| | RE: Hi all Answer 8/26/10 7:20 PM as a reply to J Groove. Thank you, J Groove, for your prompt and insightful response.
Well, there was one experience in particular. I had managed to let the mind calm down quite a lot, and at the end of the sit I did what I always do, nothing special, I made the volition "ok let's turn mindfulness on this state of mind, and investigate the various corners / strands of thought / assorted debris etc). So I turned mindfulness on the mind, and I felt mindfulness flow into mind, like water flowing into water, and after a few moments the realization came - 'I and my mind are not the same thing!' I have not been able to repeat this experience, cos now I'm trying, see? It happened because I wasn't trying anything special, just doing the practice...
So I do have this sense of mind as being something that I am responsible for, that I must care for and attend to, but I am not sure any more exactly where 'I' fit into all this. I can still give in to anger and ill-will, and can feel quite hurt when people insult and/or ridicule me. It is on the basis of this clinging, as well as the identification with mindful awareness ("I" felt aware of "my mind") that I would not think myself to be sotapanna, which from my limited understanding entails an actual and factual experience of the self-less nature of the five khandhas. So clearly, I don't know what level (if any) I am on...and in any case I ought to not worry it, and just practice more and get my lazy butt off the computer chair...see what I mean? ;)
With metta. |