Huh, so much for spaciousness.

I got to thinking about my experiments with peripheral vision, and traffic noise, (see "investigating spaciousness"). It strikes me that the sense doors are called doors for a reason. I.e. that's where that action happens, nowhere else. What I mean is the only place where I have any actual interaction with my sense of sight is at the retina, for the purpose of meditation the "real" world does not exist, just sensations at the skin, ear drum ect. Then it struck me, from this perspective, sight and hearing are no different from touch, smell or taste.

This has all been said before many times, not least in Ingram’s book and I'm sure most of you are familiar with these ideas, but what I am trying to do is trace the process by which these words become real practice.

I don’t think I’ve succeeded. Never mind.

So today I made a strong resolution to note all sensations at the sense doors and nowhere else. I rose up to equanimity though “normal” noting. (I’m pretty sure its equanimity, but I still have my doubts). Hung out there for a little while, farted about with soft Jhanas for a time. I’m so crap at that stuff that I don’t know why I bother. Then I shifted to noting, just at the sense doors. I can’t explain how I did this, I really can’t, but it had an immediate effect.

I felt like I was shrinking and getting heavier, also perception of the real world became fragmentary and vague. This was because the speed, intensity and density of sensations became overwhelming. Sense data started to overlap and merge. It all became rather chaotic and intense. I tried to retreat in to Jhana (now I see the value of all that hippy stuff!) but of course I cannot because I don’t have the skills. So I just had to hang on till my alarm went off.

I am aware that my description of what happened is brief but to be honest it all came as such a shock; I’m not able to remember too much, apart from the sense of crushing heaviness, the torrential down pour of sensation.

I do have memories of similar experiences, once in bed in my teenage years and once while I was visiting Wat Pah Nanachat in Thailand. But neither were anything like as intense.

So any thoughts, comments, admonishments?

Howard

note all sensations exactly where and as they occur.



if you are doing noting practice, your role is to note/notice the three (general) characteristics of the sensations which occur, not to concern yourself with those sensations' particular characteristics (nor the stories/narratives/fabrications which are likely to result from or become amplified by such concern). is perception fragmentary? note the momentary quality of impermanence. is the overlapping and merging of sense data happening on its own? note the already-happening nature of no-self. is it rather chaotic and intense? note this visceral quality of suffering. the three characteristics are the keys you are looking for, because attending to them is what opens the three doors to cessation. there is no magic place you must get to before you can come to these doors; you find those doors by investigating their keys and this you can only do right now. therefore, keep your focus on perceiving (any of) the three characteristics here and now. only this moment is ripe with the potential for awakening. it is closer than you can possibly think.

tarin

Wow! Tarin, thank you very much. Looks like I'm going to be practicing again today. Maybe now actually.

I feel like I ought to ask questions, but your direction is clear and I fully understand what I have to do.

Thanks again

Howard