I'm now convinced that I did indeed attain SE on 3/14, and I'm also somewhat convinced I attained 2nd path on 5/8
Here's my second path story. On the evening of 5/8 I became to notice that the DN I was experiencing wasn't passing like the cycles I recorded here on the 5/1. After 30-45 minutes of gentle practice it began to wane, relieved I grabbed my ereader to relax before bed. Having just finished a different book I was perusing my library for something new, when I came across the partially finished SSOTBME. On a passionless whim I clicked the book and quickly began to wonder why I stopped on such an interesting page. After this
IHVH in the cabalistic system is a fourfold formula for consciousness manifestation translated as “I am that I am”
I paused to think. The discovery of MCTB has led me on a spiritual journey this past half-year that (among many other things) has cursorily included the Western occult tradition. In my study I had never read the Tetragrammaton translated as "I am that I am", but I had encountered the phrase before in some Eastern context. The first time I encountered the phrase I felt a fuzzy intuitive sense that it contained some deeply profound meaning, but I couldn't ascertain what. As you can imagine, when I encountered it again in connection with the Tetragrammaton I was fascinated. So, I closed my eyes and for no consciously apparent reason I repeated the phrase mentally as if calling it out, "I am that I am", I (seemingly) instantaneously felt a very very vague sense of understanding or recognition at some level, then ?????, then I was back with a jolt. It was most surprising. I opened my eyes with a vague smile, feeling completely different in the subtlest of ways. I felt like (and have felt since) that a significant portion of the sense of do-er has dissipated. Also, the metaphor of 'untying the knots' seems incredibly appropriate to me now. I've also come up with a couple metaphors of my own: it's like I had been studying an insanely complex painting for a long time, and suddenly some lines or objects are missing but I can't determine exactly what. And, it's like when an operating system or application just got an update and I can't tell what's changed but I've noticed an unmistakable difference.
Since that event my level of suffering has seemed consistently reduced and I also hadn't felt the urge to apply more than gentle mindfulness. Using just gentle mindfulness I believe I've noticed fruitions more often; I think I can differentiate between noself and suffering fruitions. Noself fruitions are silent and cleaner, while suffering fruitions feel vaguely violating in an imperceptibly fast way, like a quick shot from the doctor (Daniel, obviously).
About an hour ago I sat casually without a timer and started prodding my chakras gently with my attention. After a few minutes of that I switched to some mindful noticing and quickly found myself in the most intense A&P of my life. It had all the phenomena I've come to know and love from an A&P, and more. It felt almost (but not quite) formless due to the decreased sense of self. Also, the lights I saw were of more various colors than I'm used to seeing, and at times I felt almost completely overcome by the intense vibrations and the sight of fluxing clouds of color.
I believe I just hit the A&P for second path. I remain open to the possibility I'm deluding myself, but I do have some reasons to believe my quick progress is possible: I have very seriously made the intention to go to 4th path, I do various energetic and meditation practices in high dosages in order to get at the thing from every angle, I've read MCTB at least twice, I've read a good amount of Daniel's reading list, I try to follow instructions to a tee, I put in a lot of effort, and I'm very young. Although, I have no teacher and I've never been on a retreat outside my house. Whaddayathink?
Cheers