14Oct14 Direct Looking :Mind in negative dhukka this a.m. What is my mind creating? Growly hunger, craving.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7SkrYF8lCUTo be goal-less is unacceptable to the mind -- mind cannot comprehend it except in cruel mimicry - apathy and catatonia. It must have an importance. "Okay, how about a "king of creation"?" "yes, slurp, yes!"
7:30 a.m.
"Create an Importance" - 6 Directions
A King of Creation (whatever that means, but the mind seems to like it)
nice yawns, mind a cookie monster, yum, yum!
guffaws of laughter - where did that negative dhukka go?
happy dhukka now -- cookie monster happy
well, here have some more happiness ... are we having fun yet?
gee, little beastie, and all this time I thought I was you
growl
I miss my growly friend -- where did he go
can't stop laughing, except to breathe in
I hope whoever reads this in the future will join me in seeing the joke of it all
hippo yawns, laughter
Oh, I'm not deluded, it's only a temporary release -- continue until no more change/phenomenon
laughter
I can't help myself -- everytime I see that king of creation I burst out laughing
"I can't help myself" -- where did I see that phrase before ?
laughter -- putting king of creation all around me in spite of everything that comes to mind
a child who laughs will soon be crying crocodile tears
I keep seeing his feet - laughter and yawns
"the shoes make the man" laughter
an idiomatic mind -- also quite punny
laughter
oh mind of mine - o' child o' mine -- my drunken soulmate - how I have kept thee, cherished thee, spoiled thee to uselessness - how I adore my useless eater - the thrills and the chills you have provided me
have I ever sought to adjust your murkiness, have I ever resisted your thoughts and desires?
truthfully, yes, and yes, and yes again. I apologize, that will never happen forevermore.
Here, have what is yours for I am no longer your enemy, nor you mine
sobering up now - King of Creation all around me
I can feel the sensations as the mind feeds on it - somatics, hungry energies, possession
Yes, yes, I wants it ....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjPDAe_kTlsmany kings of creation - oh the mind likes that
to worship and to be worshipped / a to know and to be known game
it is okay to destroy my own creation, says king
I am the shephard, you are the sheep and you can never leave me
I will make sure no one leaves my set-up, even the monks
all your viewpoints are mine
you must know me as I wish you to know me
infliction upon those who reject me
permeation and viewpoint shifting back and forth from cause point to effect point
intense dislike for self-appointed authorities -- I am my own authority
intense dislike for dogma, yet also reminders of times when I've been dogmatic
this king is not letting me be king and I don't want to play this game anymore
stepped off the playing field and now willing to let him be king in his realm
I see how I could be a king too, but only out of curiosity -- feeling more detached
it's only a costume, a play, an act
but it seems so important -- must have a game
I reside within the king of creation and I am him too
a great way to scare the natives
feeling the heat of conflict: must be known clashing against the natives' must not know
exploring my options as king - degrades from power to force to guile, life to non-life goals, and then there are no more natives - crushed, bad natives, bad natives.
natives now frogs -- I am now Creator King of Frogs - later a useless drone
must not create anymore kings, nor natives, nor frogs, nor drones - I didn't do it
strong distate for politics and religion and enforced hierarchies and fan clubs - in the name of profit
for cookie monster mind the first bite is sweet, but then a sour stomach
mind never seems to remember that universe is dual
the king removes his robes and finds himself -- never to be heard of again
-- no king, no buddha, no mind
10:30 take a break