It is hard to say when my actualism practice started exactly because I don't think that I understood the method initially. I may have been doing something else at first, but now the action is more confident and the results are more tangible. These days when I ask 'HAIETMOBA', waves of pleasure course through my body. This is immediate and consistent. So the real question is nowadays, "why aren't I always asking this question?" It should be gleaned that this is more a non-verbal attitude, but it is careful attention nonetheless.

Yes, I had some strong barriers in my practice. I had to discover that the old ways of doing things were most certainly selfish. The phrase 'blow to the ego' is apt here. I was a frat boy, athlete, etc. and so on with how I identified myself or allowed others to identify me. But I would pay attention to how, when someone said something about me, I would feel pumped up or pushed down. This is how, in some ways, I started dismantling the social identity. I am still working on it but I have made tremendous strides. I am no longer as vulnerable as I was before because that which was vulnerable had vanished.

I will talk more about my practice these days because I think more people can relate to it (how it is now). I have had a few great PCE's, but one memorable one sticks out. I use this seminal point in my life as a reference point, a golden clew if you will... It was so powerful that I immediately remembered it the first time I read Richard's writings on the AF site. The quality was undeniable.

I only recently found this forum, but ever since the discovery, PCE's have been much more frequent for me. This is because the process of becoming actually free is on my mind more often. It should be on my mind 24/7 until it happens. There is nothing I want more in my life. To me it is more important than having a good job, a hot wife, etc... And I think that is the way it needs to be. It needs to be a priority. Not to eliminate every other goal you have, but the priority needs to be that high. Can any actually free people weigh in this? Maybe it isn't important as I think, because I am not even an actually free person. But I am trying. These days it is very good, my experience is generally happy and harmless. Occasionally snippets come into awareness that can bring me down, but I do not allow them to endure. For me it is very simple: it is sensible to be happy and harmless, silly to be otherwise. It really doesn't matter the cause of the misery, both the cause and the effect ought not to have ground. Any feedback is welcome, any questions I will try my best to answer.

-David

Great, how did you get your first PCE? Do you have a background in meditation?

Hi Jason,

My first post-adolescent PCE was also the major one I refer to. I was out in a park, sitting on the bluffs. I was looking at the clouds. Soon I could see the clouds forming from steam in the forest in the distance. I saw their progression from baby clouds to large puffy clouds. I looked out at the distant forest again, marveling at what must live in the woods yonder. I looked out at the edge of the forest canopy, where it converged with the horizon. I saw the curvature of the earth. I think it was when I saw the curvature of the earth when it hit me. It was quite spectacular and I never saw the world in the same way again. I continued to look out at the sky, at the moon (it was mid-day).

I have since had similar experiences (PCE's). But they all have that same quality of purity. Its like "yep, this is it". Very clear, very still. And I can even remember 'coming down' from that first PCE. It was like "oh uh... falling... how can I maintain this mode of experiencing??" But there was too much ingrained patterns of suffering. Too many layers that I have since hacked through. At the time I experienced it all as a cycle, and it may be very well be operating in the same fashion right now. Although I do not know what they talk about on this forum as "cycling" and it is not my major concern.

I should add that it has not been unusual for me to have a PCE after looking out the horizon, or where the earth meets the sky. Perhaps this could be a useful trigger for others?

Thanks David, not having had a PCE yet, I will take any useful trigger I can get!
K

Yeah this has induced some PCE's for me too.. or just looking at the sky in general. Maybe relates to seeing the expansiveness of the universe.. and the fact that it is always there no matter what.

Keep it up