Okay, so following instructions on here I started investigating space and the sense of the distance between subject and object. This led to some cool stuff happening. Like A&P experiences that filled the whole area of space around my body with fractally cascading explosions. For a while, I began to perceive how my mind was constantly shooting out little lines of mental sensation between my body and anything else in order to create a sense of separateness. Eventually, I was able to dissolve these in real time in daily life. After this, whenever I fully dissolve an object into impermanence it expands beyond my body to fill the whole space bubble around me, which is pretty interesting. Two nights ago, I did the taste of chocolate, and it became a whole orbital solar system of chocolate taste sensations. Very unusual!
Then I started becoming aware of a basic structure of centre-periphery. I started seeing how this basic structure permeates all my experiences. It’s like there’s a little ball in the middle orbited by a big sphere or torus. I took up this structure as a vipassana object, and it revealed impermanence by collapsing in on itself. The first few times that the periphery collapsed in on the center, I just went straight into fruition and didn’t see what happened next. However, eventually, I was able to watch how the moment the periphery got too close to the centre, then the centre expanded to become a new periphery. It was a switch that happened very fast. I started noticing how every time I’d try to look at the centre in order to investigate the observer, then the centre just expanded to become the periphery, but now a new centre was there. I guess this illustrates the idea that trying to see the observe is a game of hide and seek.
So last night I managed to let the switch between centre and periphery oscillate back and forth really fast with strong mindfulness so that the whole structure dissolved into impermanence. It felt like a big a insight, and I took it through to a very satisfying fruition. However, this leaves me with the question of what next? I suppose there is a sense of being an observer standing outside of the whole orbital system and watching it collapse and expand, so I’m trying to bring attention to that. It sometimes feels like it’s
turtles all the way down, which is frustrating! I’ll also just practice to get up to speed on the centre-periphery dissolution to be able to do it in real time in daily life. But if any of you out there have any other insights or subtle tweaks that might help, I’d love to hear them!
Avi