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Practice Log toward vanishing the mind

Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
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14-10-1 上午6:31
Brief bio:
  • This path started last lifetime:  A small time occultist and a small time double agent -- was caught and put in a mental facility where Ron Hubbard -- whom I had previously known -- visited and helped me do a mental exercise which caused me to exteriorize from my body (he was good at this).  
  • However I was still under psych drugs and experiments and he told me to look him up when I got out of there.  I was then worked on and sent to Yugoslavia to yell something at Tito, and was mercifully shot in the head for it (I actually met the reincarnated Tito again and he immediately took a dislike to me).  
  • Upon leaving the body went to Philadelphia where Ron was giving one of his famous lectures.  It was a time in his research into the mind and spirit when he was still holding onto some ideals and very very hopeful about developing practices and processes that would enable a person to unravel the basic postulates that form this universe mindset.  I.E., Nirvana, or what he called "Native State". 
  • Attempted to get born into his family but detected drugs and alcohol -- found other parents and forced myself into their lives (for which I paid - never use force).  
  • Being a compulsive being  it took me another 38 years before I rudely woke up and went looking for him again.  He was not around and I read everything he wrote and hung around with my friends in that Church setting until I discovered the internet and people who had left the Church but still practicing in what they call "The Freezone".  
  • There I received my first "auditing" which was a direct look at my history as a being all the way to the incident of separation from the One.
  • So, seeing through auditing what patterns of behavior I had been up to I realized the game was up -- now to find the way to this elusive oneness of Nirvana (everyone said it was not possible through their particular practice -- everyone!).  
  • I kept self-enquiring about "Native State" which led to Dennis H. Stephens.  He claimed to have developed practices where I could take apart this universe mindset all neat and clean.   I have yet to prove him 100% right but I'm getting a taste of it and that spurs me on.   I enter this phase of life with joy and immense gratitude and thankfulness.  And sleeves rolled up.
  •  Recap of Early Years of Search:
  • First Devotional Christianity as a teen (but not much meditation).   Learned the redeeming value of sincere praise and thankfulness.  Still needed "my own personal god" and still trending south.
  • Exploration into Yoga in my late teens got me to demand processes and techniques beyond those of Devotional Christianity (still no meditation).  
  • Marriage, etc/ put an end to those bright beginnings.
  • Travelled extensively in my late 30's asking, "what is the mind?"  Started to spontaneously see past existences, whether mine or another's I don't know.  Read Carl Jung.
  • Found Ron Hubbard's writings and lectures, age 40, and read all his understandings of the mind and his processes and wanted his "carrot" which he called "Native State"   That become my driver.
  • Discovered Lester Levenson's "Sedona Method" and made some headway with that, especially the opposing goals of "Separation/Oneness".
  • First experience of a state of bliss using Sedona Method.
  • Studied Ramana Maharshi, including a shaman session to contact him and ask him personally exactly what process or practice did he do to put an end to his reincarnational cycle?  
  • Got a spine reading Nisargadatta, but not a clue about his specific practices.
  • Freaked out doing Vipassana -- mind still too noisy, however a great diagnostic tool  :-)  
  • Went to "Glory" doing Advaita self-enquiry -- everyone should have a taste of that wordless state at least once so they know for "What" they are working to disassociate themselves from their lower mind.
  • Fulfilling the "Fourth Noble Truth", I at last found the best practices for me for now in the writeup of Dennis H. Stephens (Lao Tzu's finished work imho), called "The Resolution of Mind, a Games Manual".  He promises his practices will vanish the mind -- eternal bliss and oneness.  They are simple, but not easy for chattery minds, minds that like to make things complicated.
  •  Adapting Dennis' recommended processes to my own mental case I got rid of my compulsive need for "my own personal god" and some other compulsions to achieve a more or less conservative state of equanimity.  
  • More importantly I am exercising myself by using his clearing techniques to "turn the other cheek", no longer compulsively contentious and giving others game and seeking vengeance. 
  • I teamed up with another who is likewise using Dennis' practices and we are always scanning the internet to understand other clearing techniques.  
  • We have a small practice as psyche-therapists using the approaches recommended by Mr. Stephens.  My clearing partner, with great and unusual skill, helped me quiet down enough to begin my solo practice with some regularity.
  • It typically takes me 4 hours a day to get through my daily practices, so being semi-retired is a blessing.  
  • I am not in a masterful condition with my practice and it is being tweaked as needed to stay focused.
  • I have nulled the thirst for particular sensations which helps me be more dedicated/disciplined.
  • I am in a very early stage of quieting the mind and have a high affinity for "Metta" -- I did have lifetimes as a Buddhist.  
  • Even at this early stage I have become much more complementary and flexible in my interactions with others.  I have fewer compulsions to butt heads with others' compulsions. I am getting wise to the games people play with others and with their own minds.  The other being is becoming more and more important than any of my sacred cows. 
  • I turned towards the Tao Te Ching as a great descriptor of what a person is like when freed from compulsions.
  • My Core Practice is "Direct Looking" for the purpose of exercising myself to consciously do what the mind does unbidden: bringing incidents from the past into the present and putting them back into the past again.  I am still weak-kneed at this and will only look at the events of the day.   
  • To keep from crashing or experiencing "The Dark Night" I always satiate with "havingness" processes, and I never go looking in the mind or the brain for answers.  I am not my mind, nevertheless I give the mind its due respect for now until I am completely dis-identified from thoughts/emotions/phenomenon. The only time my practice crashes is when I've had an upset with my partner or someone else and I sulk, however, even this pattern is showing small improvements.
  • Another technique I am using is called "Repeater Technique" and I employ that when I find I am uncomfortable with someone.  For example, "I must know that person/I must not know that person" and I repeat the first part, "I must know (that person)" until there is no more phenomenon, and then repeat its opposite until good results.  I also use "I must be known by that person/I must not be known by that person".  
  • I hold these goals (To Know and to Be Known and their negatives) to be the first postulates that formed this universal mindset. There are many possible combinations of those four postulates when interacting with others and it is very well represented by the Tao symbol.  
  • I believe in changing myself first and in changing the world by staying home and working on my own case, or "Dukkha".
  • I avidly wish to know what other practicers are doing and what results they are getting.  I saw Daniel Ingram on BATGAP and liked his emphasis on practice and his attempts to map a "way".  All my former Scio buddies have given up on "Native State" and are merely looking to re-hab themselves so that they can play a better game.   Been there, done that, yaaawwwn...they all just keep coming back, lifetime after lifetime.
  • May we never repeat again  :-)

Thank you for providing the space for these types of threads.   By going somewhat public with my work I feel a sense of accountability and expect that it will help me be more consistent in this activity.  "To Know and To Be Known" is the best game in this universe.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-9 下午4:04 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Off to a slow start, that's okay 'cuz August calls me outdoors.

Metta:

took up my partner who was in brief turmoil and kept working him around me 6-directions until something lifted and coinkidinkally he came around.   We both suffered a brief healing crises after the resolution of the subject of the turmoil.  [Reference:  Hamer German New Medicine]

This has been ongoing every day as new views and energies come up.    He tells me frequently how much more complementary I am with him -- after I worked for 3 years to sacrifice my sacred cows  :-))

Today processed through the pain from the unusual physical labor.   Kept repeating, "pain hurts" until the two were no longer connected.   Pain does not have to "hurt".

I am working my way through the other "Practice Logs".

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-11 上午3:00 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Hi Colleen,
its nice to read your intro here.  i too find the tao te ching an absolutely excellent descriptor of the goal.  i particularly like a translation by a russian mystic who puports to be a sort of "oversoul" thingy.  one of my earliest insights that these practices from different cultures are all ponting toward the same things came when i read an intro to the "Upanishads" which correlated deeply with the tao te ching.

the past life thing is tough for me to pin down in practice.  i was doing past life regression several years ago and had some pretty profound experiences which could have been actual past lives , but what does that really mean? i don't know.

when i sit to meditate and move through the different layers of mind i tend to do a big yawn at the stage we call here the A&P, or arising and passing away.  it is less predominant now than when it first appeared as a notable recurring event in my practice.

please keep posting

tom

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-12 下午3:09 回复tom moylan。
tom moylan:
Hi Colleen,
its nice to read your intro here.  i too find the tao te ching an absolutely excellent descriptor of the goal.  i particularly like a translation by a russian mystic who puports to be a sort of "oversoul" thingy.  one of my earliest insights that these practices from different cultures are all ponting toward the same things came when i read an intro to the "Upanishads" which correlated deeply with the tao te ching.

the past life thing is tough for me to pin down in practice.  i was doing past life regression several years ago and had some pretty profound experiences which could have been actual past lives , but what does that really mean? i don't know.

when i sit to meditate and move through the different layers of mind i tend to do a big yawn at the stage we call here the A&P, or arising and passing away.  it is less predominant now than when it first appeared as a notable recurring event in my practice.

please keep posting

tom
Hello, Tom, kind regards, and thank you for taking an interest.   Do you refer to the Russian Nikolenko who did a translation?   

Re past lives I thought seriously about doing a survey on this forum of those who do connect with past lives and how they "process" through them.   My understanding is that it was a turning point for the Buddha to allow his past lives to pass before him until he was free of all compulsions (or so he thought).

Shouldn't we be able to view our whole experience as a being as standard memory -- without any mental turmoil or resistance?

Perhaps because I practice as a psyche-therapist I have an advantage to meet with people for whom there is still great importance attached to experiences in other existences.   As to whether it is "real" or not, well one client ran a lifetime that was impressed upon him which held many importances for him and we handled it the same way we handled authentic past existences.  So the question is not really whether it is real or not since we are only looking for what comes up when we focus on the goal set of "to eat/to not eat" (my niche).   Whatever comes up is then valid.  Most people do well to stick with incidents this life until they start going very early into childhood and then some of last life will bleed over occasionally.    

Personally I had about two years of looking at my history as a being right up to the point of the initial separation.  Quite educational, and entertaining, but a slow road to nirvana compared to how I'm working now with basic goal sets.  Perhaps that's why it is natural for me to be able to scan many different existences when I focus on a particular goal set.  For example, "to love/to be loved" (another sensation compulsion).

For example, if "Get the idea of being forced to eat" lands the person in last lifetime, that's okay too as long as we are nulling or erasing the eating sensation compulsion.   Each basic goal has its own sensation.  I think the Buddha would like this more direct and thorough approach.

It is interesting to find out that for you the yawns did subside.   That could be taken two ways:  for example a weightlifter stops getting sore muscles and then changes up the routine in order to "feel the burn"; or it is a lull in the spiral of the gains we make.  So it might be a good thing if the yawns do turn on again at a higher level.; ... or we may never yawn again  :-)

Peace to you,
colleen

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-12 下午5:37 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Hey Colleen,

Who is Rob Hubbard? A link to free dharma material is always great!

I'm glad you are open about past lives, I wish more practitioners were open to exploring or discussing this aspect of practice. I do understand why "psychic powers" are somewhat frowned upon, though, because they can be a distractor when it comes to insight. I personally know of one past life of mine, including a specific name and date, which was creepy at the time. I have a few others I suspect might be past lives, but it's hard to say for certain.

Look at Robert Monroe's books, his stuff is great for understanding past lives and why we incarnate. He was an atheist when he started having spontaneous OBEs, so he had to come up with his own framework. It's refershing to read about this topic without having to decode another culture or language.

What are your thoughts on future lives?

Eric

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-12 下午5:43 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Metta practice, continued:

"80% of success is showing up"   Woody Allen

"A controlling person"  + 6-directions all around me repeatedly until no more phenomenon plus some self-realizations filtered in.   How does a controlling person seem to me now?   Okay.  My own internal argument of "must be controlled/must not be controlled" lessened.  

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-12 下午6:13 回复Eric M W。
Eric M W:
Hey Colleen,

Who is Rob Hubbard? A link to free dharma material is always great!

I'm glad you are open about past lives, I wish more practitioners were open to exploring or discussing this aspect of practice. I do understand why "psychic powers" are somewhat frowned upon, though, because they can be a distractor when it comes to insight. I personally know of one past life of mine, including a specific name and date, which was creepy at the time. I have a few others I suspect might be past lives, but it's hard to say for certain.

Look at Robert Monroe's books, his stuff is great for understanding past lives and why we incarnate. He was an atheist when he started having spontaneous OBEs, so he had to come up with his own framework. It's refershing to read about this topic without having to decode another culture or language.

What are your thoughts on future lives?

Eric

Hello, Eric, kind regards.   Do you have a practice log?   I have been unusually busy outdoors and mean to read all the practice logs.

"Rob Hubbard" is the infamous "Ron Hubbard", founder of Scientology and writer of books on the mind, including Dianetics.  I met him at the end of my last life and he made an impression on me and so I meant to look him up again this life -- unfortunately he had already passed but I read many of his technical treatise's on the mind and also signed up for about 2 years of "auditing" to discover many past lives -- this was done outside the church.

How did you come to find out the specifics of that past life?

Getting into past lifes can be a way to boost ego, which is going in the wrong direction.   It can also be educational if viewed sequentially as far back as one can go, which is what I did.   But for Nirvana -- incidents should only come up as a result of exploring and nulling or erasing compulsions which can be arranged as a scale of goals with the highest being "To Know/To be Known" and going down from there.  

I specialize in eating compulsions -- "must eat/must not eat" and attendant sensations and so most of the incidents my clients come up with are related to eating or drinking, and most of the time in this life first of all.

Buddha did feel the bite of his own past incidents and he was successful in putting them out of the now and back into the past where they belong without doing a "oh, I must not know about that..."    Why should any of our past be hidden from us?

At this stage of my own learning curve I can't make progress without encountering incidents that are goals related.  I take whatever the mind gives me.

I did read Robert Munro in the late 70's and it did stir up something in me, even though I was largely asleep and mostly seeking phenomenon, or "siddhis".   

There is really nothing mysterious about being psychic or having abilities that are considered beyond human.   A cat can make you want to feed it and make you think it is your own idea because no one told it not to do that.  As we make progress towards Nirvana the limiters start to come off, but at the same time we are becoming wiser about games and would think twice about getting back into the mire.

For example, I spent many lifetimes doing yogic flying but look at me now, worse than before, still a compulsive games player.  I've changed my tact and am gaining siddhis by removing compulsions first, and then I might find more interesting things to do than flying around the neighborhood, scaring people.   :-))

I've seen "futures", to answer your question, but I realize they are mutable, but one can look at one's most probable future and analyze it for the compulsions in it and then improve on it by nulling those compulsions in present time.

Always ask for the best, intend it, process out any counter-intentions and how can you go wrong doing that?

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-12 下午6:33 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
I stumbled into the past life while doing some self-hypnosis with the intention of seeing my past lives. I basically visualized a big white screen and asked to see a past life play out on it. There were some interesting scenes but nothing concrete, and I was getting frustrated. I firmly asked to see a past life that can be verified and I saw an image of a military uniform and got a very specific and unusual name. I did some research and found the person with that name, a military officer in the American Civil War. Very odd, but very interesting.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
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14-8-12 下午6:55 回复Eric M W。
Sounds like you were really resolved to know about a past life.  Where do you go from here?

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-12 下午7:04 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Right now my priority is vipassana as described in MCTB. I crossed the Arising and Passing Away two years ago without knowing what happened (vivid, colorful dream with mythic theme and explosions of consciousness) and found myself having a very difficult time in the Dark Night. Of course, I didn't know what was going on, so that was most of the problem. I've been a Dark Night yogi for this whole time and am gunning for stream entry. I've lost all siddhis I had before insight practice. Perhaps after stream entry I will be able to experiment with them some more.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
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14-8-12 下午7:20 回复Eric M W。
I love the hard simplicity of Vipassana.   Am embarrassed to admit that I am not yet familiar with the terminology used here.  Is there a glossary on this site?

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-12 下午8:45 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
I don't believe so, the best way to get to know the terms used on this site is to read MCTB. Part III is where all the states and stages are named and explained.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
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14-8-13 下午1:08 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Metta Practice 13Aug14:  A Mother


All around me and in 6-directions around me.   I've all this life had an uncomfortable fixation on my mother which extended out to other motherly types.  While doing this practice I came into the laughter of rejection of the whole idea of spiritual beings needing to get fixated on mothers and then recalled the earlier games we played which were more like brotherhoods or fellowships and were a lot more fun and how we would have thought this whole parent and child game was degrading compared to what flights of fancy we could get up to as a democratic group.  I specifically recall us playing at being Hindu gods and godesses -- along that ilk.  At one point, as the games got tighter and tighter, but not yet physical, I played at being a Saraswati.  I think the fellows in my group may have taken turns playing the various roles.

How does a Mother seem to me now?   Rather anachronistic for myself personally, not planning on playing this game again -- of being human.  It's a game and I have no judgment about it and can be complementary with it; in other words, I could play that game, but don't feel I have to anymore.  I'm still laughing at myself for getting so wound up all this life.   The concept no doubt started out light and playful and due to needing to explore all the possibilities it of course became more and more compulsive and serious.  You might say it is written into the script -- or matrix of the over-arching goal "To Know".

When we were finished with a particular scenario we would "ascend" from our costumes and the playing field we created, rise up, and we looked like translucent bowling pins (honestly) and we excitedly debriefed each other about the last game we played and and excitedly planning the next one. 

How does that fixation on Mothers seem to me now?   Gone as of now.  

For balance I put all around me a mother creating a child.

"To Create/to be created"

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-13 下午2:37 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Colleen Karalee Peltomaa:
 Is there a glossary on this site?


Somewhat
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/dharma-wiki/-/wiki/Main/DhO+Dictionary

http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/3906614

and the best is using google ----> site:www.dharmaoverground.org wordtosearchfor

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-13 下午3:55 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
I'm diggin' the eclectism you've got going.

IIRC dianetics was based on general semantics and cybernetics. I actually just posted a thread on general semantics here. And, as I understand it, L. Ron Hubbard ripped off Jack Parsons, who was a very fascinating Thelemite rocket scientist.

Speaking of Thelema.... Crowley did his own Tao Te Ching translation, with a few annotations. I think you might find it interesting.

Anyway, good luck on the path

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-14 下午9:44 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Metta Practice:   A Child Molester   14Aug14

"Enter a session positive and remain passive"  Dennis H. Stephens

6-directions, all around me 360 degrees. 
- Yawns, scenes, thoughts, emotions, efforts  ("rising and falling")
 
Goal set:  "Must sex/must not sex"
-  Covert game strategies



Getting late ... to be continued until resolved.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-15 下午2:07 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Metta Practice:  A Child Molester (Continued)  15Aug14

"Observe a being's turmoil and contemplate their return."   Tao Te Ching


Continued rising and falling of thoughts/emotions/efforts, etc.

At today's endpoint, while once again putting that ID all around me I suddenly felt like Neo in "The Matrix" where he saw his enemy as all 1's and 0's.    I saw that ID as a construct of purposely opposing goal sets necessary for the creation of a sensation peculiar to that goal set and beings can play with that and they can get fixated into that and it can be a very complicated game.

How does a child molester seem to you now?  Better but not completely resolved methinks.

Making the determination to remain passive and not flinch at whatever came up was the key to the success of this particular metta session.  Being willing to know anything.

I am taking the advice of another practitioner and am doing Metta practice also on a person or archetype I have more affinity for.

Metta Practice:   A Meditator

A person who allows their mind to rise and fall as the creator/observer of it.

- gratitude, non-compulsive, not seeking sensation, self-realizing

- not attached to thought/emotion/effort

- passively sitting through the firestorm of the miind; alert to the unconsciousness of the mind

- pulling the thread of the mind until it totally unravels

End of Session, thank you.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-17 下午12:06 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Metta Practice 17Aug14

Sometimes I value a thing more than life itself and I have spent my childhood immersed in books, thus today it is "A Book"  I found that this practice also helps to curb my compulsive create.   This is probably a lead-in to doing a metta practice on the archetype of "The Writer".

- a jillion ideas must have passed by me while doing this -- compulsively creating

How does books seem to you now?  It's okay if they are just what they are.   A bit amused by it all.  Compulsive create quieted.



For balance I visualize another person creating books which are important to me.

Immense gratitude for all creation and for the life that creates it.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
答复
14-8-18 下午4:06 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Metta Practice  18Aug14

Grape Arbor

Note:   I know this does not make sense but I saw that I have some aesthetic/creative compulsions and that put me into a games condition with my partner, and instead of doing Metta re my partner, I focused on the object of the provocation.

- yawns, begin to go unconscious and continue through it, more bigger yawns, many creative ideas pop up, feeling the neediness of it, starting to let it go and realizations of taking a higher viewpoint.

How does a grape arbor seem to you now?   Can have it or not, no argument with partner.



For balance I have my partner create something: it's my dream and I can have him create a grape arbor  :-))

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
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14-8-20 上午1:51 回复Colleen Karalee Peltomaa。
Metta Practice 19Aug14

Auntie

Conflict between must know/must be known -- on both sides.
-  emotions/feelings/somatics turning on and then off

No more change, end of session

How does Auntie seem to you now?   More like me learning about me on a via   Amused.