John Kenedy:
I was a naughty boy since young and often bullied my brother and mother. My brother almost got killed by me during the time we play and he is hurt when we play at another time, and my mother always want to keep me away from my brother because of how I bully him.
I feel regret and remorseful of how I was not a good older brother while my younger brother always look up to me in admiration
I realise that my step is to acquire forgiveness from my mother and brother or at least stay away from them so that I will not hurt them again. While my brother often wanted to help me financially because of how I cant survive on my own and remain unmarried
I dont know what to do, it seems to me that I cant progress in spiritual path until I obtain their forgiveness.
Can you go back in time and save that boy? Not your brother,
you.
That boy. He's about to make a series of mistakes that will haunt him for years.
Can you save him? No. You can't.
Sad thing about that boy who bullied the other boy: somewhere along the way, that wildcat nature of his got him killed. He
died, and the past reaped him. Check out an old photograph of him sometime and then take a long look in a mirror: Are you
really that boy?
No, you aren't.
You are haunted by your past, but there is no arrow of time that causally connects you with that foolish boy you couldn't save, just artifacts. What you call "past" and "future" are just stories that the Self likes to repeat because it derives its strength primarily from Memory. The only skeleton is your closet is you.
In truth, there is nothing and no one
to forgive, not even "yourself", which can't even reconstruct what was going through that boy's mind without inventing fake details, causes and intentions. You couldn't even
pretend to be that boy if your life depended on it, so knock it off already.
Now is all there ever was, and Now is all there ever is, and the only guy screwing up Now
right Now is you.
But perhaps you're right, and they don't understand that impermanence is the nature of things, and you should therefore apologize.
Sooooooooo...what are you waiting for?
Now is all there is. Go over there right
now and apologize. Just tell the truth: You aren't that person (include "anymore" if you really must.) If you catch hell, stay calm and composed, and explain it again. If they ask for proof by actions, then supply the actions. Do
not prolongue the suffering of the World.
That suffering includes your own.
"Don't underestimate good,
Saying, 'It can't happen to me."
Water falling, drop by drop, will fill even a
large pot.
Likewise, the wise man, accumulating good,
little by little,
Becomes goodness itself."
- The Dhammapada