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Weirdest experience in meditation

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Weirdest experience in meditation
Answer
7/7/19 8:23 AM
Hello there!

Years ago after a few months of starting my adventure in meditation I had this wierd experience...

I was usually doing 20 minutes meditation on the morning and 20 minuts on afternoon. At that time I didn't know about buddishm and vipassana. I was just doing a mantra meditation, a friend of mine give me a mantra and told me to focus on the 6 chakra. The practice was focusing on that point and repeating the mantra again and again. My practice was kind of floppy, my concentration was no that good and I was like the sandwich guy that Daniel points on his book emoticon.

Also, I waas practicing..or exploring...how to say..sexual energy practice? I was trying to have orgasm without ejaculation. I usually did this every morning before meditation emoticon haha. That's weird to explain but well, the thing is one day I had a really strong orgasm, followed by...like little explosions where the chakras are supposed to be. Starting for the root and ascending to the top and I felt knock out and also feeling really strong pleasant sensations around all the body that take some time to vanish, never felt something like that before. I was not planning to get taht experience, just happened. And never happened again emoticon /sad.


After that I did my meditation as usual. I start my meditation and progressively I got more and more concentated without effort. At some point I can feel inner space, like the darkness was absorbing me, like if I was going deep on the ocean and I was going deep and deep into the blackness. I can hear the mantra on the top repeating itself, and also hear my narrative (thoughts) doing their own stuff, it feels wierd and wtf, didnt know about no-self aspect at that moment!

It feels this was happening on the top. I saw these like waves and every moment that past feels more and more distant like and echo that slowly starts to fade and I was going deeper (down) on that darkness. And then silence, feels like I was moving/traveling in my inner space.

At some point I saw at distance like a little drop/tear of water was emerging from nowhere and i was going directly to that tear. Then things speed up and I feel/see that this drop was made of emotions, images, sensations, memories and I was getting closer and closer going more fast every second. I was start to feeling an uncontrollable fear and I was trying with all my will to quit te experience and finally I could before merging with the drop of water. I had the impresion that 1 hour had passed but only passed 20 minutes.

I was like: what the fuck happened. In a few hours I start feeling deep pain on my stomach, in 24h I was on emergency getting operated on appendicitis.

What the hell happened in that medition? This was long ago and I always wandered...what was that? This was like 4 years ago.

After that in the next years I went on 3 goenka retreats, 1 month in a thai monaestery, 1 month in Bruma, panditarama center and also a frew weeks on retreat in UK. Also I did a solid daily practice to 1-3h every day. In all these years of practice I had some awkward experiences and strong A&P events etc. usually on retreat after building concentration for a few days, but that was quite different also for the appendicitis thing and the chakra explosions.

So, what do you think? Are these events; the wierd meditation, the chakra explosions, and then the appendicitis can be related in some way? or is just a coincidence? Did you had some similar expierience or know of someone that happen something like this?

RE: Weirdest experience in meditation
Answer
7/7/19 9:08 AM as a reply to Jordi.
Orgasm thing, chakras, energy, etc. A&P every single time.

No idea how appendicitis fits into, likely unrelated, but you never know.

RE: Weirdest experience in meditation
Answer
7/8/19 7:14 AM as a reply to Daniel M. Ingram.
Yes, A&P!

But for me A&P some times can very ambiguous and is a bag that can be filled with a lot of experiences and states. Are Jhanic states also A&P? or are other type of phenomena?

I think we say Jhana instead of A&P becouse we have a lot of knowledge of that particular mind state and had been proven again and again and we know how to acess them at will. But somone who never heard about Jhanas but heard about A&P if he enters in a Jhanic state probably will say that he had an A&P event.

So, my point is we usually say A&P to describe an experience or state of mind that we can't underestand or explain how we got there.

For exemple, during my practice doing vipassana I found a pattern on my A&P events. Usually are the same. Involves some kind of resistance and physical sensation that is hard to deal but when I realized that and I put my will to sincerely surrender and accepting that sensation without rejecting it and something happen. The "bad sensation" dissolves followed for a "wow" moment. Also can involve release of energy in all the body, sometimes some degree of insight or even some phycological realitzation.

This is an A&P event? I think so. But I can also label some specific word for it. This pattern happened again and again on my meditations and not only with physical sensation also with difficult emotions on meditation and daily life. If im able to truly accept and embrace what I feeling right now its generates some kind of beatiful transmutation or integration.

So instead of saying A&P event I can say I had an integration event. We can say that integration event is on the domain of A&P. But if we look on the process of insight A&P usually has to be followed by a Dark Night and a lot of different sate of mind and expirences I had in my life that we can say its an A&P event didn't followed by a Dark Night.

Sometimes I feel people use Dark Night term very lightly. For exemple when they have some bad feelings o bad sensations on ther meditation or feels depressed on their daily life etc. For what I experienced myself I don't see that way. Mabye I'm mistaken, but Dark Night for me involves very nasty sensations and feelings. Hard emotions arise and is quite disturbing state that involves a lot of shit and its quite difficult to have some prespective when you are "in". You only can do your best and travel that state with patience and kindness.

What I want to say is usually we use the term A&P for what we can't classify.

For exemple, the experience that I exposed. Imagine I take the commitment to mastery sexual energy practices and I can have strong orgasms without ejaculation and I'm able to get this chakra explosions at will and not only that I can also teach people how to do it and they get the same results. And after that if they meditate they get and important boost on concentration an can easily enter in trance or paranormal mind states.

Then all of this will continue to be A&P events or we can label specific word for it? Like we say "Jhanas"?

RE: Weirdest experience in meditation
Answer
7/8/19 1:50 PM as a reply to Jordi.
Jordi,

I highly recommend an excellent book on the topic of your question: "Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: Revised and Expanded Edition" by Daniel Ingram. It answers your question very thoroughly.

I really like your term "integration event." I'm going to steal it. emoticon

My practice now consists mostly of doing those integration events. They can happen at any stage of the progress of insight - the term for stages, "nanas," literally means insight. So that's not necessarily an A&P event.

The A&P corresponds to the second jhana - they're the same territory from different perspectives. The other jhanas are not A&P events though they can contain rapture, bliss, joy...

You may be right that people overdiagnose A&P for any interesting event.