Daniel M. Ingram:
That is an impressive resume of retreats to not have the insights that would be expected from that. What did you do on those retreats? Did you note every second from the time you woke up until the time you went to sleep? How rapidly did you try to perceive things changing? How do you conceive of the practice and the results?
When I was in Malaysia 2012/13, I certainly attempted to note every waking second. Nothing much happened for the first 3 months and I was almost going to jack it in had a visa run, break for a week, then went back and continued then I had a month or at least 3 weeks with the "best" concentration I've ever had, especially when sitting, almost no break in terms of awareness of rising and falling. That's when some other phenomena such as bright lights and extraordinarily wild physical shaking occurred (discussed this at length here back then) at which I thought I could "note my way out of" by being present and aware and noting every single twist shake jolt tremble etc but it only got worse at which point I became fearful (by this point it had been going on for about a week) and the teacher told me I had to actually stop it. ie not just "ride the wave" and note it which is what I thought I was supposed to do but open eyes or sit up straight or get up. But not continue to roll in it. So, yes, I continued practicing whilst attempting to note every waking second.
The shaking phenomena has not left (1+1/2 years on) but I am less disturbed by it and nearly always stop it if it starts coming on too strong by straightening up the body (usually does the trick) or even opening the eyes whilst noting what I'm doing whilst doing it. Thinking about it, even though I'm very used to it, I am probably somewhat irritated by it happening still. I want it to " go away " but it doesn't. I also fully accept now that I am causing it. Ajahn Amaro (chief monk at Amaravati) mentioned to me that he had had the same problem about 30 years back. It took him years to work through it. That gave me some grain of comfort that if such a senior monk had also struggled with it, I was not alone in that sense. I have now realized that there are a fair few others who struggle with it.
How rapidly did you try to perceive things changing? How do you conceive of the practice and the results?
I'm unable to perceive things at the rate you mention in MCTB (10 times per second). I am usually noting much more slowly than that. If I am walking or doing daily stuff on retreat then I'm noting just maybe once or twice a second my movements or thoughts. However at times this might slow further a little bit. When sitting, it's a bit faster than that, maybe 2 or 3 times a second at times.
The practice... well, I am wondering which direction to head in terms of practice. I feel like doing Kasina to help build concentration, but whilst doing this I am doing a lot of noting at the same time (of what I'm seeing). However, at times I also feel like doing "nada" sound practice as "the sound of silence" as it's been coined elsewhere comes up quite a lot for me too. Indeed on my last recent 1 week retreat, whilst doing walking meditation it so happened a few times that the sound came on so strong, I wasn't sure if I should stop walking altogether and just note "hearing hearing" continuously or else not even note it but just be with it.
Results? Well, I can see from the maps that I haven't progressed very far..... Is that what you mean?
Piers