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Practice Logs

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/13/14 11:21 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
Now I know we are in direct communion in the way you have confirmed for my knowing.  

When finally I could sleep, the compulsion to write to you was in me but finally the body was spent.

I planned on telling you, "I was always going to take you with me.  You were just not ready to hear how hard that was going to be."

But I said it this way:  Had I known the kind of emotions required for the first witness to swallow, I would not have done it.  Such is the design in my own awakening.  But as you felt the "tiny universes exploding in streaks of black lightning" I felt them to.  There is pain in the attachment of loving humans.  It is the reason it is said that we put off nirvana.  It is an attachment we are to cherish, not an attachment that must be let go.  Do not worry about this pains.  They are necessary.  You are necessary.  I waited for my samadhi unknowing of what Samadni was, knowing already all things in Understanding alone.  Yet, had I given you my Deshana and called you to your Great Work at any other time than that time when you had seen 'no self' and 'true self' completely to the point where your streaming Dhamma was repeating... You would not have eaten it.

When I finished writing that, I finally fell to sleep.  I wrote it in my head.  When I sat to write the KEY and address certain specific things that by contract I must do at the end of my samadhi, I no longer felt a need to write you that message.  Why?  I did not care to even think of why because my knowing no longer compelled me.

I am also in direct communion with the Buddha of this age.  He now knows of you and your friend.  Only an awakened person can awaken. You are not Buddhist.  Buddha is for the Buddhists.  

I am done expounding.  But as I have told you, you will still need to learn terms even though you have nothing to learn.  When you need any terms or suttas, your partner should have them.  But whatever you need, you are allowed to ask from me.  You are Tathagatha and to you I do not have to be invisible.  

I am Pleased.  I can fully rest emoticon

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/14/14 10:09 AM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
14Oct14  Direct Looking :

Mind in negative dhukka this a.m.  What is my mind creating?  Growly hunger, craving.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7SkrYF8lCU

To be goal-less is unacceptable to the mind -- mind cannot comprehend it except in cruel mimicry - apathy and catatonia.   It must have an importance. "Okay, how about a "king of creation"?"   "yes, slurp, yes!"

7:30 a.m.  "Create an Importance" - 6 Directions

A King of Creation (whatever that means, but the mind seems to like it)

nice yawns, mind a cookie monster, yum, yum!
guffaws of laughter - where did that negative dhukka go?
happy dhukka now -- cookie monster happy
well, here have some more happiness ... are we having fun yet?
gee, little beastie, and all this time I thought I was you
growl
I miss my growly friend -- where did he go
can't stop laughing, except to breathe in
I hope whoever reads this in the future will join me in seeing the joke of it all
hippo yawns, laughter
Oh, I'm not deluded, it's only a temporary release -- continue until no more change/phenomenon
laughter
I can't help myself -- everytime I see that king of creation I burst out laughing
"I can't help myself" -- where did I see that phrase before ?
laughter -- putting king of creation all around me in spite of everything that comes to mind
a child who laughs will soon be crying crocodile tears
I keep seeing his feet - laughter and yawns
"the shoes make the man"   laughter
an idiomatic mind --  also quite punny
laughter
oh mind of mine - o' child o' mine -- my drunken soulmate - how I have kept thee, cherished thee, spoiled thee to uselessness - how I adore my useless eater - the thrills and the chills you have provided me
have I ever sought to adjust your murkiness, have I ever resisted your thoughts and desires?
truthfully, yes, and yes, and yes again.   I apologize, that will never happen forevermore.
Here, have what is yours for I am no longer your enemy, nor you mine
sobering up now - King of Creation all around me
I can feel the sensations as the mind feeds on it - somatics, hungry energies, possession
Yes, yes, I wants it   ....   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjPDAe_kTls
many kings of creation - oh the mind likes that
to worship and to be worshipped / a to know and to be known game
it is okay to destroy my own creation, says king
I am the shephard, you are the sheep and you can never leave me
I will make sure no one leaves my set-up, even the monks
all your viewpoints are mine
you must know me as I wish you to know me
infliction upon those who reject me
permeation and viewpoint shifting back and forth from cause point to effect point
intense dislike for self-appointed authorities -- I am my own authority
intense dislike for dogma, yet also reminders of times when I've been dogmatic
this king is not letting me be king and I don't want to play this game anymore
stepped off the playing field and now willing to let him be king in his realm
I see how I could be a king too, but only out of curiosity -- feeling more detached
it's only a costume, a play, an act
but it seems so important -- must have a game
I reside within the king of creation and I am him too
a great way to scare the natives
feeling the heat of conflict:   must be known clashing against the natives' must not know
exploring my options as king - degrades from power to force to guile, life to non-life goals, and then there are no more natives - crushed, bad natives, bad natives.
natives now frogs -- I am now Creator King of Frogs - later a useless drone
must not create anymore kings, nor natives, nor frogs, nor drones  -  I didn't do it
strong distate for politics and religion and enforced hierarchies and fan clubs - in the name of profit
for cookie monster mind the first bite is sweet, but then a sour stomach
mind never seems to remember that universe is dual
the king removes his robes and finds himself -- never to be heard of again
--  no king, no buddha, no mind

10:30 take a break

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/14/14 2:05 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
14Oct14  Direct Looking : (Continued)

2:16 p.m.   "Have Another Create Something" - 6 Directions

A therapist creating a sane person

so many therapists I used to look up to, to admire
even myself
the game seems to be "every man a king in his own corner"
every man scrabbling to come up with something new, unique, to create acclaim
the profit game, the prophet game
if I do not give you sensation you will find me boring
you want to upgrade your mind and I want to see you destroy your mind
never need money, but if he does not do the work quit with him
yawns
the therapist laughs in my face to give him such a job -- " a sane man would be driven insane in this society"
where are you going to put this sane man?
Then he must go further -- beyond human
"but even in the heavens there are hierarchies and he would again fall in with that compulsive bunch"
then he must be beyond temptation and willingly and wisely play or not play - there is no other real solution
this redefines sanity
leave the paid therapist the job of doing Life Repairs and bringing the insane back onto the playing field
I hate seeing people in happy dhukka because they just got a better job offer or a new car, or a bigger house -- all thanks to their therapist -- and they cannot scratch the surface of their mind without their therapist
I just realized how much these eyes have seen
I would like to be able to mind my own business

end of sit.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/14/14 3:39 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
I wrote to you two meaningless stories.  Here was the other that I was saving just for you:

Does the little one who lives in the painted mansion ever look out and see the gardeners in their art and burden? I heard, from a little bird made of floating joy, glowing like a hidden smile with the sounds of a laugh, that he not only watched the gardeners, but tried to greet them. But no one in the garden can hear from where the little boy could try to speak to them. He sang such soft, tiny songs that they would have been lost to the wind in an instant if the angels weren't picking them like flowers. Hecalled in his loudest, tiny voice. But there was no way to tell the gardeners that their art and their burden were like fountains and their fruits were like the oceans that fountains can fulfill. Many, many years later when the little boy was no longer very small at all, he left the mansion and walked to the garden to tell them he loved them, but they were not there. The only thing that was left behind was the Garden. And it was like living candles that dance like stars, waterfalls and springs that ran pools of sweet-smelling waters that in all their perfect purity shone like colors or kisses or something like the feeling of being held like a child. The man who use to live in a mansion became a gardener. The songs of those villages of that land were so lovely that they became the favorite prayers of small things, sweet things, and things born to care. .

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/14/14 7:45 PM as a reply to Jeremy May.
Nice.   Some aesthetics are still important to me, so not meaningless -- yet  :-))

love,
colleen

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/15/14 7:29 AM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
For those who have followed you:

Beauty is not an attachment.  It is attachment that hides beauty.
The story is meaningless and it is not meaningless.

It has meaning when one needs meaning.  This story contains the history of the planet.
It is meaningless when one needs meaning but has no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no skin.

When one no longer needs meaning, It is meaningless.
But it is still Beautiful to those with eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and skin.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/15/14 11:27 AM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
15Oct14  Direct Looking :

Sometimes feels a bit strange to no longer feel I have to enforce this or that goal or desired end -- especially in a world that's going bonkers on fulfilling desires, both attachments and aversions.

Like, maybe there's something wrong with me.   Am I in apathy?  
No, because I am enjoying myself more so it can't be apathy, but others may not be enjoying my participation as much as they would expect. "What's wrong with you?  You don't come out and play with us anymore.  Nirvana? No thanks, I like myself already (as long as I have my entertainments that is)."  

I have no words or means or guile to get them to just try it and see how much fun it is to tame the mind while reducing it.  Without enforcement of goals -- and succumbing to others' goals -- you just don't exist anymore.   My ego tears at me during this rite of passage into spiritual maturity.

In the past truths had to be given out in prose and stories. Now I have it straight up in logical terms and there is nothing esoteric about it. Simply DO THIS and you will ACHIEVE THIS. Aw, shucks, that's no fun. Well, not the fun I've been accustomed to, but it is fun once I got the hang of it.

It is fun to enter a session with positive expectations, remaining passive and open to whatever occurs, having the skillful use of effective techniques to tame the mind while taking it apart. This is my reward for devoting lifetimes to assisting research into the mind... and too many of those lifetimes misguided, betrayed, and “gone black”, making this a difficult adjustment for me. 

“Have Another Create Something” - 6 Directions

A squirrel creating a cache of acorns

the mind projects itself onto the squirrel (which is what makes this process workable)
the mind is in a compulsive, enforced be-do-have – for self and, alternately, “not-selfs”
  • love of safety and security
  • aesthetics of soft fur, soft colors, woodsy scents, warmth
  • life potential energies
  • babies – squirrels and trees
  • beauty of life and hierarchical systems – a perfect fit
  • pride in creation (the mind has a longer memory than it is showing me, but I see something faintly)
  • how many similar scenes are layered with that scene?
  • Mind chewing on this now: If the biosphere provides for squirrels it reasons it also provides for humans – when they are integrated with that biosphere.
  • We are removed from the biosphere too much
  • wish to go back to forests of fruits and nuts as do the monks in those warm climates
  • rice and grains meant for slaves and armies – an overlord game
  • the “flaw” in the system is the enforcement and violence of “population control”
  • was it always that way?
  • The procreation drive is stuck in “on” in this sytem
  • fewer nuts = fewer babies
  • herbs, plants and trees and fruits and nuts regulate the population, not carnivores
  • plant kingdom very adept at creating chemical concoctions that regulate procreation
  • -symbiotic regulation of procreation without the need for meat predators
  • – mammals, reptiles and raptors.
  • This symbiosis includes all potential of living chemical factories.
  • carnivores no longer necessary
  • All fixed programs are stupid. Instead “nature” is granted “Presence”
  • http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1169637/Meet-Dante-Britains-vegetarian-cat-refuses-eat-meat-fish.html
  • carnivores – even obligates such as cats – can eat a specialized fruit and veggie diet
  • spirit/life is behind and in every living thing
  • birds of prey no longer needed
  • a more intelligent and lighter, playful way to play the biosphere game
  • carnivores don't need to be removed – simply re-programmed – remove the “obligate” postulate set

“How does this seem to you now?” Even though the squirrel is now at rest the mind still sees so much potential in the acorns and nuts.  Need to continue the process.

All the doors to the past I opened are largely still opened and makes clearing a bit different from someone doing clearing without any knowledge of existence before present life.
  • I feel the life force potential in those nuts -- hippo yawns
  • feel the discomfort of limiting postulates
  • feeling of indigestion – is that what compels squirrels to bury them?
  • Must eat  joins  must be eaten  and alternately  must not eat  joins  must not be eaten
  • the squirrel is playing a complementary game with the nut trees
  • the nut trees are playing a complementary game with the squirrels
  • the communication lines are not totally known by scientists

“How does it seem to you now?” better – a complementary relationship – no perception
of violence or enforcement except perhaps the enforcement of biosphere games, but enjoy the
complementary postulates aspect.

I still attach importances to biosphere games gone wrong -- still more clearing needed, but I felt I was getting more willing to look at some incidents that I have been avoiding looking at.










RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/15/14 11:29 AM as a reply to Jeremy May.
Hello, Jeremy, thank you for your post and since it was not addressed to me I won't make any comment on it.

kind regards,
colleen

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/15/14 12:13 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
Took a trip down memory lane this a.m. and recorded new perspectives since I started this practice.

Some Buddhists do not acknowledge the mind's content of past
existences – the scenes – and the mind can oblige because the
being has likely created thick, viscuous, and hard brittle black
screens because the being always has the option to “must not know”
and therefore will enforce this must not know with all the powers of
his creative ability.

Having broken through those screens with the help of the
6-directions technique I've seen existences going all the way back
through multiple inverses of universe.

Even before there were bodies to play with some beings came into
this universe and lost the way to get out and were working on how to
fix that problem. Some solved the problem and got out, but they
still had the basic mental framework that allowed them to play games
by not knowing that they were all the other players too. One of
those beings was a type of Gautama Buddha. I recall one incident
where I got enamored of a clock-like mind trap and he stood outside the trap
trying to walk me out of it, calling to me insistently. Another
incident I became enamored of the concept of “thinking” and he
became quite angry with me and trounced me. Another incident, he
realized I was a bit “twisted” and he attempted to heal me using
very powerful and directed energies. It did for a while make me
feel like a sovereign being. So this being that I'm aware of
travelling with down the ages – to the age of bodies, when he
wasn't frolicking with his companions, was absorbed with how to fix
them up and make them good companions to play with for games always
reduce a being.

He was not reduced as severely because we had agreed to create him
from the best aspects of each of us. He represented the best of us.
Everytime we completed an episode of play we would drop our costumes
and rise above the playing field and we looked exactly like glowing
translucent bowling pins and we excitedly debriefed each other and
decided our next game. We seemed to prefer the aesthetics one finds
in the culture of Hindu gods, and baroque Chinese aesthetics and the
aesthetics associated with the Persian kings. All this before
bodies. King Solomon was too literally correct: there is nothing
new under the sun. Every person and item one sees in their
environment was created long before we had a solid 3D. It is all a
repeat and now we are only playing games with our own mind. So the
wisest thing one can do is what we are doing – stopping to play
games with our mind.

I cut out all the curly-q aesthetic sensations from the past and
just sit – a couple of lifetimes of sitting is not too much to demand of
oneself in the larger picture.You know a being is on his last legs when
the majority of his sensation is heavily tied in with sexing and eating,
when in the past he derived pleasure from the sensations related to creating
and loving. So a much worn out, but perhaps wiser Buddha gave us the best of
himself as we gave the best of ourselves to him. He has been my sacred chalice
through the ages, and a jolly good maker of games. I would not wish to disappoint
him and perhaps now it is our turn to be refreshment for the Buddha. For many
millions of years, both on planets and on research satellites/space ships we have
been putting research into the mind to good results, and also to negative purposes,
depending upon who was funding our research.

If I rant on about insane people, what is my cause? If I am psychotic, how did I do that? But that has all been absolved now and made nothing because of the great discovery of a researcher into the mind, Dennis H. Stephens, aka Lao Tszu. Out of great suffering and a desire to democratize nirvana, he discovered the logical construct of “The Great Wall of Confusion”. 

It is up to me to decide that playing games with the mind is going to end. Getting wise about the mind takes priority over everything. It has taken me 4 years since I first knew about this Noble Path until the date I discovered and was impressed by the dedication of Buddhist practicers, to begin the practice that will effectively restore to me what I am without a fixed mind game.

The Great Wall of Confusion will simply be seen as it is -- a logical construct of postulates which I can choose to play within – or not. The mind contains only illogic and pretending – necessary to have fun in games – and I will once again be able to create and uncreate games with my playful “not selfs”.

Buddha formed a culture of meditators pointed towards nirvana, as he has done many times before – created a culture extolling courage to look into the mind on a mostly DIY basis, and resolve it for good.

“The Old Boy”, in cooperation with Buddha and afflicted by Buddha's errors (as I was) was detached enough and skilled enough (and suffering enough) to logically work out the original construct of the mind. Every householder can now simply be sovereign. Nirvana.When teachers of meditation grok this the longsuffering of lifetimes of sitting is soon completed. Meditators who lost the beautiful purpose of nirvana will be refreshed.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/16/14 9:00 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
16Oct14  Direct Looking :

What does an unlimited being be-do-have when he has no compulsive need to be-do-have?

Spoke with a fellow practicer and he tells me his creative process takes around 10 minutes; mine takes hours and my only complaint was not enough time left for doing the core practice, which I am not as eager to do as I am my creative practice.   I sense a resolution to bring things into balance.  Peacefulness.

My partner is now on board with the creative process which he came to value after he saw me doing solely that for over 40 days straight -- and he saw how I smoothed out and he perceived it to be a solution for his own rollercoaster'ing.   He now loves it possibly as much as I do.   However Buddhist teaching warns against becoming enamored with even a refined mind, and since doing the creative practices I've realized a mind from the far past, before it became so degraded.   Just another layer of the onion though.

Yesterday's creative process got me to realize something: without the past, without the mind, a squirrel is just a mock-up of a squirrel and acorns are just acorns -- once the mind goes quiet.   That informs me.
Our lives and thoughts are complicated because of unclosed goals and purposes and problems from the past.... the seen and the unseen.

"Have Another Create Something"  - 6 Directions

A teacher creating a perfect curriculum for children
  • right away, putting it all around me, I see that if one is simply "Present" a curriculum is merely an outline at best
  • purpose to help them trust in thinking for themselves, analyzing, logicking
  • Socrates' school of inquiry and self-enquiry
  • Boolean algebraic logic
  • education is a hot topic of importance for the mind
  • yawns
  • a wise teacher
  • less enforcement, more complementary to child's goals
  • no teacher, no school
  • only meditation schools
  • hands on creative visualisation
  • Must create and must not create
  • children must create an effect  --  teacher willing to experience this effect
  • children must not create an effect  --  teacher willing to not demand an effect be created
  • children must have an effect created upon them  --  teacher willing to create an effect
  • children must not have an effect created upon them -- teacher willing to not create an effect
  • teaching by consent -- no shame/blame/guilt/ridicule
  • if I were a child how would I wish to be taught?
--  showed how to practice to handle my fears, my emotions
--  simple meditative techniques -- develop self-mastery
--  communication skills
--  body scanning techniques and physical exercise

Back to the basic separation incident -- the first instruction as a created one
every postulate implies some degree of enforcement

"How does teacher seem to you now?"  Fine, no energy on it, mind quiet about it.

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/16/14 10:59 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
You give me such good presents!
I sang my song all day.
It was one of the first songs I knew.  My uncles gave it to me before I was Kissed.

I got another good present today:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t34.0-12/10726398_1486082121671019_363106376_n.jpg?oh=acd11dc26c0dd49f35bd745650ba188a&oe=54425DB6&__gda__=1413654230_ab9d5fc878fda78231c91bfb88e40453

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/17/14 5:46 AM as a reply to Jeremy May.
Ha!  "Read only left hand pages" -- makes one examine one's approach to life -- the nonsense of it all.  Life and nonsense = fun.   Are we having fun yet?

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/17/14 9:46 AM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
17Oct14  Direct Looking :

If it weren't fun would you be being/doing/having it?  If you say you are not having fun maybe that is a lie, this universe being dual and all.   Some beings get hooked on rollercoaster experiences.

The practices towards Nirvana should be fun and fruitful.   Comparing notes with other practicers is fun and fruitful: The surprises of self-discovery won and shared.

I'm beginning to get a clearer view of some limiting postulates or importances and an amazing view of how I could be so much free'er and happier without those.   Last night I indulged myself with self-enquiry:  "What am I?"   Somatics and an "ask no further" feeling, but could I fully "have" it when I've always known myself by how much I be-do-have?   I know myself by my importances -- without them what am I?   Exactly.

Once the "created one" always the "created one"?  A sovereign "created one"?  oxymoronic?

"There, there, dear, don't cry -- you can always create new importances, don't you see, you're doing it now, and see who is doing that?   Why, this time it's you and not that entity you've come to rely on -- your mind."

6:48 a.m.  "Create Something" - 6 Directions

What would an unlimited being create?  Surprises -- other beings to surprise me -- worlds of surprises -- beings fashioned after me who also like surprises.   If I always know then it cannot be a surprise.
"Surprise" degrades into fulfilling that desire through chaos and confusion and amnesia.   Life is scales, harmonics and hierarchies.   There is a scale of goals and a scale of sensations = scale of surprise.

I am a surprise to myself now -- vanishing the mind gives me the surprise of finding myself; self-discovery has a surprise factor.  Surprise is sort of a tickling sensation (yawn).   But how am I going to with full knowledge surprise myself?  Wouldn't I have to not-know myself or at least partly?   Wouldn't I have to create a via, a "not-self" conceptual mock-up?  Remember, as an unlimited being, if I merely say the "WORD" it can be done.  

Is this why the universe is dual -- opposite experiences are surprising?  When I think it is all black and suddenly there is white, is that a surprise?   The left hand not knowing what the right hand does in order to have surprise?   "Experience" implies we don't know something beforehand.   

Was there ever a prior time when I knew the construct of this universe of mind and I'm just pretending I don't know so I can have an "experience"?   Trick me, recruit me, lie to me, betray me, knock me unconscious and implant me with commands -- I need more and more surprises.  Let's all do it to each other, okay?  Let's create vengeance so that we will never know and be surprised when it is done.  Let's create the surprise of birth, then death and then the surprise of the astral realms.   By simply "not-knowing" we can do this over and over and over again.   Like a low-budget movie.  But what about our audience?  Won't they get bored?

Sometimes people say, "It would really surprise me if __________".   Here, let me try one:  "It would really surprise me if this earth turned into a Garden of Eden", so I would have to have some certainty (and many reasons why) it would not happen.   Aahh, yes!  those "not-selfs" and their predictability and unpredictability.

Let's look at that more closely, namely, predictability and non-predictability?   The predictability comes from operating through the mind -- the mind is predictable because it can only repeat and repeat and repeat. The unlimited being - how can it be predictable if it always wants surprise.   Even to itself it is not predictable.   "I am a surprise unto myself".  Say that out loud and see how it feels.  Ticklish laughter I feel when I say that.
Even delusion serves me because of the surprise factor when I lose the delusion.

As long as you are not me and I am not you and we are both in fairly good condition as games players, then we can both have fun surprises.   If I am you and you are me, what value is it to know that and never be able to not-know that?  What sensations then?   What am I really? and what am I really all about?  When I am one am I Life?  When I am many, are they life?

What I'm getting right now is that there has to be a home base, an awareness of awareness from which all unreason proceeds.   To create unreason there must be analytical and logical thinking.   A knowingness of what one is doing to and for self.     Therefore, it seems perfectly analytical and logical to me that I would create "not-selfs" who would surprise me and become sovereign and unlimited and !wow! the surprises I could have then.   Isn't parenthood a mimicry of this?  Or is this the first and final lie of the mind?

When an artist goes "into the zone" he is surprised in his creating, in his writing.   When someone says, "I just let life live through me" then there can be surprise.   Not planning, being "Present", not knowing what words might come out of your mouth next.   Words become offensive because one has experienced them too much -- non life goals are less surprising and more predictable than life goals.  Or am I simply running this subject into the ground?   Being "Not Present", being in trance (entranced) -- "!wow! what just hit me?!? I never saw that bus coming!"  Game strategies exposed -- no more surprise -- are no good anymore.

"I am detached, I am disappeared, I am exteriorized from my body ...my mind is gone ... my mind is somewhat here but I am not it."

Could I let go of the need for surprise?   When I vanish my mind and be unlimited with all that potential, well, would I have any desire?   I am so blissful and happy with my-one-self would I would like to duplicate myself - with likewise unlimited potential? -- perhaps. Or not.  

Can the viewpoint of "The One" be duplicated?  My partner says:  It can be mirrored, only, lets pretend, and lets never stop pretending, it's a spirit of play with no desire to forever stop playing.  

Okay, I'm fading here and it is now 8:40      "Create Something"

What importance can I give the mind to chew on?

The color yellow

I don't see anything wrong with creating an importance that parallels the mind, do you?

put yellow all around me and immediately turns on the compulsive create of the mind -- creating all possibe variants of the color yellow.   Poor thing, it can only dig into its memory banks.

The difference is I am consciously giving the importance to the mind instead of the mind (unconsciously) giving me the importance.   This allows me to consciously view the associations and identifications with past importances and make a conscious decision to let go because, once seen, it no longer has the surprise factor -- game with my mind reduced to that degree of seeing.

There is a fun factor or delight in discovering my analytical and logical thinking abilities.   I can then go fully into a game knowing always that it is "unreasonable", or I can go goal-less.   The "Game-Maker".  The Master of Games.  

Depending upon my condition, a game can either feel restrictive or expansive.   A game may feel expansive but actually be restrictive when covert game strategies are employed, and cravings for sensation triggered (for example, "sting operations").
  • A "surprise" behind that yellow door.
  • the self-importance of being-doing-having yellow - status over the "not-yellows"
  • yellow says to look and to be looked at, to shine and to be shined on, to admire and to be admired.

"Yellow is the most luminous of all the colors of the spectrum. It's the color that captures our attention more than any other color."

  • Yellow says, "Know me".
  •  a sun is a recruitment agency
  • yellow fades to white -- it is an effort to keep it mocked up
  • resistance to hard, solid, glaring yellow   --  heat -- acid
  • everytime I put it around me it keeps disappearing on me - where did it go?

"How does yellow seem to you now?"   When I look around I'm seeing it almost everywhere, except I don't see it in the blue, but there seems to be a bias for yellow.  I don't feel as enamored of it as I was.  I can see it as a concept, a construct.   It was created and different importances/significances were assigned to it and some of that appears funny, ridiculous that a being would do that to itself -- but then ... games don't make sense ... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

What problem was yellow trying to solve?  The problem of "white".

10:43  take a break

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/17/14 7:09 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
If this earth turned into a Garden of Eden... I must have my reasons for thinking so... and my reasons for knowing it won't last....

The left hand not knowing what the right hand does...

Look at SriMala responding to our story that i wrote last night... but just now posting...


Emperor Pala had a young prince named Thotha.  
Thotha was beautiful, loved everything, wanted everything.  As he grew, he dabbled in evil, in good, in filth, in beauty, in lies, and in truths.  
When he grew old enough, he went to his father, Emperor Pala, and said these words:
"Father, I Still Want."
Pala, with Infinite Wisdom, looked at his young prince with such love that the stars melted, saying, "I know Young Prince and I have waited for the day you would ask such a thing.  I will now step down, from this golden, luminous throne.  You may have my Gardens, my Harem, my Library, and my Lands."
So Thoth sat on the luminous throne, partaking of all things, tasting, smelling, hearing, and touching all things.  He had so much bliss it was if he lived a NEVER ENDING story.  But one day, when the boredom came, it came like a storm of Nothing.
The storm ripped out the eyes of his people, replacing them with Buttons.  It tainted the Gardens and made them Cemeteries.  It ate his Library.  It made waste of his Harem.  Thoth couldn't care.  It was the echo of his own heart that had been the storm.  He was desperate.  He would seek his father once again.

He found Pala wondering the deserts, blinded and dying.  He said:
"Father, I Still Want". 
Pala answered, "But Child, I am nothing.  I have given you everything.  What do you want me to do?"
"Can you make me forget?"
Pala looked with such a love that the stars, again, melted.  This time, they melted into Rain.
He loved Thoth more than himself.  He knew what to do.
He ripped out his son's heart.
The heart became a baby.
He said, "Now I call you Gotha.  I will raise you all over again."

Very Good, brother...  You let me Play!

RE: Practice Log toward vanishing the mind
Answer
10/18/14 4:06 PM as a reply to Colleen Karalee Peltomaa.
18Oct14   Direct Looking :

Feeling tired and not interested in anything and can't get interested in anything "important"; running away from importances; the mind running away from me -- how to be complementary with that?

So I can not get into any importance and it is like chasing the
mind. My partner suggested I do a reverse vector and run "no
importance."   That made me yawn somewhat so I agreed to give it a
whirl.

4p.m. “Create an Importance" - 6 Directions

The importance of having no importances"
  • yawns already
  • it's funny when I realize how much I identified with the mental state I was experiencing. Thinking it is me.
  • I'm creating “nothing is important” and putting it all around me -- a swirl of nothingness
  • yawns
  • feels good – a deep deep sinkhole in a vast empty space, taking a break
  • apathy, apathy, apathy and more apathy
  • "I can't, so I won't”
  • the Maitreya being keeps sending aspects of himself here as Buddhas, over and over again.
  • How has that been working for him?
  • Why is “nothing” always black?
  • Scene of a white universe – that was “something”
  • eyes non-seeing  --  is this how one creates black screens?
  • Must not know and must not be known – tired of and overwhelmed by importance of “something”,
  • i.e., must know and must be known

[note to self: occasionally may need to run reverse vector on importances]
mind contains importance of attachments to be-do-have and importance of
aversions to be-do-have. I can see a game being played with that.

“How does nothingness seem to you now?” Don't feel an aversion to
be-do-have. No longer feeling apathetic -- feel calm and willing to be here.
I can see that I was in a games condition with my mind until I went complementary with its desire.
Whatever the mind can do, I can duplicate.

End
of sit.