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New practice.

New practice.
Answer
12/16/12 11:41 AM
Been off the cushion for 48 hours now (with the exception of 40 minutes Calm Abiding session. Silent. For which i'm the bell ringer, Sunday evening, at six.) Infected ear has become a perforated ear drum, so a little off colour.

My biggest question or query now is ... what is my new practice going to look like? Was concidering going all the way back to two hours per day, 40 minutes morning, 40 minutes midday and 40 minutes evening, but surfing the DhO i see that 2 hours per day is nothing more than bare maintenance.

After my brush with samadhi (a wonderful first sit, and three high level repetitions) which i've come to think of as "sitting down with the elephant" with sits of 4 to 5 hours per day (mainly 4) i don't want to be going back to "maintenance only" style of just two hours. am making a statement of intent now: I want a practice that ensures regular jhana experience with relative ease In return i'm willing to put in 6 hours of sitting, sorry not sitting but meditation per day. I have been wrestling with what my new daily practice will look like and the following popped into my head .., for the want of anything better ... a place to start from.
5am to 6am, one hour sitting meditation.
6am to 7am, one hour walking meditation.
7am to 8am, one hour supine. Then a repetition of that am block at which ever three hour pm block decided on. Can anyone out there tell me ... is a three hour block of meditation made up of one hours sitting, walking, and supine as good as a straight three hour cushion sit. I can only make an hour with the legs in the 1/2 lotus before cramps follow and i've not sat three hours in any position let alone the tailors position, so will have to give it a go!

Might just give it another 48 hours to allow the static in my ear to lessen. Damm, but i'm glade i have this forum to which to bring myself and my problems. And you people so, so much further along, still having the concern to take the time to address us newbies

Much Metta for the assistance already rendered. Thank you a guys.

RE: New practice.
Answer
12/20/12 4:40 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Two days into my new routine. Two, three hour sits broken up into 60 minutes sitting, 60 minutes walking and 60 minutes of supine meditation. Way to early to be experiencing anything, but here is an amusing happening. Was at the chemist getting some scripts filled, busy day, pre christmas, when i noticed i was in a light state of access concentration and wondered if i could deepen it ... next thing i know two sales staff were trying to raise me out of my whatever with some concern, until a smile reassured them. I was quite chuffed about that. Chuckle chuckle ... This meditation stuff is just about the most thrilling thing i've ever done. It's so wonderful to have all these new happenings to this blase' old biker. Thanks for this precious human life...

RE: New practice.
Answer
12/22/12 12:32 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Have made a slight structural change to my meditation ... Have dropped the supine as i've done it far to easy, which makes me think that despite the feeling of wellness at the end of supine, i've been taking 40 winks. So, out with it and back in with another hour of sitting. Leg position optional. Tried a full lotus sit and managed a whole couple of minutes before i was pushing that pesky left foot urgently off my right thigh. Some resistance to walking meditation, would like to deepen access concentration here. Bit of clock watching in last 15 to 20 of three hour sit/walk/sit.

Much more aware of my dreams. Normally are not. Had three really lucid dreams, the last being a most vivid end of days vision of death dance of the earth and moon at the end of times ... Weird

At all midway points from sitting i had the urge to sit more --- so even at 6 hours i haven't found my base line yet. Thought 6 hours have been harder.

Would love another taste of Samadhi ... YES PLEASE MISTA MEDITATION MAN!!!emoticon

RE: New practice.
Answer
12/22/12 12:38 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Sounds good. I went into a concentration state once when I was in the doctor's office waiting for him to show up (15 minutes or so); when he finally came bursting into the room it was overwhelming. He was talking really fast, using a lot of emphasis, and was giving off all this restless energy. I just smiled and felt like I was an LP record watching someone at 78 (you know what I mean). Happy trails! I get what you're saying about supine meditation. I know exactly where that would take me. emoticon

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/9/13 4:41 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Got through Christmas. Normally the silly season is associated with chronic depression but meditation has slowly been reeling that "given" back to what is becoming a new reality. Small depression front caught up with me a couple of days prior to New Year. Unfortunately i didn't sit through. First break in over 14 months sittings!!! Been doing Anapanasati practice for the same length of time and struggling to know just where I was, and that was providing me with some angst, even though i have Buddhadasa Bhikkhu's book Anapanasati Mindfulness with Breathing, . Then i picked up my latest book, Alan Wallace's The Attention Revolution, Unlocking the power of the focused mind. According to him i was at stage 4, Close Attention but i didn't want to go any further with him because i wanted to improve my access concentration, then i found that being able to count the breath on the exhalation from 1 to 10 through to 30. Then count the inhalation on the in breath 2 X 10 times, that was all the access concentration needed to move to Insight meditation. I can hold the breath on counting for a full hour without losing it once ... but i still hadn't touched on Jhana yet and i had set that as a target, prior to moving on. I may be grasping for this goal, thus putting it out of reach.

What about the next chapter in Wallace's book, "settling the mind in it's natural state"

Having read the instructions and understood them, i thought ok here goes! Vase breathing to settle the mind then allow thoughts to just arise and pass with no comment on anything (My background thoughts are so quiet now that i thought this would be ideal for me!) BUT KEEP IT ALL VIVID. I instructed access concentration to be available at the commencement of the meditation and it was. So then it was just a gentle cycle of watching the breath, yes, that's ok ... watching the thoughts yeap ...watching my self, yes. AND THE BIG THING IS... I asked myself to deepen my concentration and it happened, i felt a deepening of access. So then every time it came around, I asked that it be deepened. Then i realised i was back in that happy place and that Samadhi had come out to play. It feels as if my inner teacher has been given his instructions. I feel so much better. Lost that floundering feeling i had for so long. Samadhi appeared before first bell, so i'd gotten deep quickly, 7 to 10 minutes. Had a delicious 45 minutes of the most vivid, open eyed meditation, ever. I'll give Alan Wallace the next 12 months and lets see what transpires.

Dharma Overground rules.

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/11/13 7:35 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
I was so 'full of it' when i stated that 6 hours meditation was easy. Pratt! ... couple of days after that i was on nothing, zero, zip. And those few days were the biggest gap in meditation in over 14 months. 6 Hours, in two blocks of 3, plainly was my "wall" Anyway i'm back on the mat with 4 hours a day and i'll leave it at that until i've bedded in Alan Wallace's Settling the Mind in it's natural state. I'm getting concentration... and now and again i'm able to manipulate it. I was given a taste of jhana (Hard as the Hobs of Hell) right at the every beginning that gave me the where with all to get to here. Now just a couple of days ago i have another full on hour of wonderfully deep meditation with such clarity and vividness such as i've never seen. I see a pattern establishing here. Gift; work; achieve: I was given my first gift about 18 months back when i was slung off into jhana and that gave me the motivation to work at re reaching that wonderful place. Now... i haven't got there yet but i'm coming really close and in the confusion of "where to next!!!" i've been given another gift of what more advanced meditation practices are returning to their practitioners. So now its rather not so much whoooo look at what i,ve achieved but. Whooo, put the work in and look to what i can achieve. I have been through so much of this site and the return on investment has been absolutely wonderful. To all past and present contributors, from my heart ... thank you.

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/13/13 1:40 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
It's 4:47 and past first light ... i've just pulled another all nighter. I couldn't go to sleep without meditating, as the preceding 4 x 1 hour sits had all given me light to heavy access concentration. Started the session with vase breathing and settled the breath in very quickly as i now seem able to do. light grade access concentration was with me almost from the get go and i once again experimented with requesting that the access concentration i have be deepened ... it took more time than before, BUT IT WAS. Four more times i repeated the request with positive results each time. I didn't need a fifth, i was in what i've come to recognise as Samadhi, past concentration, and solid as a rock. Really firm. Twenty minutes into an hours sit. Stayed with me the rest of the sit. Had a lot of pins and needles and bliss bombs in both hands which sort of suggested that were i to stay sitting might be a precursor of nimitta but was already rather chuffed with what had been achieved and called it quits. Shouldn't have... Thought the session would be good and it was. Not had a premonition about a sitting previously!

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/16/13 9:38 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Lost a couple of days due to stupidity. Worked out in the noon day sun (in the tropics) and became dehydrated. Very distracting.

Came back today with just two hours but boy what a good couple of sittings they were! Both sessions had me in Samadhi before the first bell. Stayed with me all of both sittings with a slight reduction in the last 1/4 hour of the last sit. I am just so f****** grateful that i have at last, been able to summon up a repeatable, verifiable, tangible, concrete benefit from this hard won race, called meditation. But my mind was still nagging at me, eightfold path, so i looked up a small outline on the Noble Eightfold Path i have and reread it. Very quickly it became obvious the amount of work i had put in on this Plan For Life over the past 18 months and that the calmness and peace i have, are indicative of the fact that i am in the right place at the right time. I have made a big dent at the mountain of factors i had going against me, and the result is a peace of mind as yet unknown to me previously. A huge gratitude is on me. Who do i thank for the miraculous feeling of well being, i've experienced since this evening. Jhana is now just a word ... not this great and glorious goal i MUST reach. In it's own time it will happen, of that i am sure. I just don't need it to be tomorrow anymore!

Trawling this forum every night like a deep sea fisherman has stretched my mind so much in these past few short weeks. I'm gunna say it again ... Thank you Dharma Overground. Pathetic words for such life changing exploits. Much metta to all beings.

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/20/13 12:08 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Everything has become a problem. Don't want to sit (and things are going well for me in this regard too, so there is no reason for this avoidance) I copied this little bit of Dharma out from somewhere. Wish i could give it an author ... The robbers of non mindfulness always seek to enter the mind of one who is making efforts on the path. When his carelessness allows them an opening, they snatch away his mindfulness, his virtues, and as a result he winds up in a wretched state. Everything is a bit of a problem. Its all happening so fast. Just come off some sort of high and i can now sympathise with advise on false feelings of enlightenment. Then there was a period of days when i was so tensed across the top of the shoulders and back down to the middle of the back, suddenly that washed out to be replaced by this aversion, all when things where going so smoothly, mmm.
Very restless and and a tad short with all. Not at all where a was just a few short days ago. Four hours per day is the sitting times i've contracted with myself and i'm only averaging three. Shits Me... sorry...

It gets hard doing this shit on your Pat Malone... Wooo feeling sorry for myself.

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/20/13 12:28 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Spent all day with my actual Sanga Sunday, six of us on a committee, and that only served to highlight just how lonely it is out here ... Even with all the little sweeteners that get dropped periodically in my lap. Thank all the gods for my virtual Sanga. I'd love to sit with you guys. Would that i could ....

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/23/13 12:03 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Samadhi in the morning and Jhana at night???

Had only two of my allotted four hours meditation. Crazy as it is they ended up being the second and third best sittings i had had! I've been gifted an example of what could be on two separate occasions now. Once right at the beginning when i was slammed into Hard Jhana and then again just recently, with Samadhi. Samadhi has been repeatable and verified on numerous occasions since, though not as deep as first. And now yesterday i achieve a very hard samadhi in the morning and i think Jhana in the evening. It was more and different than samadhi, but not the door slamming hardness of my first accidental encounter with jhana. there was no nimitta preceding the event either but it was the hardest hours sitting i've had. By hardest i mean that i was locked into the experience without the need for maintenance by me. Meditation was managing me!!! The thing i did differently ... I listened to a dharma talk on Audio Dharma, teacher 2 regarding her concentration experiences,and she related that she relaxed into her meditation more. Of late, i have been instructing my mind and body what to do, so instead of instructions, it was relaxation and boy oh boy didn't my body respond to that! Straight away the feeling was different and the journey down more satisfying. Just relaxed into the whole thing. All in all, the best days sitting i've had. And i should be over the world. Break out the bells and whistles ... I got Jhana ... But instead of that i spent the day beating myself up for not having sat for my contracted four hours. Shit i'm a fickle bastard.

I've been a seeker all my adult life, it's been an obsession. Now i appear to have found a "way" that has it's own amusement park attached ... I am not being disrespectful, far, far from that but boy What A Ride!!!

It's so lonely though. Don't feel depressed... but highly introspective.

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/24/13 8:31 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Ok ... i'm shitty! Dark and pissed off. What small amount of wisdom i have says that if in fact that is the case then it is time to do an accounting of my pros and cons. A little, where am i now, in comparison to where i was just a few short years ago. Up front and just for starters. Just in the last 24 hours, here on DhO, i have read an old 2009 saga of a person with strong bi polar disorder and the problems they where experiencing. Boy oh boy, my heart went out and back in time. Three, four years ago now Depression was my default position permanently. Not so much depressed as "Hard core" chronic depression. Throw Schizoaffective disorder (a cross between schizophrenia and bi polar) into the ring, plus the fact that i'm a non drinking alcoholic and you have just the beginning of the picture of what i was like. I was going to post those facts here when i first found this site but i thought i'd hold on and do what i've done to every problem that has confronted me since i found meditation... just keep on throwing more mediation at the problem till it goes away, and crazy as it may seem but it has worked a bloody treat with nothing thus far being able to resist. Now my default emotional position is contentment and peace. Never felt before feelings of contentment. We all have that riotous racket of voices within but i had a specific personal dialogue that was foul and filthy, that came on with the onset of mental illness as a teenager. They have all gone man. It is quiet up there when i stop thinking. Having done the pro's i guess it's now time to balance this with the con's ... Ok ... i'm shitty! Dark and pissed off.

Personal freedom from myself has been the unexpected pleasure of this prodigious journey. What would i have done without you guys ... wow, don't quite know. It would have been a shite load longer as well.

Practiced only 1 hour of meditation today and now it's 11:31 at night.

Samadhi is available to me now at anytime, making toast. Dipping my tea bag, right then just thinking on it!!! It's just a matter of thinking of it, then a slight sideways slip and i'm in the zone. My eyes just zone out and it's on me. That's got to be a neat a!

Metta to all beings.

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/28/13 2:10 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Been off air, for the past few days. Cyclonic weather up and down the eastern seaboard of Australia. Both internet and mobile phone down.

I made the point that Samadhi is available to me all the time. I'm sorry that has panned out to be untrue. Samadhi was available to me for a bit over a week and i was able to call it up without any trouble or time on the cushion but it has failed to stay with me. Negative feelings are exploring ways back into my newly opened mind. Very feeble attempts in comparison to what they used to bring against me. I mean nothing ground shaking by "newly opened mind", it's just that i have this more open feeling for what i'm doing and considering.

Metta to all, with thanks ... Stu

RE: New practice.
Answer
1/28/13 9:47 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.

Single Pointed Concentration



Boy oh boy... this ol' train just keeps on rolling. Woke up this morning wanting to sit, so got myself together with my cushion and a little flat sided blue glass bead i started using as a sight marker on a large carpeted area where i meditate Sunday, with my local Sanga, and found myself in one of the 1/2 dozen sitting places i have around the house. Anyway i have a little bead of blu tac which i put on the flat side of the glass bead, then i can attach it to any wall surface, however high i want. A couple of months later i read about Kasinas.

Set up and sat.

Samadhi very early but with a difference... This was getting deeper all the time and it was obvious! About the 10 minute mark i realise that i'm fixcated with what i'm looking at, and it took me another couple of minutes to realise that i'm in an altered state... single pointedly concentrating. Rock Hard and bright as a diamond. !00% no effort to remain in this condition. Again, meditation is managing me!!! Stay cool dude, don't blow it. Faint little buzzy feeling in my hands ... careful ... just relax into the feeling, and then my eyes dimmed and blurred and i thought that was it until this funny feeling started rising, so slowly like a mist rolling out and up my body, what is this??? This is new to me ... what is this... i feel something, but what ...!!! It's a feeling, but not one i've experienced before. Something going on with mouth, whats wrong with mouth ... nothing, it just wants to smile. The funny feeling couldn't be that piti ... sukha thing i keep on hearing everybody else but me get. Could it!

I just re read my entry to check how it looks and feels and just reading about it bought tears to my eyes. That's about the kindest i've ever allowed my self to feel in my life. The Bloody Wonder of this path.

No living idea where i am but really, really happy to be here.emoticon

RE: New practice.
Answer
2/3/13 9:21 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Three or four days since i made an entry. Have hit the plateau i expected too! sitting hasn't suffered. 5 hours 40 minutes today, the 40 minutes is my Calm Abiding meditation group here on the sunny Capricorn Coast of Australia. Our group is only two, three months old and whilst we've had around 8 to 10 people at various times, mostly 2 to 3 per sitting across Christmas and New Year. Hope for more after new school term starts.

Don't know if i'll continue to post here ... I've dug up just about all the most useful subjects and info i can find and that which i haven't is beyond my limited computing skills to find.

There seems to be no interest in these plain ol' practice logs. I can't seem to attract any attention, let alone from the people i would most appreciate speaking with. Besides i want to continue to develop Shamatha and Calm Abiding to their logical conclusions ... It has been beyond belief just how beneficial they both have been for me. they have bestowed peace on me.

Meanwhile best i be polishing up the old lamp, i got me a path to find.

Maybe come back, when like the rest of you i'm on the Vipassana trail.

RE: New practice.
Answer
2/12/13 9:49 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Can't leave ... you people, this place, Daniel's book.

It would seem that forever and a day i have seen so much material written regarding gaining good Shamatha skills prior to moving on to insight practice. Now, when i fully decide to go for broke on my concentration skill, every thing i seem to put in front of myself to read is saying that it is best for the yogi if he develops concentration or Shamatha and Vipassana together.

Well i can't do that now, as i have a fairly established Shamatha, Samadhi practice, more than enough to start immediately with Insight. I have Daniel's book and "Essentials of Insight Meditation Practice" by the Venerable Sujiva, a Theavadin monk from Malaysia who works out of Australia as well. So i guess it's time to get stuck back into it. Sooner started ... sooner finished. I would like Steam entry in this push if possible. I think i have enough PMA (Positive mental attitude) to get there.

Practice related... I'm still on 4 hours, which suddenly don't seem so much but i tried 6 hours a day just a while back and buggered that up! So 4 hours a day is where i be at!!!

A week or two back i started getting a funny little pinching and twitching in the tip of the nose and in my top lip, really early in my sit, and this seems to now coincide with a new and more stable level of absorption which i don't know what to call ... but seems rather Bloody nice.

So Plan of Attack ... Read up on Daniel's and the other Vipassana book, then plonk my ass on a cushion and get on with some Insight Meditation...

Was experiencing some rather nasty cycling of my schizoaffective disorder just a few short days ago but a talk with one of my actual Sanga assisted wonderfully for me, for that. Things are just so much easier now than they Ever have been. I don't seem to have the same ownership of any of my cycles, nor are they reaching into my daily life and fucking with it as they most often did!!! Oh they are still there ... but if i am mindful enough, their effect is minimised. The truth is my whole life has changed in the most major of ways man!

I bitch, i whinge, but damm, how bloody lucky am i to have these resources at hand.

RE: New practice.
Answer
2/16/13 12:35 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Feeling a bit depressed. My actual Sanga is having Calm Abiding Meditation weekend workshop at our gompa. Only $160 but can't afford it dam it! There are a couple of other workshops later on in the year and i can't do 'em all. I'd forgotten how expensive it can be, being a devotee, i can't even afford the course costs let alone paying the poor bloody teacher. My people are good and kind and make it quite clear, that money is not the object. I feel my financial burdens keenly though.

Practice wise, am on four hours sitting a day but have backslid'en yesterday. Up this morning at 2 am, but no inclination to sit. This prevalence of mine for feeling sorry for my self must stop. Every small object that might derail my quest for Stream Entry is, dam it. Only thing between me and a great sitting practice is my sometimes missing discipline. Mind you with my passion, it's a wonder that i'm still around. i'm normally burnt out by end of the first 6 months and at the 12 month mark, that's all she wrote! Just looked up my old journals and it's less than three years since the start of my meditation rocket ride!!! What a trip...

Three years from Atheist to Buddhist Believer

One of my sanga, a true spiritual friend of the best possible kind, (On'ya Danny Boy) noticed that it was starting to become very I, I, I and Me, Me, Me. I want Jhana... I want Stream Entry. Not much A! Give me a break. That's the Full Monte! I don't know how many times have i seen it written ... Don't grasp!!! it makes harder. Well that seems to be so for me at the moment. I want this deal too much. To the point where it's affecting my daily sitting ability. I need to get off my own back perhaps, give myself a break... Enjoy the ride, as i've read more than one advanced yogi say.

Sorry, but it's all "Shit and Tracks" for me and i've got scent! Bullheaded and Ambitious. Wrong ... wrong ... wrong.

RE: New practice.
Answer
2/16/13 4:43 PM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Stuart Charles Law:
Feeling a bit depressed. My actual Sanga is having Calm Abiding Meditation weekend workshop at our gompa. Only $160 but can't afford it dam it! There are a couple of other workshops later on in the year and i can't do 'em all. I'd forgotten how expensive it can be, being a devotee, i can't even afford the course costs let alone paying the poor bloody teacher. My people are good and kind and make it quite clear, that money is not the object. I feel my financial burdens keenly though.

Practice wise, am on four hours sitting a day but have backslid'en yesterday. Up this morning at 2 am, but no inclination to sit. This prevalence of mine for feeling sorry for my self must stop. Every small object that might derail my quest for Stream Entry is, dam it. Only thing between me and a great sitting practice is my sometimes missing discipline. Mind you with my passion, it's a wonder that i'm still around. i'm normally burnt out by end of the first 6 months and at the 12 month mark, that's all she wrote! Just looked up my old journals and it's less than three years since the start of my meditation rocket ride!!! What a trip...

Three years from Atheist to Buddhist Believer

One of my sanga, a true spiritual friend of the best possible kind, (On'ya Danny Boy) noticed that it was starting to become very I, I, I and Me, Me, Me. I want Jhana... I want Stream Entry. Not much A! Give me a break. That's the Full Monte! I don't know how many times have i seen it written ... Don't grasp!!! it makes harder. Well that seems to be so for me at the moment. I want this deal too much. To the point where it's affecting my daily sitting ability. I need to get off my own back perhaps, give myself a break... Enjoy the ride, as i've read more than one advanced yogi say.

Sorry, but it's all "Shit and Tracks" for me and i've got scent! Bullheaded and Ambitious. Wrong ... wrong ... wrong.


Have you tried continuing your samatha practice but then allowing some time to start a noting practice? If you are interested in 1st path as talked of on the dho, some form of samatha practice or whatever makes the mind more malleable and pliant then when ready switching to noting has consistently given good results, as far as i have read of, and experiencd myself. You seem to have a lot of craving arising for this and that, perhaps noting such tendencies and including them in the mix will move things along. Noting coupled with a strong samatha practice can be quite a powerful practice. Though if you can get up to 4th jhana via your samatha practice without much hassle, perhaps start noting then.

Nick

RE: New practice.
Answer
2/17/13 5:39 AM as a reply to Nikolai ..
Oh my goodness gracious me, Nikolai. You hit the nail on the head soooo precisely. My goal was to achieve 4th Jhana, then cross to insight, and i have been careful to steer clear of any discussion on noting or insight procedure as i wanted to come to the party with an open mind. Not after having tried a little bit of this ... and a little bit of that!

My problem is that i can't achieve jhana, let alone 4th. My concentration is good and improving all the time, and i think i am brushing closer, insofar as that i am, of late, developing what i had hoped was going to be jhana country but i've been getting impatient with my progress and considering moving to insight practice now. What i need is some direction, and i am very grateful for your contribution Nick, on how to achieve jhana. I have been an avarice reader of anything and everything jhana related but unable to translate that to the cushion or into my practice. I have a this thing whereby after a short period of time i slip into this concentration area where my eyes sort of half cross and that is the indication i'm in this new zone. Every thing is fairly firm and not needing manufacturing or maintenance by me. I had to interrupt the writing of this entry to go be the bell ringer at our Sunday evening 40 minute Calm Abiding sit and i was in this repeatable zone for 30 of the 40 minute session. I stay in the zone for 10 or so minutes then i appear to come out, but if i just hang out there for a couple of minutes max then i'm into a slightly deeper concentration. But it is not anything like the hard Jhana i was gifted shortly after starting my practice, a couple of years back. This is where it all gets a bit confusing for me. I'm inclined to follow Nick's advise and continue on the path of Shamatha, until 4th jhana. I had almost convinced myself to go the Vipassana route and what do they call it "Dry Noting" Heck ... what the hell would i know!!!

Thanks to all of you here ... even when i'm pissed off and cranky, there seems to continue to be some forward momentum, however slow it might seem to me.

RE: New practice.
Answer
2/19/13 9:13 AM as a reply to Stuart Charles Law.
Been fooling myself the past week or so ... to the point where my sittings are suffering for it. I wondered what would happen if i started backsliding a month or so ago, well, i found out. Things that where there a couple of weeks ago have gone. I have not had a sit for some time with any hard single pointed concentration and Samadhi has been absent for about the same length of time. All i have done is drop a few sits ... but, i held a fall back position in case of sever procrastination. The thought of two hours minimum a day, slid it's insidious way into my brain and that was all it took for the forces of Mara to delight in fucking with me.

I got to much grasping going on man! I don't want it, and sure as hell don't need it. To that end i'm just going to relax completely. No more Jhana's, no more Stream Entry, no nothing. And i have decided to continue working on samatha, with no goal in mind for the foreseeable future. Saw a map for the first time in ages just last night and i hardly even register on the dam thing after three years of meditation. I look to a period of consolidation. Hopefully at four hours minimum per day.

Fighting the fight ... keeping the faith