Mario Nistri:
In the conceptual framework used in this forum, what you describe has nothing to do with insight and everything to do with morality.
And, by the way, I really like it, there are not many people in this forum posting about the first training.
So, I'll ask a few questions:
Attention + self talk + correct attitude
-During your day, how often this process is repeated?
-how long have you been using this approach?
-how long did it take to show some result?
-the shown results lead to a progressive, linear improvement of the quality of life? Or maybe it's better described as a series of ups and downs, but with a constant "up" trend on the long run? Or maybe something like up. then a stabilization period, and then up again?
-did you have positive feedback from others?
-did this practice resulted in some change in habits, behavior, interests and so forth?
-Any unexpected side effect? Is there some part of this process that seems not beneficial, not optimal? In other words, have you noticed any disadvantage, fault, or something unsettling/uncomfortable in any way coming from this practice, or maybe that was already there, but this practice brought to light?
I ask because I'm really interested in this thing, I'd like to get an idea of how it's working...
Bye!
[some edits]
Hi Mario,
I just finished writing a reply that took half an hour and it deleted itself as I went to post.
I'll try tomorrow. Don't feel like it now, obviously!
Is it tomorrow yet? I've just been for a walk.
I'd just ask you to assume, if you're happy to, that what feels right
is right for you at this stage. If what I say feels right, do some more. If it doesn't feel right, leave it. Just do one minute of it. This isn't for people who can do vipassana comfortably for hours on end. It's for those who feel bad/wrong/sick when they do it. Those who feel worse.
There's nothing special about this. The essence is "be who you are". Not many people seem to do it, though. Or they do it incompletely.
Find your key issue(s). When do you feel most wrong/angry/anxious/sad/agitated/uncomfortable? When (if ever) do you feel inferior, not good enough? When you know that, visualize it happening for a moment and just ask "If I had to guess, what do other people think of me in this situation?". You might assume (probably incorrectly, but that's irrelevant because it's real for you) that they might think you're not 'x' enough, successful enough, handsome enough, clever enough, sane enough, happy enough, witty enough.... and so on. What's the one overriding issue? If there's no overriding issue, you may feel that you are just plain no good, unworthy, shameful in a general sense.
Say you never finished secondary school and you always feel like others think of you as stupid. When with others you might unconsciously compensate for this by standing a little taller, trying to use big words, using a special tone of voice. Whatever it is you do to feel more intelligent will have two unfortunate results: 1) you reinforce the belief that your real level of intelligence isn't acceptable, and 2) you repel people through your anxious vibe. You're pushing yourself to be something other than
*this*. It feels so counter-intuitive at first to say "this is how I am. I didn't finish school. I'm not that clever. That's ok. It doesn't need fixing or changing" and as you say this, really fall into it, embody it, live it, walk the talk.
This part is really important - feedback from others -, because you can't learn self-esteem on your own. All along we've thought "I have to be other than what I am in order to be accepted or liked", but the opposite happened. As you tried harder, this willful vibration repelled most people except those with the same vibration, reinforcing to you that you need to be more than
*this*. Then paradoxically, by relaxing into who/how/what you are right now, you'll find that people open up and reinforce that you are in fact more than acceptable just this way. Total strangers will smile broadly, high-5 you, buy you a drink, cross the road just to be near you.
I haven't answered a lot of those questions you asked but this is probably a better reply than my first one that got deleted.
When the self is accepted, then it's relatively easy to extend that acceptance out onto the weather, the traffic, work, the world and so on.
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Regarding the comments about advertisements: I model myself on the attitude of acceptance, not the fruit of that (the smiling, the happiness, the ease, the comfort and so on).