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RE: Notes on noting

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
9/2/14 3:06 AM as a reply to Hugh Fox.
did a walking practice this morning due to prcticalities of having guests in the house.  Was actually quite good - I want to try and incorporate this into my regular practice, as I think it will help with transitioning to noting during everyday activities.

Planning, organising, judging and controlling are heroin to the mind.  It loves that shit.  My main problem is not seeing through this regularly enough and therefore living through this perspective.

Incorporating informal noting through the day is my goal for sept.

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
9/2/14 7:18 PM as a reply to Hugh Fox.
Hello, Hugh, kind regards.

I enjoy reading your "notes on noting" -- at first I read it as "notes on nothing"  :-)

Eager to see how you resolve the dual emotions you have been experiencing.  At least you do not let the affairs of life keep you away from handling affairs of the mind.

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
9/6/14 3:40 AM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
Hi Colleen, thanks for your comments - nice to see someone else reads my inane ramblings!  Notes on nothing is probably more apt...  Hope your are well.

Visitors now left, and although I managed to 'hang in' with regards to practice I'm now looking forward to a period of more focused practice.  The vocabulary is getting refined now, but I still switch between freestyle noting as per Ken Folk & Stephen Heyes and noting using the breath as an anchor as per Mahasi.

When done well, I prefer the former, but there are days when my mind is too distracted for this to work well.  Today I used the Mahasi approach and had a pretty 'deep' sitting practice.  One of the things I am really noticing is the mind's constant desire to control experience - providing analysis, commentary and seeking to organise it into a conceptual framework.  Letting go of this, or more accurately just observing it functioning (noting it) seems likely to be my main project in the immediate future.

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
9/11/14 3:21 PM as a reply to Hugh Fox.
the twitching and rushes of energy have been almost difficult to control during this week's sittings.  I have also had a 'buzzed' feeling most days, like a kid on christmas eve.  Odd, and quite pleasant!

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
9/11/14 4:02 PM as a reply to Hugh Fox.
Well, I couldn't help but pick up on you saying "...to control..", "...to organize..".    I view to control as a positive life goal that can go sour and become compulsive and at the expense of complementary interactions.   What I mean is that for myself it has deteriorated into non-life goals such as "to enslave", to tyrannize, etc.   Of course anything that we would not wish to experience ourselves is "bad".    :-)

I love reading your practice posts and always have this good visualization that all these compulsions -- with continued sitting -- will come out in the wash, to use an idiom.   I like that you see when you are sitting that your mind is not you.  This has been a great turnaround for me.

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
9/18/14 1:19 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
thank you again for commenting on these notes.  I agree that the talent mind has for organising and controlling can be a 'good' thing in the right circumstances.  The problem is when it believes it can control and organise everything!
Practice this week has been consistent and enjoyable.  I have taken to calming myself with a few minutes controlled breathing, (a 4/8 pranayama breath thing) because the energy during the sitting was getting silly!  I was twitching and spasming the whole time!

Off the cushion, I have felt quite destabilised though.  Acting in a far less cautious and conserative manner than what I normally would.  This energy has sometimes been welcome, sometimes not.  In one specific circumstance it has lead me to act in a way that are contrary to my everyday values which I will probably regret at some point.....

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
10/11/14 3:32 AM as a reply to Hugh Fox.
well, practice has been consistent and the time is increasing now with generally 40 mins sitting and then 10 mins walking.  I may look at breaking this up a bit differently to maintain concentration; sometimes my mind gets lost in content after a bit of sitting, so maybe inserting the walking in the middle may beat this.

My own mental states of late have been dominated by negative thoughts and feelings and a feeling of remoteness from things I value - like family and work and friends etc.  I'm sure many factors contribute to this, but on the cushion I plan on adding in a short metta-bhavana practice to try and integrate some 'heart' stuff into all the insight practice.  It's all well and good having insights and understanding but you need to live in the world too...

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
10/11/14 5:59 AM as a reply to Hugh Fox.
Good morning, Hugh.   My time stamp says you posted this at 4:32 am.  A great way to start the day.

I have been likewise feeling rather flat and realized it could be the result of systematically killing my thirst for sensation coupled with not quite enough metta or creative visualization.  

Could it be that the things we used to "get off on" just don't do it for us quite the same way?   Why, I can't even get up a good craving for chocolate anymore since I did some insight into it -- took it apart I did.  

However, when I go into thankfulness, that has certainly increased and expanded to being thankful for my whole life -- with tears still streaming down my cheek.   It also finally occurred to me to ask my "astralized" mom for forgiveness, when I kept thinking she should be anytime now asking me for forgiveness.  Relationships are starting to become more important than the diminishing love of the quest for sensational desires.  I actually have a scaled chart of sensations that is being checked off.

"How does life seem to you now?" is one of my self-enquiry questions when I feel funky.

I am demanding of my sit time that I get this funky feeling resolved -- or else I would question my practice, I suppose as you are.

kind regards,
colleen

RE: Notes on noting
Answer
10/11/14 1:10 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
thanks again for replying - I appreciate the comments....  Our time zones must be different though!  I was still fast asleep at 4.30 am - probably wrote this at 8.30 or thereabouts - weekend lie-in.

Yes, you may be right that I have analysed the enjoyment out of things.  Unfortunately at the moment this isn't just for previously harmless vices like chocolate, (or the local beer from the micro-brewery down the lane in my case) but also family life and pretty much everything that makes life meaningful.  I hope this is a temporary glitch, and some more emotionally-based practices may sort me out!

The "how does life seem to you now..." question is what I needed to hear. I can get sucked into things sometimes.  This brings me back to what's important. To be honest, right now it seems like a lot of hassle to get over and done with.  Time for some changes methinks....

Hope you are well & best wishes