hi all

(my first post, so please bear with me or please advise how to do it properly)

The question can clearly apply to other situations as well, but for clarity let's focus on this particular instance

Is there a "defense" against Someone's ex love-partner bad wishes, i. e. or how to nullify the effect of ex-Partner's ill will agaist Someone?

If so, what are the mechanics/inner working/causality of this defense? Without hurting ex-Partner in anyway and ideally helping ex-Partner to feel wonderful and understand that no harm was intended (e.g. Someone was just really dumb in that situation)?

Let's imagine someone breaks up with a love-partner. Ex-Partner then feels hurt, deceived, you name it...the hurt was not intended by Somone but ex-Partner might feel it that way and the pain and hurt is very real for ex-Partner. Ex-Partner might even feel like the hurt was intentional by Someone. So it is very human that Partner (sub) conscieously sends out some for of "negative energy" towards Someone. 

What can be done by Someone in this Situation over distance (personal contact is not desired by ex-Partner, and might be even psychologically harmful)?

Thank you for reading and best wishes..

It might be helpful to question your concept of "negative energy." There is no doubt that the phenomenon of "ill-will" exists, but what power does it have to cause you harm? It certainly has such power if the subject ex-partner has the physical means to do you harm, and that can include more subtle means such as bad-mouthing to your friends. But ill-will alone? Is it a force that enters your bodymind, like harmful microwave radiation? If you believe that, then you should have no problem erecting your own positive energy shield, as the ex-partner doesn't have the focused power (training) to generate much negative force.

But I suggest that the real harm might be your own inner reaction to the thought that someone else is hostile towards you. The negative effects are real, and the reaction is perfectly natural, as we are deeply wired as social creatures.  

Let's assume "stuff like voodoo" is real for the purpose of this question, and hence also "just ill-will" can be causal also over distance and not only through commonly known causality. 

Or am I misundarstanding how "stuff like voodoo" works?

If stuff like voodoo works in a non-local way, there is still no reason to assume it has a simple mechanism. At least part of the negative effect could be the recipient's getting spooked by the very fear of it. But even if there is an actual transfer of negative force, how focused and how strong must it be to cause noticeable harm to the recipient? Evidently, very few people are able to do much damage non-locally, else we would see much more misfortune resulting from the hate and malice throughout society.

Simplest way is to , dondate your 5 aggregates and Mind and Body to Buddha.
And then Send metta to the one who is hurt.

Lesser Banishing rituals of Pentagram and Hexagram and  the Rose Cross ritual.
Try it anyway. Best instructions on the internet are probably those of Peter Griffin, but beware, he’s a ”cult leader”.

or do the easy thing and just pray to Jesus Christ.

For you, its simply not good enough to say: "no harm was intended". You need to wake up to the fact that people throw themselves carelessly & blindly into sexual relationships where they will become attached & thus hurt in those relationships. Your ignorance does not excuse this. For you, this should be viewed as a significant learning experience; not to be repeated. 

For the other, they carelessly, blindly & deceptively entered into a relationship with you; pretending it was just a casual fling when, in reality, it really meant much more to them. They were obviously dishonest to you. 

Both of you are "sinners" or "transgressors" against to the Dharma law therefore you are both the same. Personally, I would not be concerned with the other person. They reaped what they sowed & their hurt is for them to sort out. 

As for you, if you are interested in practising Dharma, you should not be having sexual relationships with concealed booby traps & disguised land mines. Most people that have had a history of sexual relationships have deep unresolved issues and are like walking breathing time bombs ready to explode. 

The other person was hurt by their own misdeeds. There is no need for you to fall for the emotional blackmail. However, in the future, you should avoid such careless & goalless relationships. They are unrelated to Dharma and just create confusion & suffering.