| | I would like some feedback on something I just noticed today in sitting:
In the past (especially post A&P) I have never been able to concentrate reliably in a way that leads to stronger concentration, without zipping up the maps (and my 3rd and 6-10 nanas tend to be extemely rough - even my A&P is rough for some reason nowdays)
- So the issue for me tends to be then that I get stuck somewhere in the DN, everything gets sticky, etc and I never seem to be able to make progress or disembed from any of those states long enough to get up to 11th nana. My gut feeling is that either I need an x day retreat with solid noting or I need to build concentration before 'using it up' so to speak. So far I have been cyling between building up some unification of mind then blowing it all on insight, which seems to allow for progress but in a very slow way...
So I continue to try to discover how this mind works, how I can use it more skillfully.
What I discovered today, and would like to know if this is true for anyone else (or if they noticed it) - is that when I have been 'concentrating' I push into the object/raw sensations too hard and also tend to allow the self, or the feeling/belief of 'me focusing on that' fade away and of course what happens is things get rough, itchy/burny/ then neck movements/contractions/shaking then eventually go non-dual and superfast (A&P) - and then on from there in a typical maps pattern. (although it is extremely painful to do it that way for some reason)
What I found is that I could keep myself from going that way(up the maps) and charge up the concentration better if I did NOT allow the feeling/belief of 'I am focusing on that' to slip away while doing it...
Does that make sense then? First Jhana/access still incudes the nonverbal duality while second and by association A&P drops it?
If thats the case then the reason I have been unable to concentrate for so long is that I am either allowing the duality to slip away or pushing it away enough to go in that direction. I will experiment with this more of course but does that seem to jive with other people's experience?
Thanks |