
At 60, I've learned one thing: time is precious. Wasting it is something I no longer have the privelege of doing. When one is in their 30's, 40's and even 50's, the end seems so far off. At 60, you stare at it every waking moment. I have an urgency with every breath. If I was in my 40's or even 50's I might stay and enjoy the combate of defending my position. How much fun is that!
but, as with many pleasures as you get older, you have to let them go. I've enjoyed our conversation, and I will keep you in my mind in my next meditation, wishing you find happiness, joy, and above all, certainity in the path you choose.
Edited to add: I have learned one thing on this earth. I will pass it on to you, in the hopes it helps you:
There is only one teacher: The Buddha,
There is only one teaching: The Pali Canon
all the rest, the mappings, the levels of attainment, are nothing more than a distraction.
Take refuge in the Buddha, Take refuge in the dhamma outlined so clearly in the Pali canon and you will find certainty, peace, and above all happiness in this life and the life to come.