T DC:
Does this relate to meditation, or dharma practice? I don't mean to be rude. What I mean is, I'm assuming this has something to do with the path, as you are posting it on a meditation forum. If you post a bit more about how this relates to practice, it might be easier for people, myself included, to give you advice on your situation.
Just by reading your post I have a hard time understanding what you are experiencing. How much do you meditate? Did this lack of drive begin after you started meditating, as in a resulting effect?
One thing I think of is that sometimes when focused on the meditative path, events in life, like sports or interaction with people, can seem meaningless, and bland or unfulfilling compared to trying to meditate and get to the bottom of delusion and suffering. At these times the best course of action may to try an sit it out, so to speak (ha sit = meditate, get it?!). However it also may be a different issue requiring a different antidote. Does this help, or resonate?
Anyhow, cheers!
Hi, no offense taken. When I said "sit at times thinking" I meant meditating, usually a couple of times every day (about 45 minutes per session). I've been meditating primarily by using the simple directions from Adyashanti (direct-path teacher) to "let everything be as it is". I also try to avoid any technique as much as possible, only when I find my mind getting caught up in thoughts I use focus on breathing as a way to stay grounded. I also inquiry about questions like "What is most important?" and "What do I really really want?".
I've felt stuck in this place of as you said, finding events in life to be unfulfilling. It's been like this for a long time, even before I started meditating. My primary concern has been to find happiness but for a couple of months now I've found myself prioritizing truth, honesty, integrity more - it felt very much like my spiritual search has deepened and matured.
The feeling of finding life to be unfulfilling used to be depressing but the feeling has changed to a more easy attitude, I don't feel burdened by it as I used to. Its not a depression but its does seems like something I need to "resolve" as just lying/sitting around with nothing to move me in life feels unsatisfying.
I try to sit it out. I've had deep relaxing experiences when meditating in the past, but right now the experience in my meditating is that I get to a place when I feel a lot of facial tension and slight physical discomfort (I get to that place within a few minutes in meditating), it feels like being up against a wall.. usually what happens is that I try to let go, to let the physical discomfort be, and sometimes the feeling dissipates only to return a few moments later, after this goes on for a while I feel like I'm just sitting feeling pain and after a while it gets tiresome and I "shake it off" so to speak and stop meditating. I also feel like somehow the physical tension is not something that can be relaxed (like other muscle tensions that can be let go off), its more like if you had a thorn in your finger, no amount of meditating can make it disappear - its just there causing pain.
I can't think of anything but to keep sitting and see if any resolution comes.