Figuring out past retreat experiences - release in the heart/belly region.

Bernardo Vasconcelos, modified 10 Years ago.

Figuring out past retreat experiences - release in the heart/belly region.

Posts: 40 Join Date: 11/19/09 Recent Posts
I'd like to ask about two events I experienced around June last year on a insight meditation retreat. At the time, I was, to my best knowledge, at least, a sakadagami.

The whole retreat was, I think, about seeing the selflessness and emptiness of all phenomena. During it I also saw many parts of my body, and sensations turn into light/luminosity, if this makes any sense. The first days I was in review, and when a new cycle started, the A&P never really happened. I saw it simply as something that my mind was doing, and it seemed to me that perception was a trick, an illusion. In the last days there was a 48h strong determination exercise (i.e. practising non-stop without sleep) where I cycle through the dukkha-nanas. After that, things went really deep and formless; and I begun to experience huge waves of paranoia and terror. If I heard water flowing near me I would feel it inside my body. At a certain point, everything was turning into bubbles, and while it seemed exciting at first, it pretty soon begun to make me sick. I was not riding it out, it was riding me! Emptiness was showing it's dark aspect, I guess.

Now the event (i) that I'm curious about, happened in a sit where I went into state very hard to describe. The external world felt like a distant memory, and verbal formations in the head were loud and were soon dropped. I sank into my body until I was 'floating' just above the heart region. Nothing else existed at the moment, so I paid attention to it. I saw many patterns - physical sensations accompanied by verbal formations - arising from the area. They were saying stuff like 'you're just trying to get enlightened', 'it won't work', 'you don't know what to do', etc. They arouse very fast and a insight into the 3 characteristics happened. Then something clicked, better, something released right in the middle of the heart region. It felt like my most ancient and deep fear. What followed was a unite/oness experience where I was this sphere that is located in the center of the body, one with everything. After that there was a warmth in this region for a month. I still got it while in what I think it was the Pure Land Jhanas, but I'm not sure about it anymore, being a long time since I don't access this states.

In the next day the event (ii), a mind-blowing insight, happened, and it felt like a punch in my brain coming from below. I understood that the mind believes in a illusory continuity, and that happens because each new moment arises from the conditions of the previous moment. After that, I went into a most curious state where everything seemed amazing, yet, ordinary. The paranoia was gone, along with the cycles altogether. That tricked me into thinking I was enlightened. Now I suspect it was a PCE.

I'm curious if anyone had similar experiences.

EDIT:
P.s.: Upon reflecting on the subject later, and accessing the state where I can feel the warmth, be it PL Jhana or not, I came to realize that the exact location of it is actually in the center of the body, right in the middle of the torso. Below the chest, and above the navel. I guess that would be the solar plexus.



Bernardo
Bernardo Vasconcelos, modified 10 Years ago.

RE: Figuring out past retreat experiences - release in the heart/belly

Posts: 40 Join Date: 11/19/09 Recent Posts
It's been a while, but this particular event still makes me curious. Looking back, it was when things changed big time. Does this resemble anyone elses experience of 4th path?

I have the impression that after that, everthing was pretty much integration. And after 8 mounths or so practiced started to seem unnecessary.

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