can you feel your body tense slightly upon hearing the emphasised sound (just as it would upon hearing any loud or pronounced sound) resonate through it? try not anticipating any sounds or bodily responses and see what happens.

do you mean while clapping to the beat? that's easy to do in the parts with only vocals, where there aren't the loud noises but the beat is still there. in that case i just kind of put the beat where it seems it should go.

well, what makes 'it seem [the beat] should go' a particular place?

hard to say. an awareness of the beat structure of the song. a sense of timing. it doesnt feel right, though. like if i were to play the drums like that my teacher would say i have no feel of the song, that it'd sound too mechanical.

RESPONDENT: Taste is for me a shifting frustration and often a weight around my neck. An example of the former is your music, which now I find I quite like. I don’t find it jarringly middle-of-the-road and appalling anymore. An example of the latter is that I regret having sent a letter to a friend where I made poor taste judgements.

RICHARD: Aesthetic appreciation, varying as it does from person-to-person, is something to be enjoyed for what it is ... and not something to be conclusively judged as either poor or impeccable (and so on).

In the years I successfully made a living as a practising artist I never took any notice of the critics’ opinions ... indeed, if I had I would never had made a living out of it as my artistic output came about despite both the institutionalised training I received during three years fulltime study at art college and the two years fulltime application of same immediately following graduation (wherein I had to teach art part-time of an evening to supplement my then-meagre income).

It was only when ‘I’ got out of the way and the painting painted itself, so to speak, or the drawing drew itself/the sculpture sculpted itself/the pottery formed itself (and so on) that craft – all the painstakingly acquired skills – became art.

I clearly remember the opening night of my first one-man exhibition (in a major city of this country I reside in): it virtually sold-out on that first night and, of course, being the star of the show ‘I’ was the recipient of the judgements of those assembled who chose to voice their opinion ... yet what they did not realise, as only ‘I’ knew how that artistic output came about, was that their opinion was of no value to ‘me’ whatsoever either one way or the other.

The opinion of another identity did not mean a thing either.

RESPONDENT: One last question: You have a background in art, hence have an appreciation for visual aesthetics ... do you draw or paint now?

RICHARD: I have not drawn or painted much since I started writing – the last time was back in 1987-88 – as of all the arts I prefer literature ... the art of letters.

Incidentally, I mainly made a living working in ceramics, in particular hand-thrown pottery, as I had five other people to support.

RESPONDENT: I am a musician, and have wondered if pursuing this path would eliminate all desire to play music.

RICHARD: Yep ... all desire vanishes without a trace.

RESPONDENT: Creativity is a complex urge, with various fundamental and conditioned characteristics.

RICHARD: Yes, about 23-25 years ago, when the ‘I’ who was made a living as an artist, ‘my’ greatest work came when ‘I’ disappeared and the painting painted itself (in what is sometimes known as an ‘aesthetic experience’) or the pottery threw itself. This is the difference between art and craft – and ‘I’ was very good as a craftsman – but craft became art only when ‘I’ was not present.

All art is initially a representation and, as such, is a reflection funnelled by the artist so that he/she can express what they are experiencing in order to see for themselves – and show to others – what is going on ‘behind the scenes’ as it were. However, when one is fully engrossed in the act of creativity – wherein the painting paints itself for example – the art-form takes on a life of its own and ceases to be a representation during the event.

It is its own actuality: one can only stand in amazement and wonder – which is not to negate the very essential patiently acquired skills and expertise – and this marvelling is what was experienced back when I was a normal person. It was this magical way of creativity that led ‘me’ into this whole investigation of life, the universe and what it is to be a human being. ‘I’ wanted to live life like these utter moments of artistic creation ... ‘I’ wanted life to live itself just like the paintings painted themselves.

And thus here I am today as this flesh and blood body only.

RESPONDENT: However, at its most elemental, if I could appreciate another’s music as one of my personal predilections, it would make sense that I could also appreciate that music I generate myself. Just as I could appreciate the mustard I prepared myself.

RICHARD: You have lost me here ... ‘personal predilections’ (individual predisposition, idiosyncratic proclivity, or inbuilt propensity, and thus tendency and/or preference) vary from person to person and not being able to fully appreciate another’s taste does not mean one cannot generate aesthetically pleasing works oneself.

Speaking personally I studied art for three years, copying various master artist’s works slavishly so as to acquire the necessary skills and expertise, and continued to practice daily thereafter for two more years (barely making a living): one fine day there was an abandonment of everything that had gone before – it was a gay abandon which came of its own accord – and unique work manifested itself for the very first time.

Ain’t life grand!

RESPONDENT: ... By the time you became actually free you had experienced numerous PCE’s, some of which had come while painting and/or listening to music. If I am not mistaken, you had even produced some of your best work when ‘you’ were absent. Why, then, would it be disconcerting, or even surprising, to find yourself experiencing on a permanent basis something which you had experienced many times before and had actively sought to make permanent?

RICHARD: First and foremost: there was absolutely no precedent – the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago did not have the millions of words now available on The Actual Freedom Trust web site to refer to – and, whilst it is true that ‘his’ best work was produced when ‘he’ was absent (and thus beauty played no part at all), when ‘he’ came out of abeyance and reviewed that art ‘he’, of course, automatically imbued it with beauty ... as did the viewers who bought ‘his’ work (reinforcement). Second, when a pure consciousness experience (PCE) occurs the contrast with what was immediately prior (everyday normality) is so startling, plus there is so much going on (the !Wow! effect), that it never struck ‘him’ afterwards, when ‘he’ came out of abeyance, that there was no beauty in actuality. Third, although a PCE is so close to what this flesh and blood body experiences 24/7 as to be virtually identical in every respect it must be borne in mind that it is a temporary experience, wherein identity is in abeyance and not extinct, and thus by being latent can cast an ever-so-slight influence upon what is being experienced ... which influence, and once again through lack of precedence, that identity all those years ago was not aware of. Last, but not least, as the main focus during ‘his’ eleven years of spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment lay in questioning love and compassion, pacifism and appeasement, timelessness, spacelessness and formlessness, immortality and ‘being’ itself, it simply never occurred to ‘him’ to question beauty ... ‘he’ (unknowingly) took the pristine purity of the actual, which beauty is but a pathetic imitation of, to be beauty itself.

RESPONDENT: Thank you for your reply. This is extremely interesting to me.

RICHARD: What I find interesting is that I made a living as a practising artist, as well as being a duly qualified art-teacher in the fine arts, for a period in my working life – which is, primarily, to be a purveyor of beauty (a beauty-pusher as it were) – yet beauty itself was never questioned ... even though more than a few enlightened/ awakened ones clearly state that it is through beauty that truth (often capitalised as ‘Truth’) is to be found.