Trial And Error:
I feel that as long as I don't make this thing up to whoever it caused harm (and I can't, at least for the time being), I'm not being moral. That's nobody else's understanding of morality. That is my understanding. And I feel that not being able to live up to my standards of morality effects my practice.
There's a very simple solution to this. However, I'm not so certain that you will want to hear it. Much less to do anything about it. But given some time, you will eventually realize that there is no other course.
Very simply, you have to learn to forgive yourself. And move on.
If you are truly repentant – and
only you will
know whether or not you are – then there is not much else you can do (aside from accomplishing what you cannot do "for the time being"). Forgive yourself, and get past this.
This would make a good subject for contemplation. Use it.