RE: Would appreciate some feedback as to where I could be - Discussion
RE: Would appreciate some feedback as to where I could be
Nikolai ., modified 10 Years ago.Posts: 1650 Join Date: 1/23/10 Recent Posts
I do noting practice. that's it. I don't want to be blissed out since it won't get me where I want to be (not that there is a there to be at).
Are you avoiding the bliss? Best way to progress rapidly in my opinion is to note WHATEVER is taking centre stage. if it is bliss note the bliss. Don't avoid the bliss. It seems by this one statement that you are looking for something other than bliss. Let bliss arise if it comes. And note it like you'd note any other phenomenon.
* Rapid progress= looking at
* Slower progress= looking for (if you are looking for something, note "looking for" or "searching". If you are avoiding something, note "avoiding" or "aversion")
I start by sitting outside. I close my eyes and focus on my breath. I think rising and falling for the breath as it comes in and out. Immediately, I note the sound of a car coming, the sound of a bird, two birds, different birds. I just mentally note sound for all types of sounds. When the breeze i felt I note feeling (as in something felt not the motion). I do this for everything and try to get back to the breath but am continually noting everything (these sense doors provide a lot of information). I note sound as an airplane goes over head. I then note thought as I make the mental note of the sensation. Eventually the breath gets lost as one sensation out of many.
Nice! I did the same. If you find yourself "looking for" the breath when it apparently dissapears, note "looking for".
During this time, in my mind I see mostly black. But there comes a point in noting that the color green appears in the middle like a blob in a lava lamp. Out of that color comes a purple color. I simply note it as seeing, and also note the thought I just had. These colors come out of each other. A few minutes go by (I only meditate for about 10-15 minutes because after that my mind wanders off too much and I would rather have a few minutes of good meditation than an hour of crap),
Note "wandering, wandering" or "confusion" or "lost" or "spacing out" or "proliferating" or "mental masturbation" or "crap".
Good meditation (in my books)= not allowing gaps in your noting, like when you decided to end the meditation due to a wandering mind. With gaps in that momentum, progress may be much slower. Include ANYTHING and EVERYTHING into your meditation. Then it becomes TRULY GOOD MEDITATION! You want to get 1st path and beyond?.....maintain a momentum and allow for NO GAPS!!!!
and then I feel like I am pulled forward into the color. I feel nauseous, like I feel being on a boat or merry go round (I get motion sickness very easily). After that feeling of being pulled forward, I feel fine and see the colors. I go on noting. I note that now I feel okay. There is no nauseating feeling, just me noting. I continue on and this happens again and again. I don't react to it. I simply try to note all the other stuff going on.
Note "nauseous, nauseous" or "dizzy, dizzy" or "unpleasant" or "pressure" or WHATEVER is taking centre stage.
I feel okay--> Note "pleasant" or "peace" or "equanimous" or "space" or "looking for" or "curious" or "image" or "seeing" or WHATEVER takes centre stage.
If you see the nausea coming back and repeating , note it. Don't look or wait for anything. I can't stress enough the fact that what led to extremely fast progress for myself was noting WHATEVER took centre stage. I looked for NOTHING, but looked at ANYTHING that took centre stage.
In reading some other posts, I have to say I do not feel waves of bliss or anything else. I simply note. In looking at the posts, I have determined that I have gotten to the second jhana, where I have left the distractions of the first jhana and and simply sitting in a cool awareness.
Note "expecting" or "wanting" or "waiting for" or "craving" or WHATEVER is arising to take centre stage, like thoughts of "is this 2nd jhana?" Dont know if you are doing this of course, but you get the drift.
Cool awareness--> Note that cool awareness!!!!
Since i would like to progress onwards, some comments on where I am and what to do would be helpful (yes, I know just keep noting). I intentionally try not to read about what you should feel, see, hear, etc... as suggestion of those things tends to make people conjure those very things up. But I kind of need a roadmap of where I am.
Keep noting WHATEVER takes centre stage and post some updates on this thread. And try and be a descriptive as you can without speculation so people here can relate to what you are experiencing. If you just call it 1st jhana and 2nd jhana how will we know?
Edited to say, if you find yourself "conjuring up" stuff, or perhaps "scripting" stuff, that is exactly what you should be noting! Anything and I mean ANYTHING can become fuel for the rocket ship to 1st path and beyond. Even the stuff you think will hinder progress. When in doubt, note it!
Steph S, modified 10 Years ago.Posts: 669 Join Date: 3/24/10 Recent Posts
Anything and I mean ANYTHING can become fuel for the rocket ship to 1st path and beyond. Even the stuff you think will hinder progress. When in doubt, note it!
I'd even say the stuff that you think will hinder progress is the stuff to really pay attention to. One of the points of all this is to recognize suffering, right? And those moments of doubt, contraction, aversion, etc. can glean really good insights if you're skillful about it. If you don't shy away from those insecure moments and just recognize them right now, as they happen and see it for what it is - just the bare phenomena of what it is, without carrying on a story about it or wallowing in it - it will help you immensely as you progress.