| | Hello fellow travelers,
There has been reluctance to post, on my part, because I have purposely not done a lot of reading on the Jhanas...the thought has been "well, the buddha mastered them and found they weren't the "be all, end all", so why bother?"...this WAS the thought I was holding until I went on a monastic retreat this summer. I'll try and keep this brief: A big intention of mine, for going on this retreat, was to step outside my comfort zone, to "push myself"...go on retreat with teachers I wasn't already friends with, surrounded by people I'm not closely connected to, in a place that I haven't been before. It was a week long retreat...started off great, the first day or 2...beautiful landscape, very peaceful, I felt great. Then came the pain, which I haven't experienced this bad on retreat before. Started with my knees and I would escape to a chair for a bit...but then it got worse and I had to sit more and more in a chair, even graduating to standing when the pain or sleepiness arose with ferocity. Doubt and anger were creeping in..."these nuns are sadistic! how can we do silent hour long sits with NO guidance!" "if I can't do this, then all these old people must be really hurting!!" "I can't even do Metta anymore, I will never be able to do it again!"...you catch my drift. We had our exit interview on the second to last day and I think I talked a little bit about what was arising, and then to my luck, before the last sit of the night, I ran into one of the nuns outside the quite zone and we talked about my practice and I had some questions. I described what had been happening for awhile in my practice and it turned out to be access concentration. The nun then told me about picking the one spot in the tip of my nose or nostrils and to just stay on that one spot only. She may have told me more but it's been 6 months and I don't have the greatest memory.
So I go into that last 60 minute sit of the night. I sat on the cushion, in my Burmese pose, and focused just on one inside spot in one nostril and I stayed there like a motherfucker (excuse my french). Soon enough, ALL the hindrances fell away and, with a lot of effort, I stayed on that one spot the whole sit and sat like a ROCK. No pain, no discomfort and, again this was 6 months ago, I think I felt an overwhelming joy washed thru me. It may have been during the sit or it may have just come after the sit. The bell rang at 60 minutes and they called it a night. The rest of the night, I was feeling blissful and full of joy. My original intention for coming on this retreat came to mind and I had total appreciation arise for both the nuns. That night, I slept like a baby.
The next morning, we had the first and only sit of the day. I went right to the single point of focus again, BUT this time it didn't take much effort at all. Zero hindrances, sat like a rock and total euphoria filled me up. The time FLEW by.
OK, so cut to now....I've read up a little on the Jhanas, a little. I have been practicing the single point of focus a lot, but not necessarily in my daily practice. And also not reaching the joy and bliss that I experienced on retreat. Just a couple days ago, I read Lee Brasington's instructions on reaching 1st Jhana and followed his instructions thoroughly. Started with Metta for myself, then went to the single point of concentration. Once the breath started to barely be noticeable, I stayed with that a bit and then switched to the pleasant feeling of the semi smile I had been holding most of the practice. That pleasant feeling built up more and more more, I felt like my smile was bigger than my head and it was smiling on it's own, I didn't will it. The pleasant feeling seemed to take a swirling, flowing motion, taking over my whole head, then my whole body and then it just kept expending outside my body, my house, etc. Not sure how long it was, but I stayed with it til it seemed to just fade a little. Once I felt grounded in my own body, I got off the cushion. It was quite late at night, felt very joyful and content. Slept like a baby.
I tried it again last night, but I was much too tired. I know I don't want to cling to it or try and will it to happen every time. The plan is to start reading up more on it but I'm curious if any of you could verify if it sounded like 1st Jhana or even 2nd Jhana?
With metta- gary |