Jinxed P:
That's an interesting take C C C...I agree with a lot of what you said, other than this..
it's the fact that relatively selfless guys tend to drift to the top of their chosen careers and thereby attract the status and wealth that goes with that. In other words, material success and high status positions tend to go to those who have (to some degree) let go of their egos. There's a correlation, but the wealth and status is secondary.
I just don't find that to really be the case. I'd say, more likely the opposite. Take a look at someone like Michael Jordan...pathological narcissist who fueled himself by imagining and blowing up slights to his ego..
Donald Trump..pretty big ego...I'm sure you can find counter-examples here and there...but I'd bet that if you looked around at the people at the very top of their industry you would find some monstrous ego's..,
Malcom Gladwell wrote something along the lines of the fact that nearly all really successful people (and his book outlier's is about them) are fueled by some deep seated insecurity that constantly drives them. I would say a deep seated insecurity is the opposite of being ego-less.
This study showed that narcissists make the best leaders..
http://www.forbes.com/sites/frederickallen/2011/11/18/new-study-egomaniacs-make-the-best-leaders/
But I guess what I was really looking for on this thread is personal experience or anecdotes about how going along the path helped/hindered/or had no effect on your attractiveness to the opposite sex.
I see what you're saying. With Jordan and others like him, I expect he switches modes quite a bit. To watch him play, it's poetry in motion. In those moments when he's "on", he is totally lost in the moment and quite free of self-referencing. Watch some youtube clips - you can see it and feel it. I don't think it's possible to play like that without some ability to get in the zone and alter one's consciousness quite dramatically. Instead of the breath, his object of meditation is the movement of the ball and other players around him...and he goes deep! Trump probably gets high doing deals...his object of meditation is the numbers, the play of negotiation and so on.
Now imagine you're Jordan and you've just floated through another game and blitzed the field. The crowd is awestruck, and you yourself are awestruck at what just happened... it was like "you" weren't even there, it was just happening on auto-pilot. The media are swarming around you and every hot, hard bodied woman in the place is dying to just get close to you. Can you imagine the parties afterwards? How difficult would it be in that situation to NOT let your ego run rampant?
So I tend to think that those who reach great heights tend to do this switching thing.... but if you can think of some examples to counter that, I'd be interested to hear.
edit:
I've found the following approach useful: when you're out, do what is fun for you as opposed to what you think is expected of you. There's no special "social role" to play, just be as if you were at home with a close buddy. Be yourself, in other words. Do what feels fun in that moment. The more fun you're having, the more you become one with your "object" of "meditation", and the more you lose yourself in the moment. Before you know it... there they are, chasing you!