Author: JefeStock
I vaugely got the impression that there were two "tats" before but I wasn't as aware of them as the last one, so they might have not happened. That _might_ have been a cessation. If it was than I really can't blame myself for not noticing them in daily life. I barely even noticed that one and I was in that intense awareness that only happens after something freaky happens to you! Anyway, after this whole thing I was kind of freaked out, so I got up and left the formation and my sense of self came back stronger than usual, which is another reason I had doubts about this. But now that I've read Dan's diary, I'm starting to question it.
Like I've said before, I've gotten an a&p event without dropping back to the 3rd nana or anything, so it could be the second path one. Any words of wisdom would be welcome!!!
p.s. I also vaguely remember reading something about blackout moments in equanimity, which I also thought this could be. I'm not sure now tho.
Edit: wow. this is freaky. I've been thinking about it more and it's occurred to me that I've also just recently been able to reach the jhanac states now even though I tried before the "ripping" event. And since I can get into that state of mind were I'm nothing but observing everything ("i" in this case being synonymous to the present moment) my meditation has gotten better. I still don't know tho. It seems so ordinary to me. Is there some way I can tell without doubt? I hate guessing.
Edit Edit: Also, Whenever I have been meditating vipassana style I've been able to see vibrations in my visual field with very little effort. I couldn't do it before the event. Wow. The more I talk about this the more it points to stream entry. So I also want to ask if anyone else had that one vibration where everything was metallic black?
Thanks! Love you guys