[quote=)( piscivorous]
End in Sight:
The main benefit is that "confrontational noting" has a good track record of getting people MCTB paths more directly.
This is good to know. I still get a sense that I'm misunderstanding - I find the experience extremely painful (even physically), frustrating, and exhausting. I certainly see the 3Cs - this is suffering, man. The progress that I've made in the last month has been that I'm more equanimous in the teeth of this. Perhaps I need to meet this head-on and work this out on retreat?
Some people have to make a "heroic" effort at noting to get MCTB 1st path.
End in Sight:
Whether you want those, whether you need those...at this point, who knows.
Absolutely I want those. I'm pre-path.
Well, you should keep in mind that TWIM has no track record (that we know of) for getting people these MCTB paths. According to his own explanation, Bhante V went through the traditional Mahasi noting stuff, implied that he reached the end of it (whatever the end is, according to him), and
then changed to this method. What happens when someone without the same background in noting practices TWIM? We don't know.
The question is, what is your ultimate practice goal? If it's the resolution of the tensions you're seeing, perhaps TWIM will get you there without any traditional paths. On the other hand, perhaps MCTB 1st past (at least) will be helpful in doing that. But, perhaps TWIM will get you that along the way.
Much about this alternative approach is unknown...you'll have to make a decision about what the best practice choices are for you given your goals, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Many of us see the value of something like TWIM...but, we simply do not have the experience with pursuing it directly (without MCTB paths) to vouch for things working out one way or other.
Perhaps this is something you could ask Sister Khema about.
What I recommend is evaluating whether your practice is reducing your core problem (for example, tensions) over the medium-term. If it is, good. If not, re-evaluate.
End in Sight:
Are you able to see that your attention is constantly moving from its object and being drawn to some kind of subtle tension (not just in the case of some kind of gross experience of a hindrance)?
Profound glimpses, not constantly.
Keep observing, and more and more details of the process will become clear to you. Seeing this process with ever-increasing clarity was the fundamental thing for me.
One of the things I'm a bit torn over with respect to Mahasi noting and the TWIM methods is that while TWIM is recently helping me relax and notice certain subtle movements (for lack of a better word), the Mahasi noting has been profound. It's just hella painful. Due to noting, I've seen previously automatic movement into emotions like a hand darting into a glove. Or how my body had been moving puppet-like as intentions arose. It's interesting to realize that I can arrest those formerly automatic movements/identifications. So I'm loath to ditch noting entirely. I wonder if have perhaps been over-zealous or misunderstood how to note, which resulted in so much pain?
I also found (quick, precise, exact) noting to be painful...and "hardcore vipassana" without noting to be even more so.
Perhaps there is a different way to approach it that would be effective, but I never found one.