Seven years later .....

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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/27/19 10:44 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/27/19 10:39 PM

Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
For three or four years, up until, I think, around the spring of 2012 -- I had an intense meditation practice, I was active on this board and several others,  I had a skype student-teacher relationship with Kenneth Folk (I can't quite remember how long that lastest and how exactly it ended), and I was very peripherally involved with sittings at SFZC, Spirit Rock, and with a couple of local sanghas. 

I stopped practicing, I stopped reading and posting online on the subject, and for much of the time I stopped being very interested in it all. I wasn't exactly bitter I don't think, just sort of exausted and  dissapointed with the whole thing, and by "whole thing," I mean, myself. 

While some of the the past seven years were good and fruitful, it was mostly rife with significant failures in marriage/relationships, parenting, career/work life, as well as long periods of addiction and compulsive behavior in regards  to sex, alcohol, drugs (mostly over-the-counter types such as taking 20 to 50 benadryl at bedtime!), music listening/playing, writing, social media, and a couple of fellow humans. I was pretty miserable most of the time. Yay. 

Now, I'm 63, single, living alone, and kind of retired. I live in Modesto, California, and I get monthly social security and work as an Uber  driver  (mostly by driving over to the San Francisco Bay Area) to supplement that meager amount. 

I'm kind of stable finally, and at I'm starting to make some peace with my failures and bad behaviors, and I've been working at repairing some of the damage I've done. 

Sometime around October or November, I started getting interested in practice again. And, now, I am becoming very interested, similar to my experience seven years ago. 

I wanted to make this post partly as a reintroduction, and partly as a way back in to some sense of community, of belonging to a group of like-minded people. 

This is all so new again -- and I feel  some caution due to my prior experiences -- that I'm not sure when or if I'll join a real-life group or sangha (though it's likely), but in the meantime I'm hoping for some of the camaderie I remember I used to feel posting on these dharma-related forums. 
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 3:00 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 3:00 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Hi! I hope you'll find what you are searching for, and I look forward to seeing more posts. Best wishes!
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Ben V, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 6:44 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 6:44 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 417 Join Date: 3/3/15 Recent Posts
Nice to meet you. Sorry for the past difficulties. Looking forward to reading about your practice. Wish you peace.
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Nick O, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 6:46 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 6:46 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 317 Join Date: 11/5/17 Recent Posts
Welcome back Mike! Best wishes to you from a fellow Californian (Nevada City!)
Anton, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 12:09 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 12:09 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 11/30/19 Recent Posts
Was there a certain event that caused you to stop practising? Do you consider yourself having reached stream-entry? Welcome back to the path emoticon...
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Not two, not one, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 12:29 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 12:29 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 1038 Join Date: 7/13/17 Recent Posts
Nice to meet you Mike. Sending compassion, and best wishes your way.  

Malcolm
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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 2:31 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 2:30 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
I’m Anton:
Was there a certain event that caused you to stop practising? Do you consider yourself having reached stream-entry? Welcome back to the path emoticon...

Ha!
hard to remember all the details of why I stopped but I remember I was very into debating all the fine points of practice and methods and stages and very into being right and I think I just got my feelings hurt in some online debate and decided it was all silly. Or something like that. 

The teacher I was working with thought I’d reached stream-entry and I certainly wanted to believe it was true at the time,  but I no longer believe it. However at this point so far in my new practices I’m not 
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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 3:24 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 3:24 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
as focused on that yet. 
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Sigma Tropic, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 4:06 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 4:06 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 368 Join Date: 6/27/17 Recent Posts
Nice to meet you and welcome!
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terry, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 4:08 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 4:08 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 2424 Join Date: 8/7/17 Recent Posts
Mike Monson:
as focused on that yet. 


beginner's mind is the way
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Chris M, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 7:35 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 7:34 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 5104 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
Holy sh*t. it's Mike Monson!

Good to see you again Mike. I hope you stick around.
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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 8:28 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/28/19 8:28 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
Oh, man!
Great to see you too, Chris. 
You've been on my mind .... 
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Chris M, modified 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 9:30 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 9:30 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 5104 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
In a good way, I hope  emoticon
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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 9:44 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 9:44 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
yes
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Chris M, modified 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 11:58 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 11:58 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 5104 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
And?
shargrol, modified 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 5:15 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 5:15 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 2326 Join Date: 2/8/16 Recent Posts
Nothing else, you have simply been on his mind. emoticon


Hi Mike!!!!!
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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 5:35 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/29/19 5:35 PM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
Oh, I thought it was a rhetorical question. emoticon

Hi!
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Chris M, modified 4 Years ago at 12/30/19 8:29 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/30/19 8:29 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 5104 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
It was the ellipsis that fooled me, leading me to think...
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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/30/19 11:39 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/30/19 11:38 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
Several thoughts:

-- remembering when you came to visit me in Modesto. I picked you up at the Double Tree Hotel downtown. You were standing among all the people and cars there at the pickup-dropoff spot - everyone and everything moving moving bursting around -- and you were so still and ordinary, your feet on the sidewalk, looking utterly at home, like a buddha in American business casual. 

- remembering that you DID go to the trouble and come visit me (twice?) based on our practice relationship online and it must've been because we really connected in that way and so much time has passed and so much has happened I'm curious about that connection, you know? 

- wondering if you were still involved and practicing and wondering if I'd see you on one of these boards again and being delighted that here you are still doing it and still talking with calm uncensored authority about amazing things like cessation. 
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Chris M, modified 4 Years ago at 12/31/19 8:32 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/31/19 8:32 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 5104 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
I recall those things, too. Sitting in your backyard talking for hours until the early morning, for example. That was back in ancient times, maybe 2008 or thereabouts. I don't get to your neck of the woods anymore, but if I do...
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Mike Monson, modified 4 Years ago at 12/31/19 10:42 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/31/19 10:42 AM

RE: Seven years later .....

Posts: 55 Join Date: 12/27/19 Recent Posts
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