RE: loss of body- help! - Discussion
RE: loss of body- help!
Ian And, modified 15 Years ago at 10/3/09 12:40 PM
Created 15 Years ago at 10/3/09 10:42 AM
RE: loss of body- help!
Posts: 785 Join Date: 8/22/09 Recent Postss santory:
Hello all,
I am a fairly well read practicing beginner. As a professional musician I have developed my concentration from years of second to second awareness of what I am doing on the instrument. . . . I can keep my concentration on the object for at least an hour, with some secondary disturbances passing by like clouds. Rarely get lost in stories.
Doing Samatha practice in a retreat- from one instant to the next- I lost my body completely. It just wasn't there but my awareness was. This was totally unexpected and very freaky. I broke the session by grabbing the floor and moving to re-establish contact points.
My background is troubled as when I was an infant/child I wasn't touched, so I suppose it may have to do with this deficiency? (touch being the only way an infant knows he's 'there' etc etc) So maybe this is the reason behind my negative reaction to what might be actually positive?
Can anyone give me any idea of what's going on?
I am now doing more metta practice until I can get a handle on the samatha practice without anxiety.
I am a fairly well read practicing beginner. As a professional musician I have developed my concentration from years of second to second awareness of what I am doing on the instrument. . . . I can keep my concentration on the object for at least an hour, with some secondary disturbances passing by like clouds. Rarely get lost in stories.
Doing Samatha practice in a retreat- from one instant to the next- I lost my body completely. It just wasn't there but my awareness was. This was totally unexpected and very freaky. I broke the session by grabbing the floor and moving to re-establish contact points.
My background is troubled as when I was an infant/child I wasn't touched, so I suppose it may have to do with this deficiency? (touch being the only way an infant knows he's 'there' etc etc) So maybe this is the reason behind my negative reaction to what might be actually positive?
Can anyone give me any idea of what's going on?
I am now doing more metta practice until I can get a handle on the samatha practice without anxiety.
Relax. (I know, sometimes better said than done. Especially when something unexpected happens.) What you experienced is normal and not abnormal.
You mentioned that you are a "practicing beginner." Depending on how long you have been practicing meditation, such occurrences are normal for beginning meditators. Can't tell you the number of weird things that happened when I first started meditating regularly. So, just accept it.
Now, as to what this might have been, we'll have to do a bit of speculation (this being the Internet and there not being instant feedback to questions for you about this). Yet, even so, the speculation may help you to figure out for yourself what occurred.
If you have been practicing samatha meditation techniques to calm and quiet the mind, it may have been that you became absorbed in the object of meditation and thus lost contact with the body. This is to be expected, from time to time.
When you get past the first three jhanas (meditative levels of absorption) it is not unheard of that the meditator, in the fourth jhana, might lose sensation of the body momentarily as the absorption deepens. These types of reactions to these experiences usually occur when you are first reaching these deep levels of calm and tranquility. You can tend to notice them immediately because they are unexpected. Once you get used to this territory, if or when these occur in the future, you'll likely not be very phased by their occurrence. In other words, this is nothing to become anxious about.
As for your speculation about your childhood experience and not being touched, this is the rational mind reaching out for an explanation regarding what you experienced. This, too, is a natural phenomenon, and to be expected from the deliberative, deductive rational mind. Without further information about how you might perceive how these childhood experiences may be affecting your adult life, I would tend to dismiss this explanation. It might have some relevance; then again it might not. As I say, it is difficult to determine without being able to question you further (and the Internet is NOT the place to indulge in such questioning; best to be done in person with a qualified guide or instructor whose opinion and judgment you trust).
In peace,
Ian
P.S. Congratulations on your development of concentration using your training as a musician. This ability will serve you very well in Dhamma practice, and I suspect that it has something to do with what you experienced. Samatha practice is done, in part, to strengthen and deepen concentration abilities. As a beginner, you are starting out from an advanced position in this respect. Keep up the good work!
Dark Night Yogi, modified 15 Years ago at 10/3/09 11:06 AM
Created 15 Years ago at 10/3/09 11:06 AM
RE: loss of body- help!
Posts: 138 Join Date: 8/25/09 Recent Posts
hi santory and Ian
hey Ian, that was a great reply. I benefited very much reading it = ) = ) = )
On practice:
Im still beginner. started everyday from Jan. 01 09
I remember that there were times that I felt weird stuff happening, and then getting thru them, and then, sometimes they kept repeating, not getting easier. sometimes, they repeat a few times, getting easier slowly but surely.
sometimes they got easier and became no problem fast.
but the thing i noticed is, they all become easier, this includes weird experiences, and more importantly, Painful experiences, seemed to have lessened now. w/c was my biggest problem.
On music/skill
Id like to use that as a marketing slogan for dharma. sorta like: would u invest ur time/energy in learning an instrment? or learning to get enlightened, i spent countless hours of practicing guitar, and didnt really get that good hehe. but then, i thought, the same amount of skill can get u enlightened! go for that instead!
hey Ian, that was a great reply. I benefited very much reading it = ) = ) = )
On practice:
Im still beginner. started everyday from Jan. 01 09
I remember that there were times that I felt weird stuff happening, and then getting thru them, and then, sometimes they kept repeating, not getting easier. sometimes, they repeat a few times, getting easier slowly but surely.
sometimes they got easier and became no problem fast.
but the thing i noticed is, they all become easier, this includes weird experiences, and more importantly, Painful experiences, seemed to have lessened now. w/c was my biggest problem.
On music/skill
Id like to use that as a marketing slogan for dharma. sorta like: would u invest ur time/energy in learning an instrment? or learning to get enlightened, i spent countless hours of practicing guitar, and didnt really get that good hehe. but then, i thought, the same amount of skill can get u enlightened! go for that instead!
J Adam G, modified 15 Years ago at 10/4/09 2:40 AM
Created 15 Years ago at 10/4/09 2:40 AM
RE: loss of body- help!
Posts: 286 Join Date: 9/15/09 Recent Posts
Or as it says in MCTB, becoming an arahat is hard, but not as hard as becoming a doctor (and Daniel has done both).
s santory, modified 15 Years ago at 10/4/09 3:49 AM
Created 15 Years ago at 10/4/09 3:49 AM
RE: loss of body- help!
Posts: 2 Join Date: 10/3/09 Recent Posts
Dear Ian,
Many thanks for your fast reply! That this is totally normal is very heartening; from now on I'll just try to observe it as phenomena that comes with the work and let it all go. This is a wonderful site and help such as yours- quick and cogent, is an indispensable resource for all of us.
Again, thank you!
fm
Many thanks for your fast reply! That this is totally normal is very heartening; from now on I'll just try to observe it as phenomena that comes with the work and let it all go. This is a wonderful site and help such as yours- quick and cogent, is an indispensable resource for all of us.
Again, thank you!
fm