In my life the most clear 'gains' have been in my relationships with people.
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Additionally I am genuinely caring for his wellbeing which is quite liberating. I am also way more patient with my mother (...)
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When this goalless observation is more continuous life is more joyful and peaceful. I care about other people and whatever I am trying to do is usually done better. When it is absent things are simply nuts, I am really getting sick of the judgment and seeking and distraction and aversion.
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A Joko Beck metaphor seems to fit this practice. Basically she says that normally we are (normally) like ice cubes trying to freeze ourselves so cold that when we slam into other ice cubes they shatter before we do. Practice is about melting ourselves into puddles of water through the fire of attention. We become formless, thus unharmable and we can start melting those around us. So as always what I really have to do is just practice, which is sometimes alot harder than talking about just practicing but infinitely more rewarding.
Comments welcome... thanks for reading.
Thanks for writing.
In the factors of enlightenment, I think metta is a huge precursor to passaddhi (relaxation or tranquility), and viriya (energy) and (piti) joy. These, in turn, help the mind turn well to concentration practices.
So, for me, I could not have a calm mind until I started having a friendly mind. That meant I needed friendly regard for myself and then I could have it for others, even those I would judge harshly before. So one "trick" I use to use when listening to someone speak if I can see judgement or superior regard coming up was to hear their speech as if it were exactly my own. It really changed how I heard what they said. How I hear sometimes effects what is said as we give rise to "contingent identities" when we interact; this is the interpersonal phrasing for "dependent origination".
So I think this metta (etymology: mitto: friend; so "friendliness" [1]) practice can grow greatly as you re-enter school and will in time also help the mind concentrate. For one, if will not have all those antagonisms we experience when judging/feeling judged.
Personal aside, C. Joko Beck was a great help to me in college

Best wishes and nice to see your experience again.
Katy
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[1] By this method, Ananda it may be understood how the entire holy life is good friendship, good companionship, good comradeship." Samyutta Nikaya ,p. 1524