Daniel M. Ingram:
Equanimity is the traditional and practical antidote: It helps counteract codependence, the near enemy of interdependence. Codependence is a perennial problem in this business. Equanimity should be practiced with the others.
"All beings are the true heirs of their karma. Their happiness depends upon their actions and not upon my wishes for them."
Ah yes, that's the one. Another phrase that I liked that helped drive this point home:
"Then again, the disciple of the noble ones considers this: 'I am not anyone's anything anywhere; nor is anything of mine in anyone anywhere.'"
MN 106