| | Author: josh0
With that goal in mind I decided that I should use all my down time for at least some level of practice and so, in bed last night, I tried to focus on my breath until I fell asleep. I spent the night in what I thought was restless sleep, and woke up convinced that I had overslept and that it could be no earlier than noon. I was quite surprised to discover that it was 8:30, my wife hadn't even had her coffee yet, and I felt like a million bucks. Hoping that my attempted meditation before sleep was the cause, I felt re-invigorated in my desire to pursue my goal and decided to continue using all available time to practice in whatever limited capacity I was able. This lead to what I can only describe, as ridiculous as it sounds, as a trancendent experience in the shower. In the process I felt as though I had overcome some of the obstacles that I had placed in my own way, and that I'm really on the right path now. Walking to work afterwards I felt a tremendous internal energy that continues even now as well as the intense desire to not work and instead dedicate my time to meditation (as a compromise I'm posting here, which is probably less productive than either work or meditation would be).
It's nice to think, though it seems a bit presumptuous, that this was some sort of A&P experience (which I just now realized that this means it should probably have been posted on the A&P page, sorry about that). Certainly some of the common characteristics seem to be present, especially the fact that it can look like a manic episode in some people which seems an adequate description of the way I currently feel. But I'm warry that this inclination could be nothing more than hubris, which I why I'm posting here. If anyone has any thoughts or advice that they could offer, I would very much appreciate it. My intention is to simply continue to dedicate as much time as possible to practice, meet my above-stated goal, and progress onto new goals. |