Blaming & Afraid to recommend people to Vipassana cos of Dark Night - Discussion
Blaming & Afraid to recommend people to Vipassana cos of Dark Night
Dark Night Yogi, modified 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 5:58 AM
Created 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 5:28 AM
Blaming & Afraid to recommend people to Vipassana cos of Dark Night
Posts: 138 Join Date: 8/25/09 Recent Posts
Does anyone have this running in their heads in dark times:
"Now I have to deal with the dark night over and over again. I can't be as productive as I used to because Im never safe from a possibly catastrophic next dark night, coupled with the kundalini hangovers and burnouts"
&
"Try meditation. Highly recommended"
...but really be regretting recommending people to it because ...but i didn't tell them about the dark night...
...and feeling guilty that what if they do try it, and you lose contact with them thru-out the months, and they accidentally do get stuck there... and ...what about their family, their jobs, all the people that depend on them... & "what have I done?"
_____________________
Q1: Can Vipa meditation be recommended just casually for reasons like "i have a hard time sleeping", "im stressed", "im anxious", other hints that may trigger you to recommend meditation
Q2: Does knowledge of 'dark night' just blow up its strength and is it a molehill made into a mountain, and most often just a scapegoat? How much fuel to the fire does knowledge of it actually give, do Zen students experience it in the same strength, just not realizing it?
"Now I have to deal with the dark night over and over again. I can't be as productive as I used to because Im never safe from a possibly catastrophic next dark night, coupled with the kundalini hangovers and burnouts"
&
"Try meditation. Highly recommended"
...but really be regretting recommending people to it because ...but i didn't tell them about the dark night...
...and feeling guilty that what if they do try it, and you lose contact with them thru-out the months, and they accidentally do get stuck there... and ...what about their family, their jobs, all the people that depend on them... & "what have I done?"
_____________________
Q1: Can Vipa meditation be recommended just casually for reasons like "i have a hard time sleeping", "im stressed", "im anxious", other hints that may trigger you to recommend meditation
Q2: Does knowledge of 'dark night' just blow up its strength and is it a molehill made into a mountain, and most often just a scapegoat? How much fuel to the fire does knowledge of it actually give, do Zen students experience it in the same strength, just not realizing it?
Paul Hurley, modified 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 6:31 AM
Created 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 6:31 AM
RE: Blaming & Afraid to recommend people to Vipassana cos of Dark Night
Posts: 23 Join Date: 8/25/09 Recent Posts
Dear Mitch,
Thank you for your post. I thoroughly empathise!! There is always a moral difficulty somewhere. It's inevitable. How best to conduct myself? I try to keep things simple. When I share anything about my practice, I tell the truth. See, from what I understand about this community, this is 'hardcore,' stuff. It's not easy. The path is not easy. On a more personal level, what I would tend to be doing is 'noting' my own ambivalence. It appears to me, that you have ambivalence about your own practice. This will appear in the way you express yourself. You want it to be one way, but it's the other. You cannot disown the hard stuff. It's the truth, so at least tell it to yourself, to further your journey. I tend to focus my attention on my physical/emotional reactions to my own thoughts and to others during the day. I try to be honest. This is hard. It furthers my practice. So, with that in mind, perhaps you might like to consider working with a 'guilt' object and relax into it, an 'ambivalence' object, and relax into it, and a 'projecting' object and relax into it. It's all in your body. Work there, perhaps you might give the Dark Knight a good kick in the ass!! Hope this is helpful.
Paul.
Thank you for your post. I thoroughly empathise!! There is always a moral difficulty somewhere. It's inevitable. How best to conduct myself? I try to keep things simple. When I share anything about my practice, I tell the truth. See, from what I understand about this community, this is 'hardcore,' stuff. It's not easy. The path is not easy. On a more personal level, what I would tend to be doing is 'noting' my own ambivalence. It appears to me, that you have ambivalence about your own practice. This will appear in the way you express yourself. You want it to be one way, but it's the other. You cannot disown the hard stuff. It's the truth, so at least tell it to yourself, to further your journey. I tend to focus my attention on my physical/emotional reactions to my own thoughts and to others during the day. I try to be honest. This is hard. It furthers my practice. So, with that in mind, perhaps you might like to consider working with a 'guilt' object and relax into it, an 'ambivalence' object, and relax into it, and a 'projecting' object and relax into it. It's all in your body. Work there, perhaps you might give the Dark Knight a good kick in the ass!! Hope this is helpful.
Paul.
Dark Night Yogi, modified 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 7:11 AM
Created 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 7:11 AM
RE: Blaming & Afraid to recommend people to Vipassana cos of Dark Night
Posts: 138 Join Date: 8/25/09 Recent Posts
thanks a lot Paul!
ambivalence, projection & guilt
how much more ambivalence do teachers feel, of dharma, or people with many responsibilities. I do realize that this is something that is also a personal issue, a lack of a sense of accountability and dependability.
I do at times get bothered, in dark nights, but in the same way, it also feels good to hold ground and deal with it well.
ambivalence, projection & guilt
how much more ambivalence do teachers feel, of dharma, or people with many responsibilities. I do realize that this is something that is also a personal issue, a lack of a sense of accountability and dependability.
I do at times get bothered, in dark nights, but in the same way, it also feels good to hold ground and deal with it well.
Craig N, modified 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 3:19 PM
Created 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 3:19 PM
RE: Blaming & Afraid to recommend people to Vipassana cos of Dark Night
Posts: 134 Join Date: 8/22/09 Recent Posts
Hi Mitch
I feel that way about sharing this stuff and recommending it especially when I'm going through a tough dark night. Not usually any other times.
Craig
I feel that way about sharing this stuff and recommending it especially when I'm going through a tough dark night. Not usually any other times.
Craig
Daniel M Ingram, modified 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 5:37 PM
Created 15 Years ago at 9/21/09 5:37 PM
RE: Blaming & Afraid to recommend people to Vipassana cos of Dark Night
Posts: 3293 Join Date: 4/20/09 Recent Posts
I think that the tricks are these:
1) Full or something like full disclosure, enough so that people get a sense of what this can do both good and bad and are duly warned.
2) Good support, such that should people get into difficult territory they have friends who understand it and can help give them a heads up to what might be going on and helpful.
3) Realize that a substantial number of people who would get into meditation and actually practice and go on retreats and the like already are Dark Night meditators, having crossed the A&P sometime in their past, and that is why they are interested. The damage already having been done, might as well give them a shot at stream entry with good info.
4) Realize that arahatship really helps with this, so go for that. While not the absolutely perfect solution to the cycles, as they still occur, its perspective dramatically improves things and one's perspective and understanding of what is happening as it happens.
5) Remember to back off if the Dark Night is kicking your ass, watch funny movies, play sports, exercise, hang out with friends, be nice to your significant other, back off from practice, and the like. Sometimes this is the right thing to do.
6) Teach the maps well with all their supporting points if you are going to teach them at all.
7) Beware evangelism. Better to preach to the choir than coerce someone into this stuff only to have it screw them up, as people who are not doing this on their own internal drive and vision rarely have what it takes to get stream entry; sad but true, but plenty can cross the A&P, which, curiously enough, does not universally inspire everyone to want to become enlightened or practice through the hard stuff.
1) Full or something like full disclosure, enough so that people get a sense of what this can do both good and bad and are duly warned.
2) Good support, such that should people get into difficult territory they have friends who understand it and can help give them a heads up to what might be going on and helpful.
3) Realize that a substantial number of people who would get into meditation and actually practice and go on retreats and the like already are Dark Night meditators, having crossed the A&P sometime in their past, and that is why they are interested. The damage already having been done, might as well give them a shot at stream entry with good info.
4) Realize that arahatship really helps with this, so go for that. While not the absolutely perfect solution to the cycles, as they still occur, its perspective dramatically improves things and one's perspective and understanding of what is happening as it happens.
5) Remember to back off if the Dark Night is kicking your ass, watch funny movies, play sports, exercise, hang out with friends, be nice to your significant other, back off from practice, and the like. Sometimes this is the right thing to do.
6) Teach the maps well with all their supporting points if you are going to teach them at all.
7) Beware evangelism. Better to preach to the choir than coerce someone into this stuff only to have it screw them up, as people who are not doing this on their own internal drive and vision rarely have what it takes to get stream entry; sad but true, but plenty can cross the A&P, which, curiously enough, does not universally inspire everyone to want to become enlightened or practice through the hard stuff.