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Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.

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I've made pretty good progress reducing my attachments to all things including life itself. I am ok with dying whenever the time comes. The problem is when I get anxious I start to think "why not just die and escape these problems" with this low level of attachment it feels like theres nothing to stay for. I am not depressed, I was depressed for a very long period of time so I know what that's like. I do enjoy life I love being in nature, feeling the sun on my skin, enjoying food, enjoying women, and enjoying everything this world has to offer, but I'm not attached to any of that stuff so it doesnt feel like there is anything keeping me here. I feel like this is maybe a result of me misinterpreting something. Please help.

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/8/19 1:04 PM as a reply to Anthony.
Please, see a good psychiatrist. Seriously.

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/8/19 4:03 PM as a reply to Anthony.
There's a big difference between 'I'm not afraid of death' and the mindset of 'why not die to escape my problems?'

The risk of starting down this path is that you start to chip away at attachment to eternalism and the mind swings instead to clinging to the polar opposite - the idea of an eternal nothing, or nihilism. You're less used to dealing with this mirror image of eternalism since you've instinctively avoided it before, but if you think about it, nothingness is also a form, an idea, an idealized projection of an unchangeing state in the cave of the mind. If nothingness is a phenomenon that means it's subject to eventual change. And when has clinging to any phenomenon worked out?

That is somewhat of a leap, but I would also say, consider compassion. You are in a position, at this moment, to decrease suffering and increase understanding for others. Your actions toward clinging to nothingness would likely have entirely negative consequences for others if you acted on them.

Finally, remember that this path treats the disease, but often at the cost of temporarily increasing the symptoms. If the symptoms are overwhelming, you may need to decrease or set aside practice for some time, and/or seek help treating the symptoms as Chris suggested. There is no shame in that.

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/8/19 4:26 PM as a reply to Anthony.
I have found there are phases of meditation where it can feel as if you are 'dying' or 'about to die' and the world feels very much like that (or like dying would not be a big deal), sort of a perversion of equanimity. 

I would second the advice to see a psychiatrist. 

Meditatively I think this is a confusion of the difference between a big death (body, everything) and little death of duality, dualistic ego, and cessation.

I agree with the idea that nihilism is another form of eternalism and another illusion of attachment to 'permanence' (in this case of absence).

In the lecture where Shinzen Young talks about 'love itself' he describes the repeated destruction and creation of the self (and universe, by implication or at least metaphor) that he was taught in Zen Buddhism. I suggest that you either fill your time with positive activities, feelings, and senses to bring enthusiasm back to life, or that you recognize that this is actually an interesting form of corruption of detachment and it is incomplete.

(who is the "you" who is "not being kept here"? as Simone Weil says once the mud that is "you" between God and the universe is obliterated, all is clear, light, enlightened activity, inherently luminous, etc).

In the spirit of Ajahn Chah, maybe 'one more thing to let go.'

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/8/19 5:11 PM as a reply to Anthony.
Anthony:
I've made pretty good progress reducing my attachments to all things including life itself. I am ok with dying whenever the time comes. The problem is when I get anxious I start to think "why not just die and escape these problems" with this low level of attachment it feels like theres nothing to stay for. I am not depressed, I was depressed for a very long period of time so I know what that's like. I do enjoy life I love being in nature, feeling the sun on my skin, enjoying food, enjoying women, and enjoying everything this world has to offer, but I'm not attached to any of that stuff so it doesnt feel like there is anything keeping me here. I feel like this is maybe a result of me misinterpreting something. Please help.
You are not depressed, but you also say you get anxious - so could it still be something to do with brain chemistry relating to anxiety?

When a thought pattern is only associated with an emotional state I tend to credit the brain chemistry of the emotion as the cause of the thought pattern. What is "true" or "logical" seems to change with emotional state. When someone is in love or angry they might do or say things they would not otherwise do or say.

But there is a well recognized phenomena that can help with something like this but not every one can benefit from it. If you are a materialist it probably won't help and I hope you will not be offended by my reply. But belief in the afterlife can help in cases like this. If you believe there is a purpose to life and that leaving before your time will mean you didn't fulfill your purpose and you might have to come back and try again that can help in situations like yours.

From Lessons from the Light by Kenneth Ring and Evelyn Elsaesser:
https://books.google.com/books?id=WsEcwJGaB7cC&pg=PA258&lpg=PA258&dq=knowledge+of++nde+deters+suicide&source=bl&ots=3PgVvv2Mb6&sig=YwYbVOh4qHdVYrPSoBpph6nRhKk&hl=en#v=onepage&q=knowledge%20of%20%20nde%20deters%20suicide&f=false
As far as I know, the first clinician to make use of NDE material in this context was a New York psychologist named John McDonagh. In 1979, he presented a paper at a psychological convention that described his success with several suicidal patients using a device he called "NDE bibliotherapy." His "technique" was actually little more than having his patients read some relevant passages from Raymond Moody's book, Reflections on Life after Life, after which the therapist and his patient would discuss its implicatins for the latter's own situation. McDonagh reports that such an approach was generally quite successful not only in reducing suicidal thoughts but also in preventing the deed altogether.

...

Since McDonagh's pioneering efforts, other clinicians knowledgeable about the NDE who have had the opportunity to counsel suicidal patients have also reported similar success. Perhaps the most notable of these therapists is Bruce Greyson, a psychiatrist now at the University of Virginia, whose specialty as a clinician has been suicidology. He is also the author of a classic paper on NDEs and suicide which the specialist may wish to consult for tis therapeutic implications. (14)

Quite apart form the clinicians who have developed this form of what we migh call "NDE-assisted therapy," I can draw upon my own personal experience here to provide additional evidence of how the NDE has helped to deter suicide. The following case ...


Some people have no interest in the evidence of the afterlife, others are open to examining it.

For those who are interested:

Nobel Prize winning and other great scientists who believed consciousness is not produced by the brain, that the  universe was designed, or in some paranormal phenomena because of the evidence:
https://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/eminent_researchers


Evidence for the Afterlife:
https://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/summary_of_evidence

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/8/19 7:52 PM as a reply to Anthony.
You're probably not as fearless of death as you think. You don't fear death when you think about it in the abstract, but if you were actually in a life or death situation that would probably change. The reason why you feel comfortable thinking "why don't I just die and escape this" is the base survival parts of your brain know you wont actually do it. If you were to point a gun to your head or stand a the edge of a bridge, I guarrantee you would feel fear.

Now that's not to necessarily say you shouldn't seek help. Just because you're not suicidal, doesn't mean you couldn't be doing better. I'll have to leave it to you as to whether you need to see a therapist because you've sent some mixed messages about how your mental health is. But I honestly think this has more to do with your anxiety and not wanting to feel the way you do than it does with attachments or your level of realization.

Source: I've basically been through everything you're talking about.

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/9/19 9:32 AM as a reply to Jim Smith.
Thanks for mentioning the afterlife possibility. It seems to be an unpopular view here.

If one is open to the possibility of continued existence after death, and/or existence before birth, then an important question will eventually need to be addressed: Why do we incarnate in the physical realm in the first place? It is arguably a hellish realm when viewed objectively. Until and unless one is satisfied that there is no good reason to be here, it is wise not to exit early

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/9/19 9:36 AM as a reply to Katz Videos.
You're probably not as fearless of death as you think. You don't fear death when you think about it in the abstract, but if you were actually in a life or death situation that would probably change. The reason why you feel comfortable thinking "why don't I just die and escape this" is the base survival parts of your brain know you wont actually do it. If you were to point a gun to your head or stand a the edge of a bridge, I guarrantee you would feel fear.

Thank you for mentioning this; it is rarely mentioned in discussions of suicide and fear of death. I would even go so far as to say that holding a gun to your own head might not produce fear, as your subminds know you won't really pull the trigger.

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/9/19 1:03 PM as a reply to Ward Law.
Ward Law:
Thanks for mentioning the afterlife possibility. It seems to be an unpopular view here.

If one is open to the possibility of continued existence after death, and/or existence before birth, then an important question will eventually need to be addressed: Why do we incarnate in the physical realm in the first place? It is arguably a hellish realm when viewed objectively. Until and unless one is satisfied that there is no good reason to be here, it is wise not to exit early
I get my views about the afterlife from reports by near-death experiencers and from evidential mediums (I have some experience at that myself). As I understand it, the physical world was created to provide experiences that cannot be had in the spiritual realms.  That we are here to learn from the consequences of our choices and actions (karma is our teacher). People learn best by solving problems and having experiences. That is what life gives us. From suffering we learn to be more compassionate - suffering allows us to better understand the suffering of others. From our mistakes we learn forgiveness. When someone harms us we can better understand why they might do that if we have been in a situation where we harmed someone else. Some of this learning occurs while we are alive and some after death when we reflect back on our life. Other individuals can also learn from our experiences.

Having a dedicated realm, the physical realm for this activity also provides a kind of firewall to protect the spiritual realms from the crazyness that goes on here. It seems like the amount of suffering that goes on here is too great, but I think we need to understand how the spirit sees it before they incarnate, their perspective might be different from the one we have - they know better the benefits that come from a physical life - we don't really understand that very well.

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/9/19 3:04 PM as a reply to Jim Smith.
We could have a long discussion about the continuation of conscious existence beyond physical life, but this probably isn't the right forum for that. I do think there is a pragmatic side to this question, in that one of my goals for meditation practice is to prepare for what might arise after death. This a reasonable objective for an old person, such as I, who may or may not awaken in this life. 

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/9/19 5:49 PM as a reply to Ward Law.
Ward Law:
We could have a long discussion about the continuation of conscious existence beyond physical life, but this probably isn't the right forum for that. I do think there is a pragmatic side to this question, in that one of my goals for meditation practice is to prepare for what might arise after death. This a reasonable objective for an old person, such as I, who may or may not awaken in this life. 

In my opinion the best way to prepare for death is to try to obtain the best information about the afterlife and the transition. Other than that, try to do good and avoid harm (I wrote about the golden rule above.) Think about what you would like to happen when after death you will review your life and experience how you influenced people from their perspective. Do you want to experience love, joy, gratitude, or something other, less pleasant? I try to prepare for that now.

Some people (yogis, Buddhists) believe achieving an advanced state through meditation will prevent or reduce the need for reincarnation. I don't claim to have perfect knowledge, I may be wrong, but I have not heard any evidence of that coming back from the other side. What you do in this life, doing good, helping others acting out love not selfishness, is the best way to ensure a pleasant afterlife and avoid remedial reincarnations. If meditation can make you calmer, more compassionate, less selfish it can help you live this life will - that is the purpose I see for meditation. (This is a generality, some people feel called to do a lot of meditation and make progress with that - I am not saying they are wrong - everyone is different - there are always exceptions and for good reasons)

You may find this forum interesting

http://www.skeptiko-forum.com

or this facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/evidenceforafterlife/

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/10/19 3:12 AM as a reply to Jim Smith.
Jim Smith:

I get my views about the afterlife from reports by near-death experiencers


I get my views about fucking from reports by heavy petters.

RE: Too at peace with my own mortality. Help.
Answer
8/10/19 8:49 AM as a reply to neko.
neko:
Jim Smith:

I get my views about the afterlife from reports by near-death experiencers


I get my views about fucking from reports by heavy petters.
I get my views about rewiring my own brain while it's running from internet randos I'll never meet emoticon