Hello all, I am, ha ha how to put it? The one called Stephanie.

Really Just Steph is cool

Samsara is an ouroboros. The serpent that eats itself. I'm sorry this is so long, I am drowning in a sea of self doubt. Thank you for offerring help
Thank you for taking the time to read over/ address my concerns. I was a pretty devout atheist my whole life. This realization of multi dimensional beings threw me for quite a loop, and the fact that we are noting but enegry trans to flesh, there is an afterlife, and i put myself here...for something. WOW. I wont go into detail about how I came to this conclusion here, but of course it has come from intensive study and meditation. I attend Tara Puga weekly, but have no personal guru.
Everything is based in superstition, collective belief, and inference.
Ive come to, I hope an accurate understanding of what is taught, but Im still afflicted with doubt. Samsara is here and will continue to be because of collective projection, meaning if even one person, or being believes it, Samsara will exist. When things are not paid any awareness, by anyone they no longer exist, That we are really a dream" of sorts, reality being a collective belief in its existence, perpetuated by further by further belief. When we meditate and notice our feelings, and deduce them with dependant origination, we find that they are not even ours, but habits from the belief that it exists in others,and from reincarnation, or string or m theory if you want to go that deep, or the bodies belief, even if it is the bodies pain, it is not our pain, and after initial reaction to the pain, further delving into it makes it worse, because its an impression rather than fact.The further we delve into the body the more we realize that this body is not us, but controlled by our awareness of it.
I am currently under the impression that samsara is a real mutli dimensional physical Matrix if you would. As we are just spinning energy within spinning atoms, the idea of flesh is illusory as it is based on congregates of energy while also being flesh and blood. We all descend from this, awareness or nirvana and if you want to call it god, we are that already, but confused and ignorant because of being in the land of confusion. That every instance that happens to you can be Dharma, life and its instances are not coincidence.
Since we exist in waves time isn't linear,but almost cylindrical? and the matrix can be manipulated such as the force in star wars.We manifest our destiny by projecting our energy, almost like an drug addict, all humans project their own faults on others and really see them that way! The same way our collective awareness of objects is the continual perception of these objects.
Furthermore the universe and everything in it all around us is this force, the source of awareness. There is no need for a creator god because the cycle is endless and beginning-less. There doesn't have to be a beginning to it, it just is the way of Karma. we really are already Buddhas.
Am i missing something here? I also with this realization, and every time something is awakened if you would, the most amazing feeling of love and harmony in the world, and it lasts until i let a human affect me.