IAMTHAT That Ami:
However, I have my worries about this being a roadblock to completion and permanent stabilization of Buddhahood. Here are my 2 views:
1. Stay away, roadblock, stay focused on deepening & progress, rest in fruition/completion. Been actually contemplating entering a monastery full time in the next few years. So there's that.
2. I notice that with her, all the B.S. subconscious arisings stir up that wouldn't other wise stir up had I not met her. Aspects of wondering, some jealousy, aspects of self conscious, doubts, awe, inner debates, etc. And she's also very hard core practitioner and her own path is number 1 before all other things, which is a huge motivation. She also points out to me various subconscious notions that arise when I bring them up to her and tells me all about seeing through/dropping them.
Anyway, getting additional perspectives on this would be very helpful to crush one's own bias
Well she sounds pretty practice oriented, so that perhaps is unique... Anyhow my view of relationships and the path is that overall they are very useful, though this may be debated for the early stages of practice.
For the lower path, the Hinayana as I would classify it, which is fully accomplished at MCTB 4th path/ the first true realization of emptiness, the emphasis is on individual liberation. The Hinayana is known as the path as individual effort, and rightly so as accomplishing it requires an emphasis on personal effort. The amount of effort needed to gain realization here is quite substantial; significant near-constant practice is required. Thus dealing with the intricacies of a relationship could be somewhat of a hindrance. I would say that the turning within, or 'retreat' from extraneous daily affairs, which is likely to occur for one practicing hard in the Hinayana, could be taxing on a relationship. However given that your lady friend is also highly focused on practice this might not be an issue.
In the upper paths (Mahayana and Vajrayana), especially the Mahayana, the emphasis is on opening one's heart and breaking out of self-centered patterns. Thus a key aspiration in the Mahayana is to act as a Bodhisattva, or for the benefit of all beings, perhaps with somewhat of an emphasis on other beings. At this stage relationships are Very Helpful, as they require opening up out of self-centered tendencies, and opening your heart to other people (another person specifically).
In the latter path, the Vajrayana, the emphasis is on integrating self and other, or overcoming dualism, and naturally relationships are helpful here as well. Romantic relationships provide immediate feed back on one's own projections and confused tendencies. While friendships also are helpful in this regard, the extremely intimate nature of romantic relationship acts as a much stronger catalyst for progression.