| | Hi,
It is pretty hard to tell, but taking everything you've said into consideration, I could see these descriptions as going along with A&P events. (In Theravada language, something like: "Knowledge of Arising and Passing away of Phenomena.") Which would typically be followed with a dark night (have you noticed this, or no?).
Note that, even if it is an A&P event, you may find it useful to give the "obviousness" of said realization(s) due intellectual rigor in case what is being realized is not what it at first appeared to be. This is important, as one can unfortunately fall into a trap of backwards rationalizing a belief if one is not careful, using the "credibility" of an event itself to support a belief, rather than approaching both the event and the belief as being separate. It is a matter of one's lack of perspective (we only know our own state of consciousness). Perhaps ask yourself "if I had never read or heard a word about these things, what would I think about what I just experienced?" It is unfortunate, but humans will believe and / or do all manner of wild things if their consciousness has been shifted in some way (even if just temporarily), and they're especially susceptible to the person(s) or text(s) who aided in the shift (and / or sometimes the interpretation simply falls back on some other inherited belief system or other form of influence). I think you would find it salubrious to keep this in mind in all interpretations regarding one's consciousness, regardless of the context (this is especially the case if you have a Buddhist background, as the various states described can be easily misinterpreted as being states that they are not, and even if it is the state one thinks it may be, the importance or relevance of said state is often poorly appraised due to any number of reason.)
With that said, they could also just be "normal" epiphanies, where you realize something that makes you happy and feel that way as a result. I mention this second point because I notice hints of dogma popping up in various places in what you've wrote, and with that in mind, a self fulfilled realization would likely bring comfort and happiness in abundance. For example, one may have read and believed in the idea that "I am nothing, and I am everything" and upon seeing this belief in a new light, comfort, relief, and happiness could be a result. I suspect it would not be enough to call a "state," but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
If you would like to post more information about what you're experiencing, perhaps more could be said. I got off on a bit of a tangent there in the middle, but perhaps you can self diagnose with those words in mind.
Regards, Trent |