Adam . .:
Richard:
I appreciate the points about both conventional and unconventional methods. I think I am especially lacking in the dopamine and serotonin, doing alright in oxytocin though not great, and probably doing the best in endorphins.
It is so hard for me to get motivated to work on things at that level because deep down what i am really after is that unconventional bit you mention, i.e. being fine with just sitting on a couch due to having developed disenchantment with depressed thinking. You would think that disenchantment would develop after so much suffering through that type of thinking... I guess I still am under the impression that there is some use to that type of thinking. The main technique I use for developing that kind of thing is trying to be present and non-reactive, and thus no longer fueling the thinking... I think the simple reason this doesn't work is that I really can't be non-reactive to things which I don't like. Like an intensely unpleasant feeling. Also when I try to be aware of thoughts I invariably start arguing against them or for them, I really have a tough time with just bare awareness of these phenomena.
This is a huge area you can work on. Sorry this is going to be a long post but there's lots you can add. My practice for this problem is simple. Be ready with mindfulness when something doesn't go your way towards something small. Try and play a game where you really get into it and it starts getting harder and you're losing more. Try and relax your body and mind (letting go) when things don't go your way, and do the same when you win. Those sensations arise and pass away on their own. If you have particular enjoyments or tasks you don't like then try and do without the stuff you like for a test. Try and do something you dislike as a test and look at the thinking that's happening. I find there's lots of vedana thinking going on. Even now when I do a chore there's a slight tightening that happens right away and when I'm in the task I notice this quick thinking and tightening and I relax the tension in the head and body. Learn to relax your limbs because they often can look like they are ready for a fight or flight response out of habit. One of the breakthroughs I had last year was
staying with the vedana tones in the body and just waiting for them to naturally pass away. It's almost like the brain resets if you give it enough time.Rob Burbea has a great description of vedana and how there are pleasant and unpleasant frequencies happening all the time and you can
tune into the pleasant ones. For example when I have cold hands I can notice the pleasant parts of the cooling effects so the brain complains less. Nick likes to call it hacking vedana. Whatever you want to call it you need to see the middle path of things.
Look into intellectual understanding of the middle path from Nagarjuna. Look into how the brain reacts to objects as if they are permanently 100% good or bad. Purposefully look at things you like and find out what's imperfect about them and especially look at what's good about what you think is awful. Is it really 100% awful? If something was intolerable you would die. This kind of cognitive therapy works wonders but you have to really use it.
I've got the CBT process right here:
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5211785
Memorize it and keep reminding yourself of the benefits of an action and the detriments of non-action. If you don't act that's a choice as well as taking action. Most self-help books that I read pretty much say you have to do different actions for about 3 weeks to a month before they feel comfortable as a new habit. Until then you have to accept some discomfort. This is why working with vedana and watching discomfort naturally fade is really important.
Lean into the discomfort.To improve your practice of keeping presence and non-reactivity it's important to see that you're not having aversion to thinking or aversion to old habit impulses. Aversion always makes us chase after a short-term enjoyment for a quick soothing but it's too temporary and leads to avoidance.
This book was helpful:
http://books.google.ca/books/about/Clarifying_the_Natural_State.html?id=uoCa1aEVAzwC
It's important to welcome sensations that are unpleasant to prevent aversion from adding onto aversion. This was a big deal for me. I couldn't get any farther without this:
http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/9813/
When letting go it's important not to block thinking because that is more aversion:
http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/20/talk/18314/
The trick is to understand that when you notice your mind wandered then you're already back. There's no need for added aversion. It's a totally superfluous mental loop.
Mental loops are thinking about thinking. They are exhausting when they are mental habits. They have to be let go of over and over again. By letting go I mean not pushing away but just letting the impulse drop without feeding the impulse with rumination.
In summary, if you welcome unpleasant impulses and sensations and you don't block a wandering mind then impulses can freely arise and pass away without your clinging/ruminating/fixation blocking them. That's two types of aversion dropped right there.In the realm of conventional happiness and especially for dopamine you need
small goals that you can perform and develop rewards. You need to develop a way to get
immediate feedback so the brain can measure progress and correct your execution of the task. Overwhelming yourself with large goals will cause procrastination. Sometimes when I procrastinate I try to do lots of small tasks and do them with mindfulness but AS QUICKLY AS I CAN. As soon as you lose inertia the old habits come back. Creating deadlines that others know about can motivate you as well though I prefer moving faster. When you complete tasks you'll naturally get dopamine and some serotonin.
I just posted a book review that has some lessons on the consequences of negative thinking on performance of any kind:
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5576267The Practicing Mind also blends well with the above because it talks again about how self-judgment affects performance.
Self-judgment releases cortisol and it interferes with performance. http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5552028Try practicing the Do, Observe, Correct process without judgment in your goals.
To summarize you start off by
using meditation to let go of the old habit impulses and then you
use concentration to gather your will. You need to find goals that are worthy of your values,
break them down into smaller goals (preferably daily goals), create a reward system that gives you
immediate feedback. This way insight meditation reduces stress by letting go of clinging of any kind and then concentration can narrow your aim towards your goals (assuming you've broken them down into small daily tasks). When you both fail and succeed along the way
you can still use the insight practice to welcome unpleasantness and let go of fixation. Then you would repeat the above and hopefully for the rest of your life.I hope this is helpful.
Richard