Something weird happened to me

Kalle Spolander, modified 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 11:20 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 11:20 AM

Something weird happened to me

Posts: 20 Join Date: 5/16/19 Recent Posts
Hey everyone. 

Something weird happened to me a few days ago. 

Ive meditated for just over a year. A couple of things have happened. I’ve passed the A&P, hit dark night and equanimity and flirted with jhanas. I’m not super experienced but I try to get 1-2 hours a day minimum. 

I listened to the epiode episode of Loch Kelly in the Sam Harris app and didn’t understand a word. 

Then I listened to Thomas McConkie’s episode with him and something happened to me. 

My problem was always that I was goal oriented and wanted to push forward to attainments. I identified myself by my attainments and meditation. 

but while listening to this episode something clicked. His talk about being in a flow state and what he calls non knowledge that knows just clicked. I don’t know what it was but I suddenly got it. I can rest in this new non-knowing awareness. I feel like my mind has been flipped over. I’ve had this for over 48 hours. It’s like I have access to this awareness where everything feels easy and like a flow. It feels like my soul is somehow light. Whatever happened to me feels significant and cool. 

What could it be?
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Babs _, modified 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 12:17 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 12:17 PM

RE: Something weird happened to me

Posts: 709 Join Date: 2/5/13 Recent Posts
Feels good, no? emoticon
Kalle Spolander, modified 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 12:20 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 12:20 PM

RE: Something weird happened to me

Posts: 20 Join Date: 5/16/19 Recent Posts
You can say that again. I keep thinking that there’s a catch. It can’t possibly be this easy. 

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Babs _, modified 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 2:38 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 2:38 PM

RE: Something weird happened to me

Posts: 709 Join Date: 2/5/13 Recent Posts
Ha, I've heard that before. Congrats...

Where are you from? Your name sounds Swedish or Finnish.
Kalle Spolander, modified 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 3:22 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 3:22 PM

RE: Something weird happened to me

Posts: 20 Join Date: 5/16/19 Recent Posts
Kim Katami:
Ha, I've heard that before. Congrats...

Where are you from? Your name sounds Swedish or Finnish.

Originally Sweden but I’ve lived in LA for 13 years. 

Thank you! And very good guess!
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Babs _, modified 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 3:37 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/4/19 3:37 PM

RE: Something weird happened to me

Posts: 709 Join Date: 2/5/13 Recent Posts
Good for you. I'm still stuck in Helsinki.
Kalle Spolander, modified 4 Years ago at 10/15/19 3:29 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/15/19 3:29 PM

RE: Something weird happened to me

Posts: 20 Join Date: 5/16/19 Recent Posts
So I've been playing with this new awareness and it's cool. 

But I'm realizing that it's also incredibly overwhelming. I feel like my mind is just always aware and is always witnessing the consciousness as it goes. It's like every minute of every day is a meditation. There's barely any separation between sitting and meditating and doing literally anything else. Honestly it's a lot. I feel mentally burned out. This is feeling a bit difficult. What's happening with me?
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Babs _, modified 4 Years ago at 10/16/19 3:47 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/16/19 3:47 AM

RE: Something weird happened to me

Posts: 709 Join Date: 2/5/13 Recent Posts
So, it's good but also too much. Too much means that your subtle body (made of energy channels and centers) has hard time coping with the change. This means that there is dirt in your system that causes discomfort due to increased clarity. You need to get your energies integrated and in balance.

There are standard ways of dealing with situations like this.

Get plenty of rest.
Eat heavily.
Drink plenty of water.
Go outdoors to get fresh air.
Do physical exercise and stretching.
Have sex.
Shamatha meditation where you let energies calm down is good but don't do too much.
Do not try to do balance with breathing practices (pranayama). They'll just make it worse.

I don't know what kind of practices you do or are interested in but the best way, together with the list, to balance and integrate is to practice mantra of deity or guru. There are mantras that do not require empowerment, like Amitabha/Namu Amida Bu, Mani-mantra of Avalokiteshvara/Om Mani Peme Hung and Medicine Buddha. You can also turn to a guru of your liking through simple prayer or mantra (which are essentially the same) such as Sakyamuni Buddha/Namo Buddha Sakyamuni, Guru Rinpoche/Namo Guru Rinpoche or other. Just ask a guru to help you out with your problem. What happens with guru or deity is that the energy of enlightened mind flushes through the samsaric mind where the problem is and removes it. If this is new to you, I highly recommend you to try it out.