Dream Walker:
Next meditation i'm gonna explore grabbing a bunch of stuff. (steering attention, changing focus, choosing, doing) What can't i grab? what is and isn't solid? INVESTIGATE the objectifing
So I just grabbed hold....just the sensation of grabbing....held it for minutes and then slowly let go...and let go more...and more...blip. I repeated this over and over....somewhere around the 6th blip in 30 minutes I stopped.
This approach is not working. I'm trying to get the brain to do something new...not the old trick it knows. Sigh....I'm starting to think about quitting meditating....it's not what I want to do, so it's probably the option I need to try.
I think there may be some addiction to meditating at this point.....getting the Fix to take care of stress.....stress that if it builds up on it's own without a relief valve may get the new trick to show itself.....maybe....
I'm not quite ready yet for this radical acceptance approach but I'm ripening to it
~D