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10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path

10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/6/18 1:59 PM
I've just finished a 10 Goenka retreat. For those that do not know me, so far I'm pretty sure I'm 2nd path. You can see the posts here:

First path
Second path
After second

Last year I did a 9 day home retreat which produced insights but no paths (although I'm pretty sure I crossed the AP).
This year I didn't meditate so much as other years, I found myself solving a lot of other issues in my life.

About the retreat:
The first two days I regretted going on the retreat (I didn't remember it being so heavy on the sitting schedule). At the end of the 2nd day I had a pretty strong jhana experiences and the rest of the day I found myself cycling through the stages and wandering with curiosity about what I could get done.

On the 3rd day I felt relieved, and I began making plans for after the retreat. I had this "done" sensation, everything seemed a brighter and clearer. I guess I had some kind of reset or something (if it was a fruition it was not a path).

From day 4 to 5 I began to notice sensations, but lots (really lots) of memories about the past came to mind when meditating. I let them do their thing. Nothing happened until the 6th day.

On the 6th day, I was noticing sensations and I began switching my awareness to the sounds outside (birds, other meditators moving, etc) and inside (my breath sensations) back and forth. It became clear that there was a "cloud" that followed awareness.
The cloud moved really slow, trying to catch up with awareness. It also keep coming back to me and doing a lot effort.
It was an "aha" moment seeing this thing (I never guessed that so much effort was put in this distortion).
It also had a lot of qualities of failed control.
Physically I was still (not moving at all), and I said to myself, I have to get rid of this thing. It was more of a disgust feeling about the cloud. Of course I realized I was making the cloud.

So, I looked for the feelings, or processes that maked up the cloud and tried to relax them. I felt a lot of deep compassion for me, for whatever parts of myself that kept doing that thing.
Awareness stopped switching and located in my head and chest and I began relaxing.
Whatever I was doing was working (the cloud was diminishing), but at some point I saw a strong light and felt like I was split in two (starting in the head) but continuing in all the body in light. After that I couldn't concentrate or even meditate. It was disolution, but I didn't think it was the disolution for the 3rd path.

Day 6, 7, 8 and 9 I couldn't concentrate or do anything. But I didn't try to do anything. I continued to feel some deep compassion for myself, for my doubts and problems, for all the things that make me human.
When I closed my eyes I had weird images about all the things that I feared. I had bizarre thoughts and I thought I was becoming crazy.
On day 8 I kind of sensed a restriction, like some force stopping me. I said to myself, re-observation.

On day 9, all of the sudden (I was doing nothing at all), concentration went to the middle of the head (behind my eyes). I could feel like a point concentrating all my awareness, all of myself in a tiny point. The last thing I remember (and feel) was like a "crack" or a pop in that point. I opened my eyes and they were wet (they werent wet before the pop).

I felt awake, really awake. The fog was gone. It was late, the Goenka audio was putting everyone to sleep, and I was with my eyes opened like windows, the body fresh like a leaf (I was this way until the chat ended). I felt a lot of movement from the front of the head to the back.
That night, in my bed I closed my eyes, concentrated easily (I could easily concentrate in a point, which I couldn't do before), and went from jhana 1 to 4. In 4th Jhana the point in my head reappered again and I was kicked out of "infinite space". For a moment there was this feeling of pressure in the point. Then the point relaxed in incredible sensations of bliss moving from the front of the head to the back.
If it was a fruition, I couldn't notice a blip. Also it was "too blissful". It did have a reset feeling.
I could't do this before, like at all. I struggled to get jhana 1 to 4.

The next day at the morning I did the same thing (jhana 1 to 4, and the point relaxing from front to back blissfully) with almost no effort.
That day, as the waves from front to back continued during the day, I noticed that not only the fog was gone. Something changed and I feel more "sharp" all the time. Things feel more sharp, like my attention can keep with them more time, getting more light out of them. I can't emphasize enough how different (and better) perception feels.

The retreat ended (I'd like to thank all the people in the Goenka retreat for everyting).
The day after, I began realizing that the change isn't going away, even more, it's seems like getting deeper as parts of my mind realize that something fundamental has changed.

So far, I'm pretty sure it is 3rd path (time will tell).

Fundamental to getting it (I think) are some ideas and feelings about how everyone does everything out of compassion. Basically, how compassion is the driving force of everything. Also, what being human means and the suffering it involves.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/8/18 8:05 AM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
So far  change in perspective holding.

I've considered a lot of things, like the "path experience" not being third but second path (and my second path being other thing).
Also being arising and passing away.

But, 5 days after it shines like the first day. Also, I have some ideas about a lot of things that I'd like to share in case they can be useful to someone.

From my perpective now, everything is seen as "pain-compassion".
Like you have a lot of mental and physical "worlds" and some are in pain and some have compassion. So, compassion "takes action" and you do something to release the pain (like stretching a numb muscle, but in the mental world).

After some consideration, I'd like to post some ideas that I have about a "framework of awakening" (up to 3rd path or whatever emoticon).

1. There are 3 types of phenomena:
    - Hearing, seeing, tasting, etc related to the outside world. I'll call them "senses"
    - Feelings, emotions and thoughts. I'll call them "feelings"
    - Body sensations (like breathing, energies in the body, air flowing, etc). I'll call them "sensations".

2. Before 1st path all of them are seen as permanent, satisfying and self.

3. At 1st path, "senses" are seen as impermanent, not satisfying and not self
    At 2st path, "feelings" are seen as impermanent, not satisfying and not self
    At 3st path, "sensations" are seen as impermanent, not satisfying and not self

4. The AP moment is one of the 3 characteristics being fully seen at each path:
    - AP moment for 1st path is "impermanence" (anicca).
    - AP moment for 2st path is "not self" (anatta).
    - AP moment for 3st path is "suffering" (dukkha).
This corresponds OK with my experience.
For 1st path I strived with impermanence.
I remember for 2nd path going on long walks on the Gooenka retreat with feelings of joy and looking at the horizon and "sensing" the division between the outside world, myself and my emotions.
For 3rd I began feeling compassion for myself and all my mental "worlds". I had a lot of "I'm not my body" experiences that felt like "weird".
My guess is that at AP moment one characteristic is fully seen and another is "partially deduced". So experiences have a mix of two, with one dominant.

5. After the path, the mind delights in the impression that the characteristic that is fully seen.
So, after 1st path, the mind enjoys "impermanence". After 2nd, "not self". And after 3rd "suffering".
My guess is that it uses the "momentum" of the previous characteristic seen for the next path.
So 2nd path fruition is "not self - impermanence" and 3rd is "suffering - not self".

6. All this can be used for formal meditation instructions to focus on:
    - For 1st path "impermanence and senses (mostly seeing and hearing)". Use not self or suffering for path.
    - For 2nd path "not self and feelings". Use impermanence from 1st.
    - For 3rd path "suffering and body sensations (breathing, pain). Use "not self" from 2nd.

So, this is what I can come up so far. There are other things of course. Some experiences can have some qualities of higher paths.

It's all based on my experience, so it's not "a framework of awakening" (also, it doesn't contain 4th emoticon).

For me it's useful to know that the "pain-compassion-mental worlds" that I "see" right now is another thing (not the all solution).
After all "pain-compassion" is "dual".

I'll enjoy my new ability to go into mental worlds.
My mind will try to unknot the thousand knots as I switch from "senses" to "feelings" to "body sensations". Even as I experience each of the 3 phenomena as not dual, the combination of the 3 are felt dual.
I'm pretty sure they are the same thing (I've had some experiences where I feel them like that).

Another thing is that I'm really sure is this. There is no way out. After the first AP and after 1st path, the mind strives to go forward (no matter what you do, meditate or not).
I have a good explanation for this (that involves the three characteristics). It also explains the way people who have not crossed the AP experience the world. But it is not ready yet emoticon.

Hopefully all this ramble can be useful to someone. Maybe it's all deluded and misguided, and I hope I don't offend or misguide anyone. In any case, take it with a grain of salt (or lots !!!).

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/8/18 8:29 AM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
One other thing that comes to my mind:

For AP, the mind sees clearly 1 characteristic and partially deduces another one.
At each path (1, 2, 3), the mind clearly sees 2 characteristics and deduces the other.

I ran out of characteristic for 4th, so.....the reasoning is really simple:

At 4th the mind sees the 3 characteristics clearly (without deducing any of them).
My guess is that it "unifies" the three "worlds" I mentioned before (senses, feelings and body sensations).

Today I just can't stop rambling emoticon..... Reflecting on that as I write this post.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/8/18 12:31 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Still rambling emoticon.
Lets see if I can put this rambling to good use.

Seeing the 3Cs in every phenomena at the same time is really difficult. That won't fly.

So I had an idea. How about if when you get a path, you don't clearly see the 3Cs but only 2 (and the other is "partially inferred").

Daniel talks about the three doors, and each one has 2Cs.

So it would make sense that, as each path is with 2Cs, there's one missing.

Then it would make sense that, for 4th path, you need to clearly understand the one that's missing.

In my case I got 1st through the "impermanence" and "not self" door. The 1st is the senses (seeing, hearing, tasting).
The same with the 2nd (maybe that's why it was not so difficult). The 2nd is emotions and feelings.
And the 3rd was "suffering" and "not self". The 3rd is body sensations.

So, I have to see suffering in seeing and hearing (it's going to be hard because both shine a lot). I'll look for the feeling that they don't satisfy.
Also see suffering in feelings and emotions.
And see impermanence in body sensations.

Also, between "seeing, hearing, feelings and emotions" (lack suffering) and "body sensations" (lack impermanence) there should be a gap where knots would be made (because they clearly see 2 different characteristics).

Finally, I've had 2 combinations of the 3Cs in the paths. I still didn't have a "impermanence-suffering" path.

OK. I can work with this.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/8/18 7:24 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Seems like solid practice, whatever it is!  For what it's worth, now might be the time to really play around with the jhanas. See what happens! emoticon

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/9/18 1:31 PM as a reply to shargrol.
Thanks!

In my last year home retreat I was able to access the first 4 jhanas with incredible clarity. Also I could identify the nanas as they went by in a single sit.

But outside of the retreat.....I found all of this incredible difficult.

I'll play around with the jhanas and report back.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/9/18 2:05 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Still doubting about the "3rd path". I'll sum up my ideas:

- Before the blip there was a concentration of awareness in a point. This is typically AP.
- There was a blip, clearly and defined. Fruitions and paths have blips.
- AP experiences tend to fade (or change). This thing is not fading.
- There is a noticeable change in perception. Reality is more "stable" and vivid. The centerpoint of moving awareness (moving cloud) is GONE.
- Emotions, body movements, thoughts, etc are identified and seen way differently that before (without agency or at least a lot, a lot less that before).
- Basically, a lot of things that didn't "move" now "move" (including thoughts, etc). Ironically, awareness is fixed, without a centerpoint.
Before it was the other way around (things were more "still" and awareness chased them).
- Everything is sharp all the time. The thing that knows things know them all the time.
- Reality seems less solid. Not flickering, but more like grainy.

Anyway, as I said before, time will tell.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/9/18 3:24 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Okay, so this is your second time after a path with access to jhana.... Just for fun a question: have you gone through the whole "oh my head hurts" skull crushing discomfort phase after a path?

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/12/18 8:00 AM as a reply to shargrol.
I had access to some sort of jhana (1st and 2nd) even before 1st path.
Access to Jhana is improving. That said, what happened in the retreat never happened to me before.

It was 1, 2, 3, Jhana. I was never able to get to Jhana in 3 seconds and navigate through the Jhanas with ease (keeping alertness and concentration steady).

That said, it was a "retreat" feature. While I have a lot better single point concentration now, it takes some time to get to Jhana (5-10 minutes).

About the "oh my head hurts", yes, definitely, I've had them. More like a "hangover from hell thing" emoticon. Ironically, this hangover is concentration based.
I posted about this after 1st and also after 2nd (I can't find the post). After 2nd it was really weird (some kind of powers).

After 1st
"Didn't sleep all night long. In the morning I slept two hours (very, very deep rest) and I woke with a kind of hangover. Like drained but not rested. I still have this headache.
Now concentration is building again (and now I'm not so sure thats a good thing). I can feel the stillness, "moving"."

After 2nd
"Day 7 to 10. Spent the rest of the retreat focusing on concentration. Had some really strong kundalini experiences, and I think at the end I learned how to move energies with ease."

So, after each path I had come kind of concentration based, point in the middle of the head, hangover-energy thing.

I've considered the possibility of this shift being AP or 2nd. In this change in perspective, things happen move too fast, a little out of control, in a way that doesn't feel too good. But they are also shinier and more clear. So maybe it's the dark night, but it's too emcompassing to be DN.

It doesn't matter. It's done and the shift holds and is deepening (that's all I care about emoticon).

Anyway, I'll stop making theories about what it was and rambling, and keep investigating phenomena.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/12/18 8:30 AM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Making theories is totally fine... it just takes a while to know if they are on track or not. Things much more sense after time and looking backwards...

Anyway, this is my kinda-funny, kinda-true diagnosis technique: if people say they're done, it's third. If someone says it's third it can be anywhere! emoticon The 1, 2, 3, 4, access to jhana normally comes after SE. Certainly post SE there is the "I just sit down and I'm already at A&P" for a while. Of course this varies... The road to third tends to have A LOT of realizations about emptiness --- really deeply seeing "form is emptiness" --- the formless jhanas come on strong if they haven't already, and usually has multiple apparent insight cycles, even fractal-ish insight cycles... 

Anyway, my hunch is possibly/likely post 2nd, but almost definitely pre-3rd. That's my wild guess. 

By the way, it's totally normal to question paths numbers, paths vs. AP, etc. If you aren't confused and in doubt, then you are probably not paying close enough attention. These maps are human created and experience itself does not come with labels. We do the best we can to understand but our practice and other's descriptions, but there is a lot of uncertainty. (Which is a good lesson in itself!)

Again, sounds like good practice! Thanks for reporting your data!!

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/12/18 1:10 PM as a reply to shargrol.
Well, I had a lot of realizations in my last home retreat with emptiness and my body (that seemed strange). Also for a time I also was able to get to the formless realms.

I posted about these things being 2.5 path in DreamWalker's line.

Experiences

Anyway, this change of perspective has nothing to do with emptiness or not self.
It's more a no fog, no veil, phenomena moving faster and brighter (and a little scarier out of control), and awareness of the field being extremely stable (meaning things are better "located").

I said thing look grainier, not that I check again, they don't, they look sharp, a lot sharper and "real" than before. When I focus wide or stare, the whole field looks grainier.
Maybe I'm having eyesight problems emoticon.

I really don't know if there are noticeable, permanent, all encompassing changes in perspective that aren't paths.

Another thing, maybe it's the "done" thing, but it seems that from now I'm going back (or maybe I was already going back) to where I was before stream entry. I can feel the "spiritual searcher" beginning to fade. It's seen as another of the selfs that arise and pass away.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/12/18 6:32 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Okay, I can see why you think 3rd, no worries.

This things are hard to diagnose -- it takes so much history and talking to really nail it down, so I really do mean that I'm not sure! emoticon

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/15/18 9:17 AM as a reply to shargrol.
Well, first of all thanks for your interest in my progress.

About the shift, I really don't know if it's 3rd (maybe it's 2.5 or even 2nd). Maybe I'm it's the second AP after 1st (meaning I'm only stream entry).

I've dismissed a lot of interesting things as AP (I'm used to it).

About the change in perspective, I'm used to it changing because of other reasons (not meditation related). I know the difference. I don't need more time than a week to know if it still there.

For example, when I sense my breathing, it's different than before. There's no cloud, nothing moving. It's been the other way (with the cloud or something moving) for all my life except the last week after the shift. So it's easy to spot the difference. The change is still there, the same that before (not an ounce weaker).

So far, I've had 3 changes in perspective so far (noticeable that impact all things) that do not go back.

In any case, it's really simple, it's not 4th. There's still agency, and some kind of an observer (it seems to be slowly dissolving as time passes, but still there).

So, it doesn't matter if it's 3rd or not, I still have to keep practicing, noticing, doing retreats, etc.

One more thing to report. Up to yesterday or before yesterday, I didn't have a "unified" self. But yesterday something took the grip and solidified, like "owning" the shift or change in perspective. It is a step back, but I'm not sure it could be avoided.

Again thanks for your interest in my posts. Sorry for rambling too much.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/19/18 11:11 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
I like your mapping for yourself. Its right on as far as your experience with a nice clarity for your path. I never claim to know shit, but just put out my best stuff based on my own experiences and the multitudes of others; thru my lense.
I thought I got 3rd years ago, I've since gotten very, very strick as to the perceptual shifts that entails the whole package of 3rd. I've mapped out about a dozen minor shifts within the the various sense doors. I'd say by my strick definitions now, I'm NOT 3rd path and never was.
I'm working on the territory, as best as I can. I have had previews of 3rd and 4th, but thats retreat for ya, what is possible.
Good luck,
~D

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/20/18 9:21 AM as a reply to Dream Walker.
I really like your Framework, and maybe I'm 2.5.
After 1st mapping becomes more complicated.

In any case, this is the first shift where I'm not so sure I like the result emoticon.
Everything seems more "chaotic" and some parts of agency seem broken.
Things look brigther but they also look less solid, less separated from other things.

I'm curious about your "strick definitions of 3rd".
I haven't seen many definitions of 3rd (and I'm not very convinced about the ones I've seen emoticon).

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/23/18 5:39 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
It is great that you can access jhanas and that you are practicing meditation and going on retreats. It's also really good that you feel compassion. Cultivating bodhicitta, dedicating merits and so on is extremely helpful, in my experience and as is taught in Mahayana. I highly recommend this if you feel compassion. You can increasingly live and perform every action with the single intention to attain the highest awakening for the welfare of all beings. An intention sustained as strongly as this will reemerge quickly in the next lifetime, thus enabling you to continue on the "path" more easily. Also in the near-term, it will sustain you in hard times, knowing that your motivation is fundamentally pure. There are many other benefits.

If the desire to attain paths is motivating you, then it's better than nothing. Just make sure to aim for the highest possible awakening. Don't fall into the trap of convincing yourself you are enlightened when you are actually someone whose perception is still fragmented, still swept along by concepts, still governed by hope and fear. Buddhas are astonishing and magical and beggar belief, but actually so are we. Some lack the capacity to ever seriously consider this as a possibility. Reality is only limited by the concepts placed on it.

Also, don't take the "path" concept too seriously. It's very confusing and paradoxical. I understand (perhaps especially as a young man) there is a strong drive to get somewhere, make things happen, attain things, do things, prove yourself. But with meditation one must arrive more and more fully in the present moment, perceiving with fewer and fewer preconceptions. The only path you can take is one that circles around on itself. In other words it's the wheel of samsara. That's not to say there is nothing to be gained from spinning rapidly on the wheel over and over and over until you exhaust yourself--you will gain despair! But ultimately it's all right here, right now.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
11/26/18 8:28 AM as a reply to B B.
The more I meditate, the more I realize that suffering and compassion are the forces that drive actions in every person.

It's important to realize that compassion is not only for others, but to ourselves too.
Even more, inside everyone there are "mental worlds". In some there is suffering and in others there is compassion. Compassion because of suffering makes us do things (good and bad).

I don't know if it is an attainment that you can feel the qualities of suffering and compassion in every mental world that arises. I definitely couldn't do it before.
Of course, I'll dig into this "suffering-compassion" structure noting their qualities (the 3 Cs).

About the path number and the desire for awakening, I can clearly feel the desire.

Some parts of me that have doubts, some want to get things, some want to explore, some want to detach of reality.
I can't deny the desire or what I think about the "attainment".

I write here my experiences mostly to remember how I felt and thought about things at this exact moment. As time passes, the mind remembers things very differently.

It's not that I'm against doing things or moving towards actions that benefit all people.
Some part of me just doesn't want that doing those things is another consolidation of a self that wants to detach of suffering.
You do need deep understanding of what is going on, even with the most pure of intentions.

Thanks for your ideas.
I'll try to not get attached to paths (or at least I'll note when that happens). I'll also look into some Mahayana teachings.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
1/11/19 8:40 AM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Well, some time has passed. The shift remains and a new path has been started (not sure if after 2nd or after 3rd). My guess is that I'm in "Cause and effect" or "Mind and Body".

Some considerations about the three moments I did consider path:

- The 1st was completely "out of the blue". For 2nd I was aware of something happening before the blip. And 3rd there was a part of me knowing what I was doing or what was happening.
Maybe this has something to do with first being attained at home and the others at retreat.

- Concentration after path was extremely high, but decreasing for each path (impossible to manage in first, somewhat manageable in 2nd and completely manageable after 3rd).

- The 3 of them had a huge change of perspective, not related to what was happening before. This change of perspective did not have a wow factor, but as it applied to everything all the time, was more impressive that any other experience (for example, a lot of experiences that I had in my home retreat where I didn't get a path and had a lot of AP experiences).

Now, some rambling:

These days I was doing concentration practices mixed with insight. It struck me how easy I could access the low Jhanas and I began investigating attention, grasping, focusing, relaxing, etc.

I moved from 1st to 4th, changing the focus from breath to pleasureable sensations, to visualizations. In the background, there was some constant, subtle effort in continuity.

It began to happen that I could dissect how, after a sensation happened, a visualization ocurred. That visualization was a kind of "interpratation" of the sensation. When I looked closer, I realized that concepts were made of lot of visualizations from memory.
It struck me as weird how I could't make a concept that didn't have visualizations (most of the time parts of many visualizacions)

In my case, there was a pleasurable flow from front of the head to the back. I had visualizations of water running, of "yellow energies" flowing, of two compartments separated by a pipe and the pipe widening, of parts of my head vibrating or tingling (incomplete visualizations of my head and moving things).

My take on all this:

- There is a sensation. The sensation is impossible to interpret to the mind without reference.

- The mind searches in memory for "references of the sensation". It gets some and then "loops" looking for references of the references. And then "references of references of references". All this "references" are from memory and as such, have and "observer".
My guess is that most memories are visual, and have space distorted to provide stability for storage. Also, a memory usually compresses multiple sensations and asociations in one thing (some sort of zipping emoticon).

- This would explain the observer and fractals (the loop generates a fractal or a tree). In order to "learn" the new sensation, a context is needed from memory.

Also, these days I find "suffering and compassion" demolishing "desire and aversion". I began having changes in desire and aversion after what I considered 2nd but now it's a lot more pronunciated. This aligns with 2nd and 3rd path (lower fetters). So, I'm really confident I'm at least 2nd.

My view right now is that all that happens, everything all people do is based on compassion.
You have to account that compassion happens in each person "mental worlds". Also for a lot of different kinds of suffering. I do understand karma a lot, a lot better than before.

A pain is felt in the body, then compassion sets in and a pain is felt in the mind as "not knowing how to solve the pain in the body" (but a relief from the original pain in the body) and then out of compassion some measure is taken to resolve both pains.

Our body, our thoughts, our reality are always twisting and moving to put and end to different kinds of suffering.

My guess is that somehow, I'll continue making progress in the path.
There is some part of me that really doesn't like unnecessary suffering emoticon.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
1/11/19 9:04 AM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
Some corrections:

- I was in "Cause and effect" or "Mind  and body" yesterday (when I was doing concentration). Today I'm in 3Cs or AP (3.4 or 4.3?)

Another thing I didn't mention: Aversion to the seeker.
I find most of the time that I do not want to meditate or some part of me that doesn't want to do anything that consolidates some sort of "seeker". This has been increasing after 1st path and it's becoming a big obstacle to doing proper meditation.
After what I consider 3rd, there are a lot of things that happen on their own and I find even more difficult to make resolutions or keep track of things.

I'll try to investigate what's going on there emoticon.

RE: 10 day Goenka retreat, 3rd path
Answer
1/21/19 1:54 PM as a reply to Ernest Michael Olmos.
The shift remains.

Nowadays I'm trying to find the 3Cs in the sense of the ownership of reality.

While reality happens on it's own (and all the senses are at the same level), there is still a sense not of control (control is fading), but of ownership.

Also, when doing concentration or inclining the mind, the sense of continuity, of picking something from the past to make something happen in the present was felt as artificial or at least, worth investigating. Concentration changed A LOT after what I consider 3rd path.

I'll stop making theories and probably stop posting to investigate things.
Also I bought MCTB 2 for the kindle and I'm reading it. Really interesting, it's a lot richer in detail than MCTB 1.