed on KFD. That's just my opinion though.

If you would like to talk sometime on Skype, send me a PM.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/12/12 10:12 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Listen to your conscience and don't mix it up with guilt over craving. I would definitely add some cognitive therapy like Focusing by Gendlin to tap into that. Some of the reactivity and niggling conscience pangs should be delved into instead of ignored. Understanding the emotions can right itself because the confusion ends on what you want. Oftentimes meditators block out reasonable and legitimate desires assuming all desires are bad. Good practice of course doesn't block it out. If they are wholesome (practice a job that is helpful) I don't see samsara in that.

Focusing - Six steps

I've never went on a retreat and feel that paying attention should be in any situation otherwise it's impractical for me because it's too sheltered.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/13/12 1:57 AM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
I think you should go ahead and get a career that will help change humanity for the better.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/13/12 3:24 AM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
According to the guru sage known as the rock band Tool in a song called Lateralus:

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.


Forget about the maps. Put your trust in the body let it do what it needs to do and go where it needs to go. Words are not the language of the body. Given that this is difficult to accomplish, go to this link to learn more:

http://www.dharmaocean.org

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/13/12 3:27 AM as a reply to Tom Tom.
I just went the dharmaocean site and found a relevant quote:

What are we trying to do, anyway?

What we are trying to do with our meditation practice is to find out how samsara works. When you see exactly how samsara is operating then right then, at that moment, you are free. What goes on in us that we get so tied up? So let's look right at our most difficult emotions and states of mind. The more turbulent and frantic our mental state is, the more worthwhile it is to look right into it because the more we are likely to find out.

These teachings are updated weekly. Come back next week for another teaching by Reginald A. Ray A. Ray

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/13/12 7:38 AM as a reply to Russell ..
Russell:
My advice is to get a teacher if you are serious about getting this done. It can be done, and fairly quickly. Reach out to other people that have been through this as well, it helps tremendously to just talk. I would suggest getting a very pragmatic, practical teacher such as those listed on KFD. That's just my opinion though.


I'll second this opinion. One downfall of relying on forums for advice is that you can just filter out your preferences, which may not be the best for you. There's a benefit of entrusting some choices to someone else, especially if you're prone to indecision or over-analysis.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/13/12 12:16 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:
1. Life is some kind of precious and unique opportunity
2. If this is true, then it follows that the best course of action would be to make best use of such a precious opportunity.
3. What is the best way to make use of this opportunity of being alive right now as a human being?

This is a question which I don't have an answer to. (I'm also somewhat uncertain about the question itself.)

I have been suffering a lot lately.


Maybe you are considering life as too precious and that is what is causing you a lot of suffering. Try meditating on death instead and before doing any formal sitting meditation, do the yoga asanas as described by Venerable Rahula in the links contained in this thread.

I think this will help alleviate the suffering and that is what is causing you to think about all this stuff.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 4:10 AM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:



And then there is Actualism. I remember having great results with this practice when I was really practicing it, but now it seems mostly like a memory. Richard's commentary about Tarin's claim (and retracted claim) to actual freedom, and Tarin's subsequent disappearance from this board have left me somewhat confused, and perhaps also doubting. In some way, it seems like even a larger undertaking, and perhaps even more nebulous in the nature, direction, and length of the path (after all, it is wide and wondrous). I don't know if this practice is compatible with any of the three trainings, or perhaps even all of them. Most practitioners seem to claim that it is compatible with a householder's lifestyle.
l


If you had great results practicing it, why did you stop?

I don't think Richard's or Tarin's or anyone's reservations about what constitutes AF are reason enough to quit a practice that, in your own words, produced great results. So it might not have been 'pure' AF; so what?

By all means, go ahead and find a career that will lead to the betterment of mankind. But be aware of the fact that you're bound to suffer many disappointments on that road. To persist, you will need a practice that gives you good, beneficial results (joy, clarity, fearlessness etc.) right here right now.

So go back to whatever worked for you best. Moment of tried and tested practice -> beneficial result. Next moment of this practice -> next beneficial result. Moment of thinking how X or Y have reservations about that practice - not a moment of practice -> no beneficial result. Moment of thinking how the end goal of the practice is months, weeks, or aeons away - not a moment of practice -> no beneficial result.

As long as you're actually practicing, you're likely to have beneficial results, which will prove invaluable in your "right career".

As long as you're allowing doubt or uncertainty to deceive you, you're not actually practicing, and so will not have any beneficial results.

Now, if nowadays any attempt at practice seems to fall flat on its face, I agree it'd be best to find a teacher.

I hope this helps address the three points you've raised.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 5:42 AM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Hi Daniel,
nice to read you again. I like Bikku Bodhi's boiled down statement of the path. It goes something like this, "We have only two things to do: Start on the path, and continue on it."

I fall back on this simplicity when the confusion and doubt come to the fore, when I can't remember when the last time was I had a transcendent sit or when "the goal" seems distant or impossible.

I also like the Buddha's cooked down version as to what he taught, namely: "I teach the truth of suffering and how to end it."

If you believe that this is a continuing flow which goes over eons, then take the long view and know that if you are this far along your goal will be reached.

So. I admire your commitment to the dharma. I admire your desire to do good. These are large and valuable things. I'm certain that whatever you choose will only add to your already vast positive karma. Try to enjoy it.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 10:39 AM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:
At the heart of it, I have trouble remembering why I'm doing any of this. Right now, I think it is mostly motivated by this:
1. Life is some kind of precious and unique opportunity
2. If this is true, then it follows that the best course of action would be to make best use of such a precious opportunity.
3. What is the best way to make use of this opportunity of being alive right now as a human being?

This is a question which I don't have an answer to. (I'm also somewhat uncertain about the question itself.)

I have been suffering a lot lately.

I like that way of thinking about it. Personally, I think the answer to #3 is to enjoy being alive as much as humanly possible. To that end, I've found that actualism delivers the goods far better than meditation ever did. I am certainly enjoying myself a lot more now than I was 6 months ago, which is when I managed to drop the whole meditation thing. So, I'll recommend the same to you, and I'll see if I can say anything that might help you with regards to that goal. Obviously it is your choice either way.

Daniel Johnson:
And then there is Actualism. I remember having great results with this practice when I was really practicing it, but now it seems mostly like a memory. Richard's commentary about Tarin's claim (and retracted claim) to actual freedom, and Tarin's subsequent disappearance from this board have left me somewhat confused, and perhaps also doubting.

Indeed, the goings on on the DhO and on the AF yahoo group and Richard's announcement filled me with tremendous doubt, as well. Somehow Tarin's posts were not satisfactory. I sought to resolve my doubts by visiting Richard in person, and I am certainly glad I did. My advice to you is to no longer look to Tarin or Trent or Nikolai or Jill for advice on how to become actually free, but rather, focus on the AFT site, or on the yahoo groups as it seems there might be a few actualists around there.

Daniel Johnson:
In some way, it seems like even a larger undertaking, and perhaps even more nebulous in the nature, direction, and length of the path (after all, it is wide and wondrous).

Ah but it's quite the opposite. The meditative path is quite nebulous (just observe how repeatedly participants will say that it is very difficult to put into words what they are experiencing), the direction is nebulous (how much have the goalposts changed? First it was clear-cut MCTB lays out stream entry, all the sutta paths, 4th path is full enlightenment; then there was this aff business; Nikolai is going further it seems; KFD has another system entirely; etc), and the length is questionable (how many people say they are finally done with nothing left to do and they now enjoy themselves fully without meditating whatsoever?).

Whereas the actualist path is clear (Richard, for example, readily describes it), the direction is clear once you figure out and experience pure intent (just follow that pure intent), and the length... well, true, not many people have done it, but the ones that are done are done (Richard says he experiences himself much the same now as 17 years ago, and he no longer practices or meditates or 'life has become meditation' or anything like that).

Daniel Johnson:
Most practitioners seem to claim that it is compatible with a householder's lifestyle.

I agree.

Daniel Johnson:
I don't know if this practice is compatible with any of the three trainings, or perhaps even all of them.

Here's the most difficult part about undertaking actualism - letting go of spirituality. Indeed, the practice is totally incompatible with any of the three trainings - complete opposites.

Morality is about what is 'right' and 'wrong'. Another explanation would be Sin and what happens when you Sin thanks to the divine law of Karma. Check out this sutta which explains what happens if you are immoral and don't treat the enlightened ones properly (hint: you go to several painful hells). This very notion of 'right' and 'wrong' is dispelled in numerous pages on the AFT site.

Concentration is essentially garnering psychic power with which to enter altered states of consciousness, either temporarily (e.g. jhanas) or permanently (e.g. MCTB paths). As the actualist path is about avoiding altered states of consciousness, concentration is directly antithetical to actualism.

Finally, Insight/Wisdom is a particular way of seeing the world: as empty, not inherently existing, no body existing (see Tommy's latest post about any notion of a body existing being mere 'imputation'), all of it unsatisfying, etc. As this is not seeing the world as it is, but rather, projecting an (impermanent, not-self, dukkha, centerless, agentless, etc.) identity more and more onto the world at large, noticing that projected identity is empty, etc., and mistaking the physical world itself to be so, Insight/Wisdom is nothing but delusion.

Indeed, you won't find mention of anything resembling pure intent or the actual world in any of the three trainings, nor even any of Buddha's teachings.

The tricky part is that it seems to work and it seems to promise peace or something desirable, as you indicate:
Daniel Johnson:
I think this is true because it seems clear that awareness increases, more thing are seen clearly for what they are, delusions are seen through. This is progress in terms of general insight into the nature of experience (The 3 characteristics).
...
It seems that the practice follows down this path further and further. I could imagine an end to this path at some point where all phenomena are seen clearly in this way ...
...
I find this path to be fascinating and somewhat inherently valuable for the insight itself.
...
While at times this seems to fit the model of the Dark Night, it also still seems like the most rational, ethical, and intelligent thing I could have done in the situation.
...
In terms of concentration, I think the most clean and quiet my mind has ever been was after 6 weeks on retreat. It was a wonderful state of clarity and tranquility, with a mind that was able to penetrate easily into any object. It was generally quite pleasant. I currently don't know any way to attain such a state without long retreat.

So, you seem to see some value in it. Notice however that none of your listed benefits actually have anything to do with enjoying being alive or interacting with others or having fun or anything like that; they're all related to seeing the world a particular way, that way of seeing the world being valuable in and of itself, and being tranquil in a way which allowed that seeing to happen more readily. Further, I will point out the price you are paying for the above:
Daniel Johnson:
Along with the sensitivity, I've found at times very strong emotional and energetic swings. These are often quite painful, dramatic, intense, irrational, and debilitating - among other things. It seems that the more I practice this meditation, the more unpredictable and erratic the energy can be. Perhaps, to some extent, my response to these various energetic swings also improves with practice. This is beneficial because although it may be more intense or more out of control, at least I am doing less to perpetuate it.

Far be it from being tranquil all the time, it seems a lot of the time you've actually become more unstable/dramatic/irritable, etc. I can certainly relate to that as the same happened to me. At some point shortly after 'stream entry' I wondered if all I had really succeeded in doing is to become bipolar.

Also notice the way you've tied yourself in a knot, here. You say it's a good thing you're doing less to perpetuate these mood swings, even though they're more intense, yet they are only getting more intense as a result of what you're doing in the first place (meditating). The goal of wanting to see the world a certain way overrides such sensibilities, though, and one feels it is all worth it, in the end (but for what end? one doesn't even know).

Daniel Johnson:
I quit my career two years ago to pursue meditation full time.
...
After exhausting my financial reserves and exploring the option of monkhood

So that intense instability, coupled with the fact that you felt calm after having withdrawn from the world, caused you to cease being able to make a living (quitting your career) and to exhaust all your worldly savings... something which definitely made it more difficult to live in the world, no?

Couple those with the fact that you aren't actually seeing through delusions but forming new ones (the universe is not impermanent, every sensation is not suffering, things do exist), and hardly any case can be made for the spiritual path at all.

(By the way, this is why the meditative path takes so much effort and requires withdrawing from the world - because the universe does indeed exist and all your physical senses are (figuratively) screaming at you that this is the case. You have to constantly deny all that by meditating, which takes a tremendous amount of effort - and that's why you need concentration, so you can garner up the psychic power to do so. The affective/psychic faculty is indeed a powerful one.)

In any case, the choice is yours. I've attempted to make the case pro actualism anti spiritualism but it is up to you to do what you want. Needless to say, if you want to pursue the actualist path, you will have to turn around completely, drop all the spiritual beliefs you've picked up over the years, and begin contemplating what it really means to be alive!

Cheers,
- Claudiu

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 11:22 AM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:
...the idea of a career which helps change humanity for the better is something I may even crave more than sex. At the same time, a career founded on craving seems uninspiring.


I've spent most of my adult life chasing this, I know that craving. Have you considered applying your insight practice to explore its causes and conditions? In my case, it arises from shame, self-hatred and a craving for love and acceptance, all of which made the whole enterprise self-defeating. That's me, though, I'm not saying that's what's happening for anyone else. But I wish for all who suffer this way that they find the love and self-acceptance they seek within themselves.

Daniel Johnson:
I have been suffering a lot lately.

I would love to get any feedback or responses or questions to this post.


I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you find some peace in the midst of it.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 11:32 AM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:
In terms of concentration, I think the most clean and quiet my mind has ever been was after 6 weeks on retreat. It was a wonderful state of clarity and tranquility, with a mind that was able to penetrate easily into any object. It was generally quite pleasant. I currently don't know any way to attain such a state without long retreat.


In this sutta (http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.02.0.than.html), reading from the section "Higher Fruits of the Contemplative Life" to "Abandoning the Hindrances", would you say that something like the spirit of those causes and conditions gradually fell into place after 6 weeks of retreat?

You mentioned taking off two years for meditation practice, but not two years of retreat. I'm curious how you scheduled your time. One possibility is that your particular mental constitution requires long periods of time away from everyday stuff in order to develop these kinds of good mental qualities in a sustainable way. If that were true, it would seem that the meditative path would be very difficult for you, if you pursued it in any other way. And if you wanted to continue to pursue it, the best way might well be to become a monk and / or to focus on long blocks of time spent on retreat. The former isn't the householder's life, obviously, and the latter is probably very hard to integrate into the typical householder's life.

So, if you think this is a good summary of things, and you're not willing or able to consider becoming a monk or doing long meditation retreats, I would counsel trying something different. Either a different style of meditation, a different tradition, a different way of looking at the world and approaching everyday life (perhaps some kind of psychotherapy?), different life circumstances...but, something different that might help you navigate the impasse you're stuck at.

If you think this isn't a good summary of things, I'm not sure I have anything insightful to offer you, sorry.

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 1:07 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:
In terms of insight, it is often like walking into the darkness because I don't know what I will encounter until I get there, but it seems like there is probably quite a large territory yet to be explored.


This is a good description of life in general also. I don't intend to be insensitive, but accept the darkness and enjoy it. Don't take life too serious.

It seems you are demanding too much from yourself. I was in your shoes a few years ago, doubting, suffering, thinking about monkhood. Thinking my practise was not going forward. I went to a monastery in Burma for some time. It was a good experience and I learned a lot, but I also realized that life must be lived 'in the world'. I chose the 'house holder's life' and my meditation practice and my life in general is better than ever.

1. Move focus from yourself by asking yourself what you can do for other people, and then do it. It can be a career or voluntary work, or simply helping out the people close to you.

2. Express your appreciation and contentedness for the good things you do have in your life.

3. You might get better training 'in the world' than in a monastery. Don't underestimate what you can learn from relationships and the boredom of everyday life.

4. Don't seek happiness. Let happiness find you instead (cliché, but true).

5. Spend more time in nature. Enjoy its wonders. Relax.

A word of advice from Thomas Merton: "[...] the idea that one can seriously cultivate his own personal freedom merely by discarding inhibitions and obligations, to live in self-centered spontaneity, results in the complete decay of the true self and of its capacity for freedom".

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 1:44 PM as a reply to Brother Pussycat.
Thanks for all these responses. I was surprised to see so many thoughtful replies. I will take some time to re-read and digest some of this information. emoticon

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 4:17 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Claudiu: your chatter about spirituality reminds me of my own; if you are anything like I was at the time (and your writing sounds quite similar), you are cherry-picking your evidence, or settling for little to no-evidence, to favor the conclusion you already believe in. A little bit more effort and you will acquire the abilities of rationalization and memory selection, and if those settle in place they will work quite well with your present lack of intellectual rigor, and then how could the world possibly avoid fitting into your world-view? I recommend a scientific attitude, I personally find a deeply dogmatic stance in all of your latest posts (and my own similar writings of yore, and in Richard's writings also).

Daniel: Here is something about your experience which I have never heard you clearly say, and yet which I think is true.

I think that your doubts and difficulties (and the reason things seem to take so long and concentration goes nowhere) are simply a matter of you being under an extra-ordinary amount of pain.

I do not know the reason for this pain, maybe it is some sort of energetic malfunctioning (e.g. a channel not properly circulating or something like that)? Maybe it is a subtle form of tension or holding?

We have more-or-less discussed this in the past, particularly how your own experience is in many ways similar to what my own experience was like (up to about two months ago). However I don't recall ever reading you say, unequivocally, that you understand how actually a lot of this questioning is simply a matter of being in pain and reacting to this pain.

If you do agree that this is the source of the problem, perhaps you also think that your success or lack of success with meditation is a concern which should, for the time being, be put aside, and that in exchange you should try to address this problem directly.This would actually be part of the practice, not moving away from it.

I am currently applying several measures to solve what I think is the same problem in myself. They seem to be successful, though it is too early to tell how stable they are.

(1) Instead of vipassana I do Chi-Kung, which for me seems to be more effective at releasing tension, whereas noting seemed to cause a severe build-up of said tension. (2)I have a good paleo diet (3) I do weightlifting (as per your suggestion), and (4) I do accupuncture (which is an amazing experience, but only if you have a good practitioner).

The full-body pain is gone, my mood seems to be fairly balanced (two months with no depression or euphoria, and counting!), my concentration has improved, and I've stopped evangelizing completely! Maybe any or all of these things will work for you, perhaps not at all and you need something entirely different. Who knows? Food for thought...

Either way, good luck with your decision (about which I have no advice to give).

Bruno

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 5:37 PM as a reply to Daniel Johnson.
Daniel Johnson:
It seems that when I practice sincerely, and with some energy behind it, I make progress along the axis of insight. I think this is true because it seems clear that awareness increases, more thing are seen clearly for what they are, delusions are seen through. This is progress in terms of general insight into the nature of experience (The 3 characteristics).


Dan think about this statement, this is true for all undertakings, the sincerity is the energy that moves us in a direction, yet many times our investigations are blunted from the start with the energy mispent on the endless cycle of justifying (monkey mind) our choices.

Daniel Johnson:

It seems that the practice follows down this path further and further. I could imagine an end to this path at some point where all phenomena are seen clearly in this way, which might require a lifetime of work.


There is an end to suffering yet every moment contains the element of new discovery and wonder, a path that has no end

Daniel Johnson:


From my current viewpoint, it is a vast project which will require a tremendous amount of time and energy.


Yet your time and energy is finite and will be spent just the same no matter what choices you make, life is a vast project which will require a tremendous amount of time and energy. You dont have to put anything more into this then to attend to this very moment

Daniel Johnson:

I also find that over the last few years I have become much more sensitive and aware of the different subtler qualities of experience. I think there is also something somewhat liberating about the freedom of not being bound to certain delusions.


To think there is so much more to experience (life) that is missed (even wasted). There is so much more going on that we are ignornant of

Daniel Johnson:

3. What is the best way to make use of this opportunity of being alive right now as a human being?.

There is only one way everything else is a fabrication an internal reality seperate from this moment

RE: Don't know what to do
Answer
10/16/12 5:40 PM as a reply to Bruno Loff.
Bruno Loff:
(3) I do weightlifting (as per your suggestion),
Bruno


I'm reading this book now and highly recommend to anyone if they don't already know about it:

Strength to Awaken

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