| | Really, really great question, Trent. Thanks for the open-hearted answers, everyone.
I've been contemplating this one on and off for a long time. You know, contemplating, keeping the question in mind without trying to quickly deduce an answer and be done with it once and for all.
Yesterday someone asked me just this question to my face, and I evaded, so we kind of let it be at the "always searching" stage. Of course, the question then kept nagging at me all evening. So like a good insight meditator, I watched the nagging, the desire for an answer, and so on. Something lit up for a moment, but putting it in words makes it sound a bit tacky:
What I'm looking for is the answer to this very question, "what am I looking for".
I guess it's the same pull expressed in the incomparable Douglas Adams story about the number 42 Jamie alluded to.
Constantly having to sustain a yearning, aspiration, craving even - not for anything specific really, but rather for that very yearning to be stilled on its own accord, instead of it being gratified by moving on to something else.
I got interested in Theravada because, of all the spiritual teachings I've known so far, it's the one which tackles just this one point in the most blunt, matter-of-fact way. I've found Daniel's exposition of these teachings in MCTB to be very congenial to my taste and mode of spirituality. So here at the DhO, I'm looking for (and finding in abundance, I might add!) the companionship of people with a similar, practice-oriented bent on dealing with the question of what we're looking for.
Cheers, Florian |