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I need some help regarding Insight
Answer
10/2/19 9:20 AM
Hey there,

I started meditating in January this year. I just followed some basic instructions for a few months. Back then my practice just consisted out of 15-20 minutes. After a few month I watched a video and messed up the instructions, I was then unknowingly practicing 'open awareness.'
I increased my sits to an hour within a few weeks, what followed was my first insight into 'no-self' a week later I crossed the A&P (not knowing what it was) followed by a Dark Night which lasted 2-3 weeks. After the Dark Night I got the insight into 'emptiness' and I had some moments of pure concsiousness and stillness of the mind which lasted for an hour or two, unfortunately monkey mind came back. During this time I did not knew anything about buddhsim or maps; it all started 3 months ago. I picked up TMI 2 months ago and am currently practicing at stage 5. 4 days ago I crossed the A&P again. The day after I used to switch my practice back to 'open awareness' and the A&P happened again, this time beeing the strongest one, I ended up in a deep Jhana. During this day I was able to relive the A&P as often as I wanted. I ended up getting insight into 'impermanence'; it felt as if my sensory perception would explode and reappear several times per second. I was noting this 'arising and passing away' of perception during the whole day, my perception was also razor sharp. During the Jhanas I could clearly see 'no-self'/'impermanence' and 'emptiness' and also during my dreams it felt if I could feel a sense of self. Yesterday I found my self in deep equanimity during the day. After my afternoon meditation I felt depersonalized and I thought that I would finally make progress (I know I'm weird that I wish to have a mild DP disorder in order to progress).
All this is letting me confused, today I find myself totally okay, even the 3rd Vipassana Jhana scope of attention is gone. Daniel says that the Dark Night will follow after the A&P. Am I still in a transition phase? Or do I have to get all insights together to be on an insight cycle?
I just know that my personality changed a little bit since my last Dark Night, in the beginning I was a complete different person, I became kind, stoppped going out, quitted nicotine, transitioned to a vegn diet etc. My self view reduced dramatically but after I while; the first two insights that I had became more and more like 'knowledge' instead of beeing a consistent view on reality (my desire for truth is still there and I didn't fell back into old habbits). 
Am I stil on the same insight cycle? Or is it a new one? I cant remember having cessations after the first Dark Night and I am also not interested in attaining any path in order to claim attainments. The only thing I want is truth and living by this truth as a permanent view on reality. I dedicated my life towards practice and 2 days ago everything seemed fine, today I feel depressed because nothing seemed to be changed and I can clearly sense the self clinging to distraction and pleasure. 

Thanks for reading and taking your time! 

RE: I need some help regarding Insight
Answer
10/5/19 3:37 PM as a reply to Gregor Sprick.
Hi Gregor,
I'm trying to bring your post up so that some of the more active members can comment about your experience. You sound like you need some encouragement.
As per my limited knowledge, one cycles through stages and one can slip back. Also, one might not notice or pay attention to some of the stages. They can last minutes or days or months. But be sure that you have made a very good progress in a short time. This dissatisfaction is your current challenge that you have to get over. See it as a challenge that will take you ahead in your path, instead of something inferior to what you have experienced or are expecting to happen.

RE: I need some help regarding Insight
Answer
10/6/19 10:12 AM as a reply to Gregor Sprick.
Gregor, progress happens at it's own pace, there isn't much you can do to go faster or slower except consistent daily practice. It is totally normal to go through these stages many many many times before stream entry. Some days you might see new territory, other days you might review old territory. You should always assume that your mind is trying to show you something worth seeing. 

Pieva has given you really excellent advice. Notice your dissatisfaction with progress and see how that is causing suffering. Does that dissatisfaction really help or is it just resisting what is true right now? You see how thoughts about meditation practice can cause a lot of needless suffering? That's a really important lesson to learn.

The best way to think about practice is it is a lifetime practice. It's not something that can be rushed through. Big changes happen early in practice, but to really clean up the persistant stuff and the subtle stuff takes time.