Message Boards Message Boards

Concentration

Fear Arising

Toggle
Fear Arising
Answer
12/3/19 8:32 PM
Hello Dhamma buddies,

  I just joined this form and am grateful for the added support through cyber space. I hope I am in the right category.

im not sure if I am looking for reassurance or clarity or ways to keep calm or carry through this experience. Probably any feedback if you feel drawn would be helpful.

 I have been practicing different forms of meditation for about 11 years but just came across Daniel's book 2 days ago after I was informed about it on retreat.  I got right into reading it and practicing the three techniques outlined in the first chapter (a,watching the breath and how many individual sensations per breath, b, attempting to bring attention to thumb and index on both hands and recognize which sensations on which hand are being perceived, how many and for how long, c, watching arising and passing of thoughts noticing how, where, why etc.)

ive really wanted to step up practice and so was grateful to try these techniques. I've found it is diving me much deeper into the fact of Anicca and Anatta. (Which is the point, yeah,)  

last sat night when I went to lay down for sleep, my mind wouldn't stop "tracking" which sensations were being perceived. It seemed to be happening automatically.  This was very disconcerting and fear arose into what almost felt like it was moving into panic attack territory until 'I' took a few deep breaths to calm,  I was not sure what happened after, I must have just fallen asleep.

im wondering if this has happened to anyone and if so what you have found helpful to ride through the experience and perhaps where it can be taken.

thank you so much,
adam

RE: Fear Arising
Answer
12/4/19 6:39 AM as a reply to adam Girouard.
adam :

last sat night when I went to lay down for sleep, my mind wouldn't stop "tracking" which sensations were being perceived. It seemed to be happening automatically.  This was very disconcerting and fear arose into what almost felt like it was moving into panic attack territory until 'I' took a few deep breaths to calm,  I was not sure what happened after, I must have just fallen asleep.

There is a part of us that likes this kind of attention. It likes it so much that the mind inclines itself towards practice and things seems to run by themselves. It becomes curious and operates entirely on that curiosity. The curiosity is the need for something somewhere to finally know itself. However, there is another part of us that finds our newfound knowledge distasteful as it sees this as the ending of itself. Fear and panic can ensue and dissolve our curiosity.

On one hand, there is a leaning into the curiosity and on the other hand there is backing away through fear. It is this fear that we must become comfortable with in order for progress to continue. Fear is the principal driver of human consciousness. It drives everything you do. It navigates you back into the realm of name and form and thus one cycles endlessly around the wheel of life. Progress comes through 'recognizing' this. Instead of ignoring the bigger picture we begin to pay attention to it. This means facing our dark side.

When the fear returns, warm yourself towards it. It's just insubstantial belly button fluff in the end.

EDIT: Welcome!

RE: Fear Arising
Answer
12/5/19 1:28 AM as a reply to Bardo.
Ha ha ha! Fluff!! Indeed!

Thankyou for taking the time to reply.  This is a very helpful reminder for me about the fear.  In other practices such as Dream Yoga, turning to the fear juices me up.  But this being a new practice or at least learning it in a deeper way, really caught me off gaurd by the experience of 'groundlessness' especially before trying to sleep. The description of those different parts helps give that greater context and motivation to practice.

I really appreciate the reply.  Thanks for the welcome!