Message Boards Message Boards

Dharma Diagnostic Clinic, aka "What was that?"

Diagnosis after past life experience

Toggle
Diagnosis after past life experience
Answer
7/28/19 6:18 AM
Hello. First post here. Glad to see a community so pratice oriented.

I have So been meditating for 3 years and did 3 goenka retreats. The last one, in which the following events happenend, was really profound.

Several days in the retreat I observed that most body was energy and there was no solidity except in very specific places (chest mostly).
When i went to sleep on the 8th day, I had a "dream" that was so vivid it was a literal as "real" life.
 While labes don't aways help, for explanation reasons i'm gonna name it past life because of the deep ressonance it made.
So basically it's me arriving home, which i fled, after a long time away, and greeting my mother (different from my "real" mother),
and she's really emotional for seeing me. It happens that for some reason - a traumatic event (which is probably extremly obvious)
 I supressed all my memories as way to deal with the pain, which turned me into someone with something closed to dementia. It happens that when i got back home with my family i made a resolution to deal with trauma altough i was
very handicaped at the time (couldn't find the places around the house, was very confused etc). I had a brother my age who was very happy to see me and helped and supported me alongside my mother.

Long story short i start to lose courage again, and start to lose memories and functionality. At some point i forgot my brother's name which is one of the saddest moments i remember.
Everything looks foggy and confusing then.
I'm almost going hopeless but then for an instance i remember everything, even the trauma that is haunting me but this thought occurs - "While i fled from home my mother gave up up on me. And then this the moment of realization: It looks like this live im going through is a reflex of the flow of that life, that all that im going through is a paralel mirror.
That by changing the course of action (e.g dealing with the trauma) in that life "I" will cease to exist.
And it's really sad.

It's just like that movie "The Fountain", it looks like the actions carried pull you trough the time dimension and everything keeps happening in loop untill you realize truth.

I need to see truth, what diagnosis do you make based on these events and what advice do you give to go trough these episodes?

The body sensations experienced alongside these occurences were like it was "ready" to happen something like a kunndalini awakening, but because there was a lack of courage to look to the cause of suffering it is as it's not happening.

Further information:
I have reached 2nd jana some time ago, but recently more its been a challenge to build concentration because there is a lot of resltessness in the meditation. Overall in the last year i'm feeling a lack of energy and "purpose", more withdrawn socially, there is a bigger need to rest..
If you need further clarifications feel free to ask.

Thank you.

RE: Diagnosis after past life experience
Answer
7/28/19 1:21 PM as a reply to Tigwar.
Interesting. Not what you asked for, but I'm curious: did you recall any names or other identifiers during that experience? Any language or visuals you could tag to a specific time/place?

RE: Diagnosis after past life experience
Answer
7/29/19 6:21 AM as a reply to Milo.
Milo:
Interesting. Not what you asked for, but I'm curious: did you recall any names or other identifiers during that experience? Any language or visuals you could tag to a specific time/place?


It looked like the events were relalatively recent, 80's/early 90's probably. It was interesting that i perceived myself as brunette although i'm blonde in "this life". I don't recall the names now.

I'm mosty interested, basely on the info, if what i'm experiencing is dark night sympthoms. I've been trying to shape my outer life the best i can in order to experience well being, but as hard as i try it's like there is always a "background dissatisfaction", like there is something "at the core" missing. I'm considering dedicating my personal life to meditation in order to see the "other end".

RE: Diagnosis after past life experience
Answer
7/29/19 1:17 PM as a reply to Tigwar.
Since no one else is jumping in... Take this with some skepticism as I'm not as talented with insight mapping as some others on the site, but that sounds pretty consistent with an A&P experience followed by dark night. The blurry center of focus is a pretty typical descriptor for DN as a whole, as is the dissatisfaction. I can't speculate which particular DN stage you might be in based on the information here but it generally depends on which shade of dissatisfaction is prevalent and the related insights that are most available to you as a result.

Please read:
https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/

RE: Diagnosis after past life experience
Answer
7/30/19 6:16 AM as a reply to Milo.
Milo:
Since no one else is jumping in... Take this with some skepticism as I'm not as talented with insight mapping as some others on the site, but that sounds pretty consistent with an A&P experience followed by dark night. The blurry center of focus is a pretty typical descriptor for DN as a whole, as is the dissatisfaction. I can't speculate which particular DN stage you might be in based on the information here but it generally depends on which shade of dissatisfaction is prevalent and the related insights that are most available to you as a result.



Isn't being able to go for 3rd jhana something that must acompany dark night nanas? As far as i'm aware I could only pratice 2nd jhana. In fact in the last months, it's been so challenging to keep concentration steady that I rarely reach one-pointedness focus.
Thanks again.

RE: Diagnosis after past life experience
Answer
7/30/19 3:48 PM as a reply to Tigwar.
When I first started practicing jhana it was very difficult to tell 2nd and 3rd jhana apart. It could be you have already reached it but haven't stabilized reliable access to it yet. Putting that aside though, I think you'll find that the general consensus here is that once you pass the A&P you are along for the ride, like it or not.