| | Hi all,
I've been unsure since reading MCTB about a year ago what "vibrations" actually feel like. I guess at some level all sensations are vibratory, so it's easy to get vague here. But there are basically two classes of sensation that occur to me during practice which I am thinking could be what is meant by "vibrations". One is what Goenka describes as "subtle sensations" that seem to occur for me pretty much continuously even when not meditating, although that was not always the case by any means (described shortly). The other class of sensations is a deep rumbling or shaking that I experience much less often (also described below).
The reason I am seeking clarification is to aid with diagnosing "where I am at" (MCTB uses vibrations as the Gold Standard for this) and to provide another object of meditation other than my current objects (feet while walking, abdomen while sitting) that could be more open and therefore more useful at certain stages of my practice.
Firstly, the "subtle sensations". I first got them on retreat at my local Goenka centre. Only noticeable on my scalp to begin with, although as I practised I began to notice them elsewhere. The retreat ended before I could explore most of the larger blind areas, although I particularly remember late in the retreat paying especially close attention to my thighs, a major blind area at the time. It felt like something was resisting, but I persisted ... persisted ... and suddenly POP! As I scanned from hip to knee, slowly, my mind's eye was assailed by horrifying images of all kinds. Rotting, submerged corpses, suicides, generic "monsters" etc. It was really quite scary. I completed the sit, getting these horrifying visions every time I had to scan through the thighs, and left the hall rather shaken. But thenceforward, my thigh area was no longer blind (and thankfully the fearful images have not reoccurred with such intensity). It wasn't until after retreat that I read other people's descriptions of the insight stage Fear.
Then about a week into a more recent retreat I suddenly realised that I could now detect those little "subtle sensations" anywhere on my body, pretty much at will. I didn't notice when this began to be possible for me, there was no fanfare. Simply one moment it was hit and miss, the next moment my body was made of a zillion tiny particles and there were no blind areas to be found.
Nowadays I find that this awareness waxes and wanes a little, but is pretty much as on that last retreat: zillions of little bubbles bursting throughout the surface and depth of my body, even when not practising. On the bus, at work, cooking dinner etc.
However, I'm not sure I'd describe them as "vibrations" particularly, because I can't detect any kind of cycle-rate (Hz) to them. They seem to be happening all over, all the time and I have not been able to count the speed of a single bubble arising and passing. They also do move in waves of intensity that shift around my body, but those waves move very slowly, migrating down an arm over the course of five-ten seconds for example.
The other class of sensations that occur and could perhaps be vibrations is a shaking or rumbling type feeling that I get in various parts of my body. This one is a lot less widespread, usually occurring in my chest, arm or leg, and feels as though there were a diesel engine juddering away in the affected area. On retreat this shaking has at times become so pronounced that I cannot continue walking meditation and must simply stand waiting for them to subside. I can detect a cycle-rate for these, but it is always within a narrow 4-8Hz range. This shaking/juddering also doesn't occur very often and the cycle-rate doesn't change with either the breath or the insight stage I may be experiencing.
Any thoughts on whether either of these are/are not "vibrations"?
Jules |