| | Mai88: it sounds like you are already Dark Nighting, as that sort of need to meditate like you need to breathe or go to the bathroom is very classic Dark Night stuff, as is the lack of interest in people's worldly things. Finding the right balance between worldly activities that really need attention, such as children, bills, relationships, etc. and the sometimes very powerful urge to find something in meditation can be a real trick. I agree with Tracy's recent post.
As to Nathan28's post, quoted above, I am not really sure I would classify it in psychiatric terms. Instead, I am more likely to think of it in developmental terms, and when one is half way in and half way out, things can feel very conflicted and out of sorts. Best advice: find a period of time for a few weeks and, with the very best technique and instruction you can find, get stream entry. It really can be done. It helps tremendously. I remember canceling all my medical school interviews, nearly wrecking my marriage, and basically trashing my finances while in the worst of my Dark Night period just to go on retreat, as I couldn't really care about anything else. Once I got stream entry, suddenly I could engage with the world again, hold down a job, reapplied to medical school, was able to pursue studies well again, was much more tolerable in my relationship, etc.
Have you checked out the section on the middle ñanas in my book? It can be helpful, found in the chapter on the Progress of Insight in the writings or blook section of www.interactivebuddha.com. Also check out Jack Kornfield's A Path with Heart in the section on Dissolving the Self. Most importantly, don't permamently screw up anything you will want intact later when you are out of this. Be kind whenever possible. As monkeymind aptly notes, physical exercise can help.
I am glad this discussion is happening, as this is a key topic. If you can handle the Dark Night well, the rest is gravy. |